Rys4K, or something like it...

My Inaugural Adventures... Day 1 Part 2

2009-01-18T23:11:00.000-05:00

So, it's 11:11 -- really, i'm not much for numerology, but i'm pretty sure i'm supposed to make a wish.

A look back at our first day.

It's important to note that i'm currently working on two hours of sleep. I had a lot more difficultly sleeping in the car than I imagined I would... That would probably be the biggest mistake of planning and plotting out our little adventure.

What really amazes me was how strong I kept going all day... I swear to you, DC has energy streaming through it's streets -- transmitting itself into your soul as soon as you set foot.

Soooooooooooo, we got into town about 10:04 -- more specifically, we arrived in the parking lot for the Fairfax / Vienna rail station. After fumbling through our luggage, shifting assets from the visibility to the secretive nature of the trunk -- we had our first adventure on the Metro system.

I kid you not, no matter how much you expect it -- you'll almost fall when the train jerks forward, or to a stop.

So, we got into town.

And, while the "itinerary" suggested we were supposed to catch the DC Circulator we ended up hoofing it over... 6 blocks up, 4 blocks over... to the wrong address. Because the "N" street sounds a lot like "M" street.

But it was a bit of good fortune, we stumbled across a motorcade... A large motorcade at that. Something like 6 SUVs, 3 15 passenger vans, about a dozen DC police, secret service scattered everywhere, and an ambulance... It was the ambulance that narrowed the field to two possibilities, and the fact that it was a Catholic church that sealed the odds.

But, we missed their exit.

So, we decided to track down the Manifest Hope Gallery -- thank god for internet access on mom's phone. A lot of our photos from today are from Manifest Hope, I was a little let down with the lack of photos from the DNC incarnation.

A great gallery, some incredible artwork, check out the photos.

So, then we went back, and got to see Biden and his whole clan -- remember, every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great...

Didn't really get great photos, was just super hyped to be 20 ft away.

Then, we hoofed it back to the Mall.

Seriously, we walked about 6 miles in total today.

About 80% of them were before the concert.

Then we stood for 3 hours in the same spot.

I don't mean to speak poorly of it, honestly it was incredibly well constructed. A huge mass of talent, mixed with perfect stagecraft, and some classic American songs. Mix in a million people, dancing and singing and laughing and clapping along, and it made for quite the spectacle.

But then, getting out... then getting lost in the city, then having the metro stations overflowing with lines stretching three blocks away... You know, made for a long end to a long day.

If you read carefully, you'll notice I didn't mention eating at all throughout our entire day... Which, was a really poor choice and critical oversight. Finally checked into the hotel, went next door, had some Red Lobster and all was well.

It's late, and we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.

So, till then, be well.

Cheers,
-Rys

My Inaugural Adventures... Day 1 part 1

2009-01-18T23:09:00.000-05:00

-- This was written while we were driving down --

It’s 8:20 am, and the souls are coughing.
Now, it’s all about technology.

We’re almost seven hours into our adventure. We have all of three working CDs in the car, and the last of them is about to end. That sounds like more of a metaphor than it’s intended.

We began this venture at exactly 1:32 am, it was 21 degrees out, and I’d not slept in over twelve hours. Moms was freshly woken from the most magic hour and a half nap of her adult life.

A quick open letter to Governor Ed Rendell. Dear Governor, Plow some fucking roads. You just picked our pocket for $13.75 in tolls to pass through your precious commonwealth and you don’t have the decency to increase the likelihood of our survival with just a single plow out on the roads. Yes, people do drive through the night. Although we enjoy everyone’s favorite winter time driving fun, make your own lane cause you can’t see the lines anyways – we’d prefer the order and structure of clearly demarked lanes.

Both the hours and the miles seem to fly by now that I’m serenading moms as she drives. Except at the moment, cause I’m narrating this post out loud, -- brief interjection, moms would like you to know we high fived when crossing the Mason Dixon Line… We assumed southern culture was a decade or so behind socially, so the high five seemed appropriate.

The Starbucks courses through us both, even at $2.00 + for a large… That’s right, I said large, it was 7 am and the young woman behind the counter was too pleasant and hung over to correct me.

Maryland is super fucking bleak, I can’t believe the population isn’t in violent daily swings. Either you’re bored and fornicating (what else is there to do) or you’ve ended it all to wipe away the grey of the Maryland skyline…

Though, the high tension power lines are reassuring… Almost like signs of civilization.

To perpetuate the running gag, I’m seeing a lot of out of state license plates – and I know where they’re all going. The same place everyone is going, we’re collapsing slowly upon the center of the political universe.

52 miles until Virginia, by Moms estimation… I’ve never been so excited to enter Virginia, until I met Maryland.

Johnny Cash is recalling his Saturday night glories, in Sunday morning coming down.

A few moments ago, I was taking photos of moms and I – except they’re an unflattering angle of me, and she was just too busy trying to keep us on the road to pay attention and smile.

That’s all for now, I want to smoke.

My Future Called...

2008-12-31T15:59:00.003-05:00

Accordingly, the weather report says it's Bright -- so much so they recommend I wear "shades."

Wow, way to bury a pop culture allusion.

Any how, I was sitting at my desk Monday evening, just after dinner, and this arrived.

