As we stumble towards the 11th hour

I think I may have just wet myself in excitement.

Well, we're coming upon it rather quickly now, aren't we? The anticipation is enough to drive the average man insane, just imagine what it's doing to me. This is the sort of thing you only get to do once in life, and you'll never be the same after. So, for those honestly anonymous viewers that come to the blog from the far stretches of Canada or what not, or those who never recieved the invitation. This Saturday, I will be having one of my testicles surgically removed. That's right, I will reign over my eunuch brothers as king.

Wait a tick, I think that's next weekend. This weekend I get to watch one of my best friends marry my sister, and give a PG-13 speech.

I think that was the point I was getting to, the wedding is quickly approaching, and i'm still without a best man's speech. Which really pisses me off, because BestManSpeeches.com assured me they'd have it Fedex'd to my office by 10 am today. I actually just checked if that exsisted, to gauge how funny it was, and decided weather or not to reference back to it later. I intend the speech to cause laughter and tears, and that warm fuzzy feeling deep down inside... Much alike my last couple sexual experiences.

Point of reference on that one. I'm pretty sure somewhere in the lineage of my family we may have a few drops of black blood. Yes, I just admitted for the first time here on the vast world of the internet, that there might just be a bit of pluralism in my bloodline. I'm thinking it might infact even be black. Now, I can hear your shock and amazement from here, and that's alright, I was almost taken aback too. But, the more and more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I've got a few very black traits about me, there of course is the undeniable infatuation for rap music. That isn't a really conviencing factor and all, because I love livin ghetto fabulous. Second of course is the magic stick, those of you who've seen it know what I'm talking about. I'm huge in Japan, so much so an elderly asian woman shreiked "Godzilla!" when I dropped trow. Now, not all of these traits are positive things, I've got a handful of sickle cells and bad credit. So, it's all really a big trade off in the end.

I wonder how many people I could offend with a simple little joke like that. I think i'll incorporate it into my best man speech somehow, watch my grandma clutch her chest and what not. How incriminating is that shit? She gasps, grabs her chest, and exclaims "Ohhh sweet Cletus, how i miss you so"...

I was originally going to draft up the best man's speech here, but i've got some work to do, not to mention of course, it's supposed to be a surprise and all.

Thats the lot from me for the moment.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I think I should change my middle name to Cletus, out of respect and all.