By The "C" on Cleveland Browns Stadium...

Yes, his gas petal is... flacid, it's gone limp...

So, yesterday was mighty interesting. I'm sitting at home, somewhere around 6 pm, and I get a call from JJ. He wants me to grab Nascar 2004 out of the XBOX and meet him out front of the house in 15 minutes. See, Nascar 2005 was supposively shipped two days past, and in his excitement, JJ has been up to Game Crazy the last three days anxiously awaiting it's arrival. Either way, I find a shirt, and grab the game, and sit about and wait. JJ calls me again about 8 minutes later, and I stand up, turn off the TV, and start towards the door. He tells me he needs another favor. As it ends up, JJ is stranded with a broken truck, by the "C" in Cleveland Browns Stadium.

I jump in the Buick, which had instantly become far superior to JJ's truck, and headed out. Luckily, being as we live on the western crest of Cleveland, he wasn't all that far, or I might have had to tell him I was tied up at the moment. 2 West to the 9th street exit, a left at the light, a left at the 2 West enterance, and bear right, and there stands JJ heartbroken as ever. After a few meager efforts towards investigating what might the problem might be, we decide Triple A is the right choice. And then... we wait...

First, let me say this if you're a crackhead, or ever aspire to be a crackhead, don't attempt to give auto advice. Second, if you're a crackhead, instead of asking for money, you might want to beg for a pair of shoes, if you've not got any and all. Finally, if you're a crackhead, try a story a little more believable than "I'm trying to get to Wisconsin."

Yeah, so we're standing by the car, and we're approached by a crackhead looking to find her way to Wisconsin. You'd think it unfair to assume this person were a crackhead, until you realized all the obvious signs. One: If the gas petal doesn't work on a car, it's unreasonable to assume it's a transmission problem. Two: Crackheads have a very obvious shake or tremor about them. Three: Crackheads have been classically known to trade their shoes for a nice fat rock. Four: Cracky-ass Lips. Five: No one, litterally no one, is trying to get to Wisconsin. Infact many people are trying to escape Wisconsin as we speak. Six: You could hear the distinct clink of spare change on crack pipe as she walked.

Six signs of the mysterious "Cleveland Nubian Crackious Fiendian"...

Anyhow, i'll get back to this some other time. I've got to go get coffee before I start my work day, or at least before the boss shows.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Fuck, I am the boss... Now I'm in trouble, i've been spotted.