So, It's Been Three Months Since I Visited...

It's amazing I can be an absentee father to my own blog.

Let us work of the assumption that i've somehow not had a single word to write in three months. Not that that is anywhere near accurate, but I don't know if I can explain the lack of writing in the last couple months. I'll go with "I was busy".

Actually, if you look back through the archive of posts, I noticed two different and distinct patterns:
1.) I have a habit of blogging when I can't sleep, which has really not been a problem for me recently. I've been sleeping better than ever, which could be in direct relation to how much happier i've been as a whole.
2.) I've been in class. As in, Spring Semester at CSU. It's almost over though, and in reality I should be focusing on a paper for ENG241, Intro to Fiction and Drama, which is sadly such a joke.

But, i'm back, even in that temporary "currently" sense.

So, as it turns out, Mom's not been lying to me all these years. I guess I am actually as charming and attractive as she's been reassuring me all these years. Not that I didn't believe her, but it's sort of one of her maternal duties in the populate the planet sense. I'd explain that further, but it's pretty damned funny in it's current obscure ass fashion.

As it stands, i've met someone. That statement in itself is a misnomer. I knew her previously, but as fate would have it, we'd crossed pathes again, and are both rather enjoying the ride. I don't know the level of detail i've breached previously in these posts, when it comes to relationships. It seems inappropriate in a certain way to "out someone" on the internet, not that i've got a massive readership. Actually, thinking back, i've not been single for as long as i'd previously thought I were. With the modern definition of relationships, it's difficult at times to determine what qualifies a relationship.

Currently, i'm not single. Not that I hold "labels" in all that high a regard, it's good to know where you stand.

I've heard for years, various artists present the idea of "friends to lovers" in their music, but personally i've never experienced it, which is pleasently surprising. Its amazing how comfortable you can be with someone, someone you know on a very deep and personal level, so early in a relationship. Usually we'd both be stumbling through that akward "getting to know you" phase, which can be fun and all. This time round, its a bit different. Where in we'd not seen nor spoken to one another in some years, we've both "evolved" into something much greater. I've alluded previously though out all these thousands of words to the idea of "personal growth", but it's never so evident as when you find someone again.

Two brief interjections,
1.) I promise to stop "quoting" things.
2.) I promise to stop making these mini lists.

College has done so amazingly well to shape my view of the world. Even flipping back only a year or so in these posts, i've come to realize how greatly my perspective has changed. I must say though, i'm a little more scared of the world than ever. Big crazy unstable place out there, and no where near enough people hold my same viewpoints. Even worse, I have a great deal of trouble bridging the divide, trying to express in some lucid fashion why my angle is superior.

Not to suggest there was some overarching structure or hierarchy to this post, but I feel as if i've some how got off topic.

Whats really funny is i'm litterally just killing time. I'm waiting till 12:15, so I can make a phone call, and inquire as to how my girl did on her first final. Let me tell you, i'm obviously still an undergraduate, but there seems a great divide between undergraduate, and graduate finals. Now, obviously, law school is serious business, but I do wonder if I could handle that sort of competition and pressure. It's like locking a couple hundred people in a room, and telling them that only 20 or so are ever allowed to leave. I guess from where I stand, currently enjoying the academic atmosphere so much, I don't know if I want to experience that sort of cut throat mentality. I like discussion, debate, dissent, and information.

But, the more I learn of the world, the more i'm convienced that here in the land of capitalism i'll have to fight and claw my way to the top if I ever really want to make it. Thats a truely bothersome thought. I can't assume it to be exclusively true, but I just see all the dirtiest fighters on the top. The Kenneth Lay's of the world, the Dick Cheney's of the world, etc... But then, in contrast, there are the Bill Gates and Barack Obama's of the world, suggesting that the righteous path isn't necessarily one of poverty or joylessness.

Perhaps it's about assigning value. If you hold the dollar almighty, and your personal dignity or morality in a not so close 53rd, you will assumingly be willing to generate corporate scandal for the man above you, so you can coup de tat a corner office and seven figure salary.

Alright, I'm done. I'll wait out the remaining 15 minutes or so in the shower.

Cheers,

-Ry$4k

p.s.- I'll be back sooner than last, I promise.