I No Longer Trust Numbers...

Thats the sort of statement that needs to be modified to not be received as purely sarcastic or simply ridiculous...

And modified it shall be; in reference to clothing, I no longer trust numbers.

It seems so simple a concept, use a measure of inches to represent the size of an article of clothing. I imagine at one point in time, they used to be actual objective measures of distance. A circumference of a waist band, or the measure from the crouch to the cuff.

On a side note, why hasn't anyone ever created and presented a third measure in mens clothing? Which could only be deemed the "drop"... The measure between the waistband and the crouch of the pants. All the blessed men amongst us know why that's a valid question...

But, I regress. In a general sense, i'm not the sort that appreciates absolutes. For the most part, I loathe them. I'm a man who understands the necessity of subtle nuance, but in this regard it doesn't serve us in the pragmatic sense. As men's clothing has become more and more stylized over time (read; effeminate) the previous paradigm of the inch has faded from glory.

Again, an aside, whens the last time you saw pants that weren't an even measurement? Seriously, do all men skip right past the 33" mark from crouch to cuff? Is it part of that awkward highschool growth spurt? Where we only grow in even denominations?

I blame society. Not just for the pressures and the more modern evolution of men's fashion, but it's disdain for uncouthness. Because I believe so deeply in freedom and society's obsession with cleanliness, i'm unable to try on pants before purchasing for the most part... Alright, that reference is slightly too obscure to make any sense to most (thats right, all 12 people that frequent this drivel). The freedom allusion is a soon to be unveiled reference to the fact that I don't wear underwear (go ahead, take a moment to revel in that). The point of course being, often by relying on the numeric system we've so exceptionally internalized, more often than not pants that I purchase don't fit as reliably as i'd like them to. I own about a half dozen pairs of jeans, all of which are purported to measure 34X34 inches, some made by the same manufacturer, and none of them fit the same.

Personally, I'm not particularly fond of the homogenized "McWorld" model in which the double cheeseburger of New York is the same as the one in Dubai or Columbus or San Fransico (I hear San Fran's has extra special "secret sauce") <-- inappropriate slighted reference to the west coast gay community, by the way. I understand the base concept, in branding and consistency, but I also loathe the lack of nuance. Which is a clever way to tie this all together and offer me an exit from it at the same time...

Cheers,
-Ry$4k