Fortunately, two emails arrived at the same time -- so, the preview pane was filled with some crap about Tigerdirect's 3rd rendition of Pink Somethings (another indicator of how bad holiday sales were this year).

I believe I exclaimed -- "Oh shit, it's happening." Or something along those lines. Took me a minute to convince myself I had to open / look at / face the email.

I'll be honest with you here internets, after the exam I felt a lot better about my performance than on our previous attempt -- but through the three weeks of waiting my confidence waned, then LSAC bumped back the "expected" release date until the 5th of January...

What I'm trying to extend here is that I was actually afraid of an email. Which is actually hilarious now that I think of it.

The 92nd Percentile -- welcome to the realm of the academic elite.

So, if you didn't get the mass text message I'd sent out -- or if you're not a friend of mine on Facebook, this is your official notice. Actually, this is pretty well moot -- anyone who would stop by here is either a friend on Facebook or saved in my cellphone...

Anyhow, I was in shock for about a half hour. Then we went out and drank from the Chalice of Champions -- literally it was a neon pink plastic cup scrawled on in pen, but it still felt special.

Went a little deep, ended up going at it until about 4 am, slept three hours on Meg's couch, then came home to nap away half the day -- two days before News Years Eve. I make bad choices, intentionally. =0P

Till next time, be well in all you do.
Cheers,
-Rys

Six Months, 17 Days -- Almost to the Minute.

2008-12-07T02:28:00.002-05:00

That is officially how long i've been ignoring you...

Once more, I speak of you as the collective internet populace.

Three thoughts.

First, Field of Dreams. "If you build it, they will come."

This clever phrase isn't entirely accurate, or for that matter its not generalizable beyond homemade baseball fields and the spirits of ball players.

My website doesn't receive a great deal of traffic. Its understandable, there is no porn available for download here (oddly enough, the internet is full of porn -- no other industry can compete with its market share). While it seems a simple solution, if we're to have any life in public service in the future -- it becomes slightly more complicated.

What I mean to say is I don't receive a lot of traffic. While I did build a site, no one stops by if I never add anything. I haven't updated it in some time, I haven't posted here on the blog in 6.5 months, I don't know that I've even posted photos.

We will perhaps in the near future redesign the site to something more flexible that I can update more quickly, and see if we can't convince people I'm worth keeping tabs on.

Second, Information Control / A Narrow Window Lacking Context:

Those who have little contact or receive little information from me personally, will be forced to rely on the information they can glean from the site. If I read over my site here, i'd think things were not going particularly well for me. That is simply not the case, which leads to my third point.

Third, I Only Come Here to Wallow and Whine / I've Not Got Time For You When Things Are Well.

It seems recent blog posts exemplify and over sample times of confusion and introspection. This post, like the last is being written at 2:30 in the morning -- again, I can't sleep. It's not like this day has been uneventful. Woke up at 6 something this morning, drove an hour out to Kent State University, went big on the LSAT (working from that assumption, won't know until somewhere between Christmas and the New Year), came home, tried to take a nap, ate dinner, went over to Megs, hung out, came home, and now this. Mix a lot of coffee in between almost all of those steps, and it makes a bit more sense.

It seems I only have time to do this when I'm not busy. When I'm busy, I'm happy -- generally. I like to be moving at a million miles a minute, even though I sometimes don't like who I am, when I am. There are so many stories to tell about the things I've done between then and now, the projects I was part of, the incredible people I had the great honor to meet and lead, hundreds upon hundreds of random and sometimes momentary interactions -- which lend a truly rich life the subtle flavoring that separates it from the mundane/uneventful. All these things that I have done, which I've not yet made mention of here.

In the interim, if we fall back on old habits -- assume I'm well. It follow logically -- very concise focus on what follows logically these days, read above: LSAT. If I do invest the time and energy to convert this into a more active hobby, I expect you to come back and check -- I'll be watching.

But, in turn, I don't intend to spend my precious time here whining/wallowing. I came here to invite you to overlook my whining of recent (its a relative term, I mean those posts published most recently) and look forward to my posts in the near future.

Cheers,
-Rys

It's Two AM, Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

2008-05-24T02:23:00.002-04:00

Point of fact, it's actually a lot nearer 2:30, and this most recent cup of coffee most likely wasn't a great idea...

So, I was drunk all of two hours ago. Floating around almost fully conscious, with a good majority of my motor functions in tact. It was the residual effect of sitting through three hours of the longest, saddest and coldest baseball game I've attended in sometime. A little life advice, drinking only makes you feel warmer, you're not actually any warmer the weather just seems a bit more bearable ... but still, drinking makes you feel warmer... try it.

Upon my return home I could've just stumbled up the stairs and fell softly into bed. Well, most likely it'd not been the most graceful descent... I have missed the bed before...

Either way, I chose to stay up. Initially without purpose, I just didn't feel like my day should've ended yet. Thats unfortunately common for me when I feel I'm not achieving enough. Not only do I not like going to bed, dragging myself out of bed in the morning becomes a bit more difficult as well.

Eventually, I found something to sink some time into. Monday was the season finale of House, and I'd missed it because I was looking after the girls alongside my... brother-in-law's brother (i just referenced the vast collective knowledge of the internets... we're officially of no relation; so I'm creating the term double-brother-in-law) Johnny Boy. So, again, to the internets to acquire the two most recent episodes, which shared a story line without the ever ominous cliff hanger "to be continued..."

