It's Big, It's Beautiful, It's Burgandy and It's a Buick...

And in only seven low monthly payments, it will be mine...

Good evening America,

We've not spoken in some time, and I wanted to let you know I honestly feel bad about that. If the federal government can spy upon my private life, under some assumed expansion of the constitutional powers of a president in a time of war, then I can come out and talk to you all directly. Towards my international audience, i've been tracking the hits, and you've really been falling off, so bugger the lot of you, especially the Canadians.

It's been a rathering interesting ride since I'd last popped in to say hello. As much as I sometimes pretend that my life can be uninteresting, or dull in reality thats not the way. Not atleast in the big picture sense. Obviously, at times, I find myself without something to do. Really though theres a good bit of drama swarming about me at almost all times.

The topic of this particular post started last Wednesday, about 8pm. I'd just finished dinner, went up strairs to check my mail, and found out that a buddy of mine was in Cleveland, and had been for some days. I was unaware, not that the information wasn't available, I really just hadn't been paying the attention I guess I should've. It was literally hidden away, somewhere I barely ever look. But, as it turns out, the plan came together quickly.

I decided to go out and have a drink. Ok, so those of you who've been reading of my life for any time now know that that isn't true. It's pretty clear that i've not got a problem with drinking, or any sort of addiction that'd require an instutition with an acronym assigned to it. But, in reality, I rarely ever have just one drink. It seems such a waste. Inevitably, a single drink will do little to your judgement, and leave you tired and unsatisfied. Not to mention, initiate an almost instantaneous hang over. Generally, I have more than a single drink when I go out.

It's important to note that I was warned of his state, he was unaware that he'd be enjoying my company that evening, and had been drinking since whatever business function he'd been forced to attend. Also, it's important to note that he'd warned me that I shouldn't nor did I need to attempt to keep up with his pace, where in he's had a few more years experience and is a bit more proficient when it comes to drinking. Finally, he'd noted that I didn't need to feel leashed to him that evening, and that I could find my way home at whatever hour i'd had enough.

All of these are valid and worth while warnings, and I really should've tucked away my subconscious pride, and taken heed.

Lets all take a moment to appreciate hindsight. Isn't it wonderful to look back and say... Wow, wouldn't it of been better to do this instead?

But, against what should've been my better judgement, I choose to go out and have a great time.

Lets start from the begining. Left the house at about 8:30. Returned shortly there after, I'd forgotten my camera, and something in the air suggested this might just be one of those memorable evenings you read about on someone's lame ass blog.

That being said, I actually found my way downtown. Let me say this, downtown is a serious bitch. Lot of streets downtown, and not that much parking. So, I found a meter on 6th and St. Clair, about a block away from Key Center, which was the objective.

We started in the bar on the bottom floor. I took a Miller Light, which is generally my drug of choice. To all of those who think they have some high and mighty taste in beer, let me say this; I really don't like beer, not particularly fond of the taste, but it does provide one very important service... http://thatvideosite.com/view/41.html (It'll get ya drunk!)

We left pretty soon after our first drinks. There was this young woman looming around behind us, i'd assumed she were interested in my buddy's ever charming british accent, but as it turns out on slow nights, she paces around waiting for someone to light a ciggarette. So, we left.

Ran up to the 23rd floor, checked out his room, pretty decent place to stay. Especially on the company's dime. Took us a while to decide, but eventually I decided that Alice Cooperstown was the place to be. There was a Tribe game that night, they were getting owned on, and it started to rain... Should equate to a pretty decent crowd at the bars that surround the Jake. As it turns out though, reality and logic often part ways. Pretty lame crowd at Cooperstown, decided to head over to the Thirsty Parrot, which is the bar caddy corner to our current location. Let me say this, the flashing lights, the loud music, and the echo'd chatter and cheering that pour from the patio of the Parrot are in themselves all a lie. Again, pretty lame.

Ran into some random young woman who was rather convienced we'd somehow taken Chemistry together. I've never taken Chemistry, not at CSU atleast. But, I played along, simply because it was about the most entertaining interaction we'd had all night. Eventually, we found our way away.

Stumbled down a dark alley, which I thought at the time lead over to e. 4th st. It didn't. It didn't lead anywhere really, so we both elected to piss on some public property and double back. At this point, the rain became a much larger annoyance than it'd been previously. We'd tried to hail down a cab, but there were none to be found (which again speaks to how shamefully small our city can be). So, I decided to flag down a car. This of course never works. It really never does, no one stops, I don't care if it's a blizzard, no one stops. But, somehow, some way, someone stopped this evening. Gentleman by the name of Paul Hoynes. Mr. Hoynes happens to be the sports writer for the Plain Dealer, which I thought was sort funny and an opportunity for some late evening name dropping. Pretty decent conversation, on what was a short trip over to West 6th street.

I've been neglecting to mention my drinks through out this scene. I'd been diving into Red Bull and Vodka all evening, interlaced between beers. I was pretty drunk. But theres something about big beat techno that lights the drunken soul on fire. Not entirely sure which bar we were at on West 6th, but they're basically all the same. Generally a good time, but I believe there was some weird contention with a small group because my buddy said something flattering to one of the young women amongst them. Really barely worth mentioning, so we eventually jumped out. Last call as it were basically ended our evening.

Don't really remember our way back to the hotel, we could've walked it for all I knew. Pretty much wasn't in a place to drive, set my alarm for 9 am, and hoped parking tickets were cheap that early in the morning.

The moral of this story will come a bit later.
I'm tired.
Been a long day,

I'll check back with you all a bit later America,

-Ry4k

p.s.- This story gets a little more interesting in a moment. Read backwards.