Stumbling Blind Through the Land of the Lost...

If someone made a song of that title, they could play it everytime I entered a room... Like the president and hail to the chief

Hail to the chief, cause he's the cheif and he needs hailing...

I think i've come to that point in my life where as I deserve my own theme song. Not only that, but a diplomatic passport. Thing is I think I deserve many things, but I have come to realize nothing will come my way unless I make it happen. No one hands you a million dollars, hell not even the lottery, as cliche and catchy and marketing campaign as it sounds "You've got to play to win". Which seems to contradict itself honestly, simply because I feel like a few areas of my life have been exceptionally charitable. Opportunities have been presented to me hand over fist, and some how, I feel shorted constantly. I would just seem I can't stay ahead of the game. Something is always there to blindside me as I turn the corner. Something laid low to cut my legs out from under me as I close towards a serious stride. I don't mind the idea of struggle, struggle is what makes victory taste so sweet. Struggle is the root of the sense of accomplishment. It's not supposed to be easy, if it were easy, everyone would win and we could seperate the lot of them. But, not people like me. People like myself. People born to win. We the chosen few, the natural born leaders, the fortunate sons, we were put here to shape and mold the will of the masses at our every whim. We were created to lead the meager to the light. Things should not be like this for me. I'm better than some petty debt, or parking ticket, or occasional rejection professionally. I rise above these things to stand atop the milk crate, to shout to the people, this is the road, sway neither to nor fro, and you'll find glory.

But, not me, not now, not with the losing streak that swamps around of recent. Things are fine, but for some reason the water level seems to creep past my ears and I can barely see a thing. I know the answer. I can see it right ahead of me on the horizon, alongside the end of the rainbow. I honestly believe it's the fear of failure that causes me to trip. Surrounded in the regret of every wrong action in the past, i over consider everything, consumed with my own self-doubt, as the pitch sails by. Cofidence comes with time, with a winning record, its not something you buy or acquire... It comes with time, like healthy self image pubic hairs... Lets take a moment to reflect on that last similie... Ahhh, tastes like chicken.

So, thats the answer then, know it's upon me to know that i'll win. Contingency of one, one to lead them, know thyself... Although it's been said... Many times, many ways, Merry Christmas...

-Rys4K