I'll not ruin it for you, but I will mention it's exceptionally well done, not at all predictable and worthy of the ratings and share it received. While that is a normative statement, I just saw the Nielsen's over on the HuffingtonPost.

Wanted to drag one more subject into this post, since i've essentially said nothing thus far.

I know... something a little over personal and a bit dated at this point in time.

So, about a month back I was standing in Virginia's office (I don't remember the number of her office, she's the political science departmental secretary, and a lovely woman) attempting to RSVP for an event that she didn't invite me to. I was in the wrong place, which is not surprising with what little care I put into reading the award letter. This serves as another knee-jerk reaction of socially instilled forced humility, near the end of my college career I stopped reading award letters... I just glanced upon them and moved on. Not a great example, but it serves as a
clever contrast to what I'm about to put forward next. There I stand in front of Virginia attempting to RSVP to an event the political science department wasn't hosting, it was actually a bit of conflation on my part because a week previous i'd RSVP'd for a different event with her. In doing so, I made her aware that I was aware that I was receiving the departmental award. Virginia, being a wonderful individual, was overjoyed that she could finally show me the small metal tag with my name engraved upon it that was to be mounted in perpetuity on the plaque hanging in her office. I was honored in fact, oddly enough because my name would stand throughout the ages beneath the great SJE (an individual I hold in great reverence).

Wheres the contrast you ask? Well, heres where it gets interesting... sorry for the elongated setup there, it was a necessary evil. The name engraved above SJE belonged to someone i'd previously dated. The truly inane thing is it instantly cheapened the entire honor in my mind. It's important to note that she's found some measure of success, after graduating with her bachelors and her JD no less, but she wasn't quite on the level. Now I don't know if she dumbed herself down in my presence, buying into that socially perpetuated myth that men only like women who don't challenge them intellectually, or if she weren't up to snuff all twenty-four hours of the day.

I just realized these look a lot like the rants and tirades of a scorned ex, so i'll add this important and introspective caveat: I too acted differently in the relationship. This is an aside, feel free to skip past it. One of my greatest problems, especially in relationships -- although it's generalizable beyond the intimate realm, is when I come upon something I truly enjoy I spend too much time and energy attempting to keep it, in turn not experiencing it in full and pretty consistently losing it in turn.

These are the sort of things that come about when I'm left only to my thoughts. I actually found my reaction and disappointment in the award a bit humorous.

It ties back to the concept of comparative measure. Often we measure ourselves in terms of others. A is better than B at C. This is incredibly shallow and myopic. First, our capacity and capability have nothing to do with those around us, they offer only a convenient yardstick for an empty comparison. It's meaningless because it's myopic. No longer do we compete only within our own tribe for the largest share of the day's hunt. Be it local, state, national or global the field is now larger than those within an arm's length.

Not to mention, my greatness has nothing to do with the quantifiable gap between myself and my nearest competition. Hell, it's not even got to be quantified or acknowledged or presented or carved into a plaque for all to see.

It's three AM, i'm tapping out.

One last point to make... Benjamin Franklin agrees with another post of mine from some time ago... the quote "O that moral science were in as fair a way of improvement, that men would cease to be wolves to one another, and that human beings would at length learn what they now improperly call humanity."

Cheers,
-Rys

I Offer This as a Contrast

2008-05-14T15:54:00.002-04:00

To the previous post that is...

I'm hiding in a coffee house. The Phoenix on Mayfield to be more specific. (http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&client=firefox-a&channel=s&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=2qh&q=4441+Mayfield+Rd,+Cleveland,+OH+44121,+USA&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&resnum=1&ct=title)

I'm indulging in my favorite treat of recent, a half mocha / half hot chocolate... Ask real nice, they'll make you one as well. I don't know if it still falls under the category of treat, considering i've been averaging one a day for the past three. Sadly, this has become where I go when I don't want to be home.

I'm stuck in neutral.

And, as much as three days doesn't really seem like cause for concern, it's important we act before it becomes commonplace and we grow complacent with the idea.

"I stand before you today a man humbled by the recent recognition of his own mortality. I've always considered myself both a gentlemen and a scholar, and as these processions come to an end today an important part of my character ends alongside it. Thats right, we walk out of here and i'm going to become an absolute prick... (pause for laughter)"

That there was going to be the opening to my Valedictorian speech. Well, something close to that. I'd run through a couple turns of phrase in the shower leading up to the date, while I was still working under the assumption I was under consideration. Turns out I didn't take the honor and the young woman who was presented such a half hearted presentation my opening line there was superior to the entirety of her remarks. I'm not being boastful, and I don't raise the point just to take a shot at the young woman.Though, I will note, I had a higher GPA. Thats it, enough of that.

The point I was making indirectly there is still valid. I've lost definition. To a surprisingly farther extent than even I had originally assumed. While it is obvious the scholarly half was dependent upon my schooling, I didn't predict the gentlemen part would be as well. I'm at my best when surrounded by people. It was a large part of why I enjoyed college so much. Even the tiny, quaint, and possibly even pointless half moment interactions really made my day.

This is beginning to look a lot like drivel, so lets get back on point.

I need to start making some very large decisions that should've been made some time ago.

I thought I had a plan... alright, it atleast sounded like a plan as I repeated it over and over ad nauseum to the query "whats next?" Actually, one of the highlights of my evening was the singular deviation from the seemingly prepared remarks. I told someone, almost literally "i'll not lie to you like the rest of these people, i'm going to sell out, make that money, and live large..." and, I almost said it with a straight face as well.

So, back to the assumed plan: Yesterday, I made good on my promise of calling the head of the O'Neill campaign... He's running for the 14th district House Seat here in Ohio, if the name sounds familiar it's because he's currently the 11th district judge and he was on the ballot for the state supreme court in 04 and 06. BTW, if you were counting, we've still got 9 republicans on the OSC. While the call was short lived, I could barely breath. The weight of it all was apparent from the first ring. They're not yet really "actively campaigning." Which I could've / should've just assumed. As well, the only paid position they were hiring for was a Finance Director (FEC compliance, etc...) a position I was obviously under qualified for. It's not that it didn't go well, it simply drew out the time line... or fell short of the ideal... how ever you'd like to think of it. So, we stand in a holding pattern, 4-6 weeks, until the really ground game gets going, etc...

But, the point being, it's seemed to amplify my doubt with the standing plan. With way too much time to think, i'm starting to question my path. Not to mention, alternative options have been raised. I do like the Masters of Political Management program, it sounds spot on for what i'm looking to do. Not to mention, it's in heart of it all, and you can't beat the exposure / placement. But, Saturday, it appeared there is a small but growing consensus between people I trust dearly that Law School might be a reasonable option for me as well. Then, earlier today Nino raised the specter of Akron's Bliss Instititute's dual JD/Applied politics degree.

So, thats where I stand. Which is really no where definite. Not to mention theres the nagging want for materialistic things and the fact that i've not been employeed for a year now. All spurious but important factors weighing down upon me.

We'll continue this at some other point, some other time, when I don't feel like "that guy" sitting in a coffee house huddled behind a tiny laptop.

Be good to one another, and as always...

Cheers,
-Rys

It's All Happening...

2008-05-10T11:21:00.003-04:00

I've got 10 minutes, and this is how I'm spending them... be grateful.

In only ten minutes, i'll leave here and enter the real world... whatever that means these days.

Going to graduate today.

I'm three days heavy of 26, and for the first time in some time I didn't resent my lack of success on my birthday.

It's all happening, and I'm more ready then I've ever been to meet the challenge.

Be good,
Cheers,
-Rys

Your Invitation to the Trifecta Celebration!!!

2008-05-07T11:02:00.002-04:00

If you've not received one in person, through email, or through facebook... this is it.

The Craziest Thing Just Happened To Me

2008-05-07T00:48:00.002-04:00

I just received a series of emails...

That's not all that unique an occurrence.

Whats really crazy about it is that I just realized it was my birthday because other people were wishing me well on my Facebook wall.

Thats how busy i've been.

Cheers,
-Rys

So It Seems Someone Else Thinks I'm Special As Well...

2008-04-11T15:45:00.004-04:00

So, yeah... I don't know how to introduce this without seeming egoistic and self-indulging...

In the most neutral language possible. In returning from class this afternoon, I found a letter from Cleveland State on my desk.

This is said letter:

There it is ladies and gentlemen, my perfect excuse to buy a new suit.

Cheers and good luck to you all,
-Rys

It's Far Too Beautiful Day To Be Stuck Behind a Monitor

2008-03-31T15:26:00.002-04:00

For that very reason, I offer this only to allude to what i'm withholding...

Had recently added a concept to the collection of those I regularly mentally mull over this weekend, which isn't all that indistinct from one I had with one of you all some years ago.

I was going to spend an hour or so fleshing it out here in 4,000 words or less... But, it's really nice outside.

Since I've been waiting for a nice day to stain my table, I can't miss this opportunity...

Cheers,
-Rys

Something a Little Shallower & More Self-Aggrandizing

2008-03-27T09:59:00.003-04:00

Yeah... Cause my ego really needs one more boost...

Leading up to the Nomination Reform Competition my team had briefly floated the idea of getting some some of hand out printed for the poster session. Unfortunately, while a good idea, it came a little late for the requisite minimum printing time.

The day of the competition itself I had the great honor of interacting with a good two hundred students and faculty and organizers, some of which I would of liked to been able to keep in touch with. Networking in it's most basic sense.

So a day or two ago, I decided I was going to get a business card printed up. If you've learned anything from me in our time together here, it's that I don't short change anything. Anything worth doing, is worth doing well. As well, I'm not going to put forward a business card that's classic black lettering on a pasty white background... it's just not me.

Here today, I'm leaking what could be considered a preview of my new card design. I blocked out my cell phone number, if I want you to have it... I'll hand you a card. Pretty sure I still have to design a backing to the card, but most likely I will just put another favorite quote or two...

Cheers,
-Rys

p.s.- I'm pretty sure you can click to enlarge the image.

p.s.s.- The gray border isn't real, it's the "bleed" area... Although, it does have a certain appeal to it...

In the Unending Dichotomy Between Comedy and Tragedy...

2008-03-22T16:03:00.002-04:00

I rather be smiling...

So, yesterday was perhaps one of the best selections of seminar readings I've experienced all semester. That being said, it's important to note that I didn't read them until today.

In an attempt to dismiss a truly rare academic shortcoming, I'd like to note we'd fallen a bit behind in the readings. It's genuinely both no one and everyone's fault. An odd combination of pseudo-holidays (I'm sorry to the Irish of the world... I don't hold St. Patty's Day in the highest regard) and extreme and extraordinary harsh winter weather.

That being said, we were assigned (I don't know how I missed this, considering I was present and taking notes and all) to read two days of the syllabus to catch up. The great irony in this is that the room fell silent in discussion. Unfortunately, this isn't all that vast a contrast to the average class period, but at an absolute minimum there are (including me) about 3-4 people who actively participate in the discussion. They're not historic discussion, we don't unearth some timeless truth, but they're of great merit and value in attempting to discern the validity and value of the readings.

So, back to where we started, I read them today.

The first selection was from Kevin MacDonald, who I'm not all that personally fond of at the moment. For reference it was; The Culture of Critique Ch. 2, The Boasian School of Anthropology and the Decline of Darwinism in the Social Sciences. I'd include a link to Amazon, but again I'm not particularly happy with Mr. MacDonald at the moment.

I'll be the first to admit that this is the most basic example of cognitive dissonance. Initially, I had trouble with MacDonald because he's rallying against Boas and his disciples in their work towards the basic equity of all humans. Or, for that matter, their advancement of an academic contrast to eugenics. Because I disagreed with his premise, that natural psychological road block constructed itself in an attempt to disapprove of his tactics... in turn easing the process of disagreeing with his arguments.

So, instead of attempting to rally against his arguments or disprove his assertions (because I don't possess the adequate proficiency or mastery of subject) I instead attacked his line of attack. Falling victim to the same shortcomings I accuse him of doing. It seems he spends all his time castigating his perceived nemesis, accusing them of more scholarship than science while doing the exact same thing himself.

So, you know, bugger him. And, not just for disagreeing with a concept I hold dearly, but for doing so in a process that can best be described as "Academic Assassination." (I'm going to pretend I coined that phrase... scratch that, just google'd it... 398,000 hits on the massive interwebs)

Either way, onto the point of this post... (fuggin finally, i'm not known for my concise style -- for obvious reasons)

The second reading (there's actually three, but i'm distracting myself with this post at the moment) was an article from the Atlantic Monthly (April, 1998) named "The Biological Basis of Morality" by Edward O. Wilson (Short Bio from the Atlantic Monthly: Edward O. Wilson is the Pellegrino University Research Professor and Honorary Curator in Entomology at Harvard University).

This is the link (you really should read it, it's relatively short) -- http://www.theatlantic.com/issues/98apr/biomoral.htm

It's an incredible article and in reading it I felt a lot like I did when I first read Nietzsche's Genealogy of Morality. It seemed to draw together various loose conceptions i'd held/invented/absorbed overtime, tying them together masterfully into a straightforward argument. I'll not rob you of the cathartic experience of reading it for yourself (not to mention I doubt I'd be able to really do it justice, and most likely just shade or taint your expectations) nor in any way enable you to skip the genuine experience for the false idol I'd inevitably put forward.

Wow, through a bit of lofty rhetoric I elevated that article quite a bit... These things happen.

Either way, it was the conclusion that left me in a sort of introspective tailspin. Dr. Wilson concludes as follows; "The eventual result of the competition between the two world views, I believe, will be the secularization of the human epic and of religion itself. However the process plays out, it demands open discussion and unwavering intellectual rigor in an atmosphere of mutual respect."

If ever there were three things lacking from the discussion of religion and moral principles/precepts they'd be: Open Discussion, Unwavering Intellectual Rigor and an Atmosphere of Mutual Respect. This of course, got me thinking. The inevitability of conflict born out of absolute and unwavering beliefs troubles me.

Of course I began to think of the disdain I hold personally for the "pathologically religious" (which I was about to attribute to Keith Olbermann, until I google'd it, and it tied back to Freud -- the unexpected irony of which is striking considering the MacDonald piece). Basically, think Evangelical Christians or Islamic Extremists (that equivocation there will haunt me professionally if later discovered -- in humorous contrast to the other 60,000 words covering my personal deviance in regards to drinking and drugs and what not expounded upon here).

Then my thoughts turned to existence itself (as we conceive of it). I remember back when I was 12 or so, I began to consider what happened after death. I can remember the countless restless hours lost to thoughts of non-existence. It's a disturbing and frightful concept, even thinking of it now sends the slightest of shivers down my spine. As a thought exercise, take everything you know and love of your existence currently, and invert it... It always frightened me much more than any concept of hell, at least hell was something, somewhere, no matter how unpleasant... it was at least something.

Then somehow (really, if you could climb in my mind with me... its a bit scatter shot at times) my thoughts turned to Jed Bartlett, yes... the fictional President presiding over the liberal utopia known as "The West Wing" (best show ever, "forever ever, forever ever ever", by the way). In my mind he embodies some how the compromise of tolerance I could be content with. I'm going to flub this quote here (not even the ever powerful googles can track it down) but, its something along the lines of this paraphrase... "My christianity works for me Tobias." A little context is required to make that meaningful, to set the scene: Toby (communications director and part time antagonist of President Bartlett) was worried about telling the president that his ex-wife was pregnant with their twins, because he thought his christian morals would be disapproving of such an occurance (two things, yes, I intentionally didn't capitalize that twice over -- to the dismay of the spell checker built into Firefox -- and, I believe occurance is a word).

Basically, I think of the religious in the same way a good deal of the religious think of homosexuals. They're content to allow it to happen if they don't have to be inconvenienced by the public display of it. Giving birth to such lines as "what two consenting adults do in their own home is no business of mine," (which is a bit crap by the way considering how they'd equally be happy to allow spousal/child abuse by the same logic).

Either way, I was pacing about anxious and unsure... disturbed by the uncertainty and seemingly irrevocable nature of the topic (it might have been exacerbated by the level of caffeine flowing through my veins, matched only by the lack of food, and the length of time since my last cigarette). But, I was unsettled and worried for a moment that this concept might consume my mind for well too long today.

But I found refuge in timeless irreverence.

Monty Python Sings.

Which is both a declarative statement and the name of an album from the early nineties, containing what could charitably be described as the greatest hits of the Monty Python troop. If you don't know who / what I'm talking about, please leave (seriously, yesterday I came to discover not nearly as many people as I'd previously assumed had seen Reservoir Dogs -- and I can't bare your insolence/ignorance any further). (Wow, that was an elitist aside, no?)

But, as the title/sub-title contends... In the Unending Dichotomy Between Comedy and Tragedy... I'd rather be smiling...

So, I qued up the timeless classics "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" / "Galaxy Song" / "Lumberjack Song" / "Penis Song" / "Money Song" / "Accountancy Shanty" / "Every Sperm is Sacred" / "Eric the Half a Bee" / "Meaning of Life" / "Henry Kissinger" worked out a bit... then put this together.

Cheers and good luck to you all,
-Rys

p.s. - I'm using post to bury my last post. If you haven't read it yet, feel free to skip over it.

Mostly I'm Tired of People Being Ugly to Each Other

2008-03-19T16:39:00.008-04:00

Again, I'm cribbing a quote to make a point, this time with video...

First, of course (Of-course fucking of-course. I wasn't asking, I was telling-- Bricktop "Snatch")... the obligatory drivel: If you're observant enough to consider time and date stamps on my posts, it's been a while. In fact, you missed all the dreary and uneventful details of my Spring Break. I've come to realize the more visceral details of memories fade the fastest. Therefore, I'm trying to put this post together now...

That being said, I've had an odd day.
Stumbled upon an interesting first today, that at first didn't seem all that unique. Only after a little introspection there after did I realize it was in fact a first.

Was sitting in Public Policy class today, and we were receiving a lecture on decision making. Nothing all that interesting or unique yet, we're getting there... building context...

Turro, (Turro is a good cat, a little older, but I'm pretty sure he's active/connected in the Ohio Democratic party, and offers a varied perspective... I don't want to assume a man's age, but he might be a P60 student, and I think I've expressed my high regard for them here previously.) raised a scenario he'd phrased as 'hyper-avoidance' where in an official puts off/ignores a problem then rushes through the decision making when called on their inaction. This leads to Dr. Sneed putting forward an example involving "The MOVE Organization."

Now, oddly enough, I was previously unaware of MOVE. Which is surprising to me personally, in the fact that I have soft spot in my heart for injustice. It's worth mentioning that details surrounding this incident are unclear, especially depending upon one's perspective/side. But, the details presented in class today culminated with the fact that the Mayor of Philadelphia (Mayor W. Wilson Goode)(and a very small, and intentionally selected group of individuals) decided to lay siege to their compound (in the middle of a series of "row houses").

And, lay siege they did. We're not talking about a tactical assault, (which concerns itself with the wellbeing of individuals and the preservation of life, even though we're all against criminals and extremists -- they still deserve the rights and protections of our criminal justice system) we're talking about laying siege, as we did in the age of empires. They attempted to force them out by flooding the building with fire hoses. When that didn't work, they decided to drop explosives on the roof of the building. It's not quite the molten oil/lead of the days of old, but it did just as well to burn down 52 houses in the surrounding area. It's important to note here that the half dozen children (most too young to even understand what was transpiring around them) inside the building had in fact drowned to death.

This hit me like a ton of bricks. This was 1985 in the United States of America. In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania... The City of Brotherly Love, one of the birthplaces of American democracy...

I was, at first, incredulous that the plan involved fire hoses and explosives. But, that was in turn sort of the moral of the story... The dangers of rushing decisions, excluding knowledgeable individuals, etc...

It took me a little longer to draw the appropriate contrast, which was even more devastating. I eventually thought of those British troops that refused to fire upon Ghandi and his followers. Yes, I realize that the situations were drastically different... Ghandi and his followers insisted upon non-violent resistance, and John Africa and his followers had amassed weapons and held themselves in a row house retrofitted into a bunker reinforced with steel. That being said, we're contrasting India in 1930 verses the United States in 1985.

It was all just too much. The class moved on after a prolonged debate on the topic, and the lecture continued... I actually raised my hand, before taking a moment to consider that what I was about to put forward was in whole simply spiteful and cynical, dismissively and silently waved off the concept of my participation in the debate... waited thirty seconds or so, and walked out of the classroom.

This was the first time I ever actually walked out of a class, at least with the intention to step outside for a ciggi and a moment to recenter myself. Came close once, after watching the documentary on Rwanda last semester, but fortunately class had ended almost directly after finishing it.

"God is in the Rain" Evey Hammond -- V for Vendetta. I'll not include the context alongside the quote, but rather suggest you go track down a copy of V for Vendetta yourself (personal favorite).

Fortunately, for me, it happened to be raining when I stepped outside. It was cold and sharp and refreshing, exactly what I needed it to be at the moment. So, I paced around a few moments and had a cigarette, calmed down a bit and found my center again... It was exactly what I needed it to be. It took all of three minutes, and didn't serve as much of a spectacle to those third parties that might have been looking on. In fact, beyond the spatter of rain upon my clothing no one would've been the wiser upon my return.

And that was that... Now, on to the title of this post. (and, the promised video... please excuse the formating... I blame Blogger and YouTube)

The line is actually from "The Green Mile." It's worth noting that this was one of the only movies I actually saw, then went back and read the book, then went back and read the screenplay. I don't know where the misconception began, but I don't like reading. I read that which is assigned to me, but I don't read for leisure. In reading the novel / screenplay, I came to discover why it's not a great idea. The novel and screenplay/movie are significantly different, in important ways.

Beyond that, this is a concept I've been mulling over for a few years now:

I can't conceive why we treat each other so poorly.

There is just so much unfounded hatred in the world. I know that seems like a baseless and blanket statement, just one of the most recent manifestations of my inability to repress my idealism, but give it a moments thought.

Really, consider for a moment why we choose to treat strangers like competitors? Where does this rampant distrust stem from? Is it really just a race to hoard all the scarce resources we can? And if so, to what end? He who dies with the most toys, still dies.

This actually comes to tie into one of my newest favorite quotes... "Why are we kind? Not because we expect the kindness of others in turn, but because we believe the world needs more kindness..."

You can see how this concept would culminate into the forefront with today's discussion, and force me to step away a moment. I can't say it feels like shards of glass in my skull (watch the video if you don't understand the reference), but someone squeezing my heart.

It's worth noting that today is the five year anniversary of the War in Iraq, and I'm sure somewhere, someone is celebrating... Perhaps the boardroom of KBR or Lockheed Martin? More to the point at hand, today on the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com) their homepage of course featured the anniversary, and included various statistics:

Almost 4,000 dead American soldiers (i'm sure that excludes contractors, both mercenary and otherwise), 25,000+ injured (we're not talking bumps and bruises here, we're talking debilitating and serious injuries) and finally, 2,100 suicide attempts by troops after returning home. And, that's just "us."

But, what I find more irksome is the remainder of the statistics:

4.5 million (4,500,000) refugees created by the Iraq war. Imagine if a civil war was installed in the middle of Alabama (a state whose population just happens to be 4.5 million), and the violence caused the entire population to flood outwardly from the state. I don't pretend the situation is analogous, but its close enough for my purposes. Not to mention extremist groups have been classically most successful in recruiting new members from areas of transient populations. Such as refugee camps set up on the borders of neighboring countries...

82,000-89,000 Iraqis killed. Those are the numbers from the Iraqi Coroners, the same coroners who received political pressure to stop counting, which are most likely soft numbers. The estimates from "independent organizations" (those lacking political/military influence) put the count closer to a half million. Perhaps it's better to expound upon that a bit... 500,000 ...

500,000 men, women and children. Children who'd done nothing but come up on the wrong side of the dice roll of universal proportions that decided they were to be born there and then.

This is the ugliness of which I speak.

I don't know what it is inside of us that lets us draw some arbitrary distinction between them and us... Because they happen to live half a planet away? Because their skin is slightly darker than ours? Because they happen to believe in a different god?

How is their suffering not our suffering? How is the death of an Iraqi child less devastating than the death of a lily white farmer's daughter from the Midwest? One certainly receives a disproportionate amount of news coverage.

But, no one enjoys this darkness. No one has the time to shed a tear for their lives, we'd spend our days and weeks and years crying. Perhaps it's that same survival instinct that turns strangers to competitors that turns our heart cold to human suffering.

Either way, as promised, the video:

Till next time,
Cheers and good luck,
-Rys

p.s.- This post got a little long and convoluted, but as I said, it's been a weird day.

It's Been Said ... That All Men Lead Lives of Quiet Desperation...

2008-03-01T14:38:00.002-05:00

The epic and eternal struggle of the individual against the collective...

Towards a bit of house keeping, this is in fact my second post in as many hours. Or, at least it's begun within that time frame... Considering it's been weeks since my last post and months since the last time I put something forward of any substance. I'll cede the fact that I'm not known for my consistency.

Beyond the obligatory drivel, here we go.

I understand the necessity of the tenuous and on going struggle that exists between the impulses and wants of the individual and the peacefulness and well being of society as a whole. If everyone did only what was in their interest, the collective has to deal with the unforeseen externalities. There is an underlying pragmatism to the tacit understanding between the individual and the whole. But, it is in turn a spectrum, and a malleable spectrum at that.

Adam Smith was wrong, by the way. While what he put forward in the wealth of nations was impressive and he deserves a great deal of credit for his ideas, he was a bit short sighted. I can't really fault him considering his place in time... How could anyone really predict where we've lead ourselves?

I make a conscious and constant effort to be aware of others, and consider them and the way my actions would indirectly affect them. I feel a good majority of individuals in our society lack an awareness of the whole, and that to me is a problem. I don't remember this rampant lack of consideration by others in the 90s. Perhaps times were better economically, and people were happier in general... or perhaps it's larger than that. Perhaps in fact the stand up comic in my mind hijacked the stage and filibustered his way through my free time, leaving the philosopher little recourse but to go dormant. Even better, perhaps it's not just policy that's lead top down, but culture as well. Perhaps the laissez faire and zero sum mentality of leadership here in the states has transfered and superimposed itself upon the citizenry. Leaving them believing that their fellow citizen were only competition for scarce resources and not kin trying to survive the same struggles in life. The lack of shared empathy... we've sold our sense of community for a leg up.

Back to the point at hand. And time for a quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson. If you like the paragraph, you’ll love the book...! (AMAZON.COM)
^^That's right, it's so good i'm shamelessly plugging it.^^

While this quote appears on my facebook page (http://csuohio.facebook.com/profile.php?id=53703330)

I'd made an effort to scrub God from it, which I think honestly detracts from the quote itself... therefore I offer it to you here in full.

I'd like to draw attention to a few very distinct parts. First, "We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" This is where my struggle begins. This is, at least in my mind, a quaint allusion to Nietzsche's "Slave Revolt in Morality" (see the previous post, and my apologies again for quoting the big N). For a little context, I'll offer a vast oversimplification of the concept for our purposes here. Basically, the priests convinced those of the noble morality to resent all those virtues they held to be good and proud, and told them they were the evils of man. In turn, it inverted the paradigm of power, enabling the priests to usurp the nobles.

I'll be the first to admit, and often you'll hear me say "I'm a bit of an ass." And, while it serves the purpose of being charming through a bit of self-deprecation... I often wonder if it is in itself a betrayal of self in the most basic sense? By the way, as effete and pretentious as I often appear and act, I've not used the terms "gorgeous" or "fabulous" to describe myself... ever.

Secondly, "Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do." The tail end of that quote is more powerful and pertinent than it ever were previously. Every day I have the great honor and pleasure of experiencing first hand my darling nieces discovering all that is wondrous and amazing about their little limited worlds. Even though at this point in time they can't wrap their developing minds around the concept of "pride" (theres a good chance CQ can't even speak the word yet) I believe they can and do receive the rush of emotion as our eyes gleam with amazement at the most recent challenge they've bested. Towards the first half of the quote, part of me has never completely forgiven myself for my feigned ignorance in high school. I wasn't the man I am now, and I dumbed myself down... because "going along to get along" is one of the most basic survival tools. Again, a massive betrayal of self, and it in turn wasted years of my life.

Finally, "It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." There it is ladies and gents. An automatic excuse built in, removing culpability instantly when we allow the spectrum to slide a little farther than we possibly should. It has sort of a "blame the victim" feel about it. Furthermore, i imagine those that do live by this creed find themselves alone and disdained. Which ever literary reference you prefer... "Primus Inter Pares" (first among equals) or "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others" (Orwell, Animal Farm ... pretty sure i've never actually read it). It both supports and defies my egalitarian perspective.

I've got to bring this to a close, because it's already occupied more time than I ever intended to allot it. I love most those people who love me exactly for who I am. Those who are aware and appreciative of this enormous internal struggle between what I could be and what others would be more comfortable with. And so, like time itself, the struggle continues.

Perhaps it's because I believe in the great unknown that connects every individual together, beyond the concept of society & social contract, that I have faith that everyone struggles with this conundrum from time to time. I just wish the stand up comic would fight for a little more time on the stage, cause the philosopher in my mind is generating a little too much doubt today.

Cheers and good luck to all of you,
-Rys

p.s.- This isn't about you, at least not entirely... I'll credit you with inspiration... Hows that for nuance?

I Quoted Nietzsche More Than Three Times In One Day

2008-03-01T12:46:00.004-05:00

I'm pretty sure theres a rule against that... or at least there should be...

Oddly enough, they weren't negative references either.

Well, perhaps one was used to deride the priests for convincing those of the noble morality everything that was great about themselves was to be resented as evil.

It's important to put forward the context in which that was used. Simply because it's not something that finds its way into an everyday conversation naturally. Thats not to say that this was your run of the mill banter between two strangers just waiting for the other to stop talking so they can begin again... This was something else entirely. But, the reference itself was used to defend my ego, or my constant struggle verse what I believe the appropriate expression of pride and vanity in contrast to that which society deems acceptable.

In reality, this post isn't about Nietzsche... This post is a space filler and an opportunity to begin building a better habit.

I've come to recognize and accept that in the not so distant future I'll be a couple hundred miles from almost everyone I know and love, and it'd be appropriate to let them collectively know I'm living the dream.

Cheers and good luck to you all,
-Rys

* New Gadget Alert *

2008-02-18T22:34:00.004-05:00

Yes, every once in a great while I actually buy something for myself.

I've been in the market for a laptop for some time now.

I wasn't looking to spend a great deal of money. (I'm not cheap, i'm frugal)

And, I was looking for two very key things: Size and Weight.

Came to discover the 9 inch, 2 lbs wonder known as the Asus EEE PC.

Decided to go with the 4G model from NewEgg.com: http://www.newegg.com/product/product.aspx?Item=N82E16834220246

Quick overview of the specs:

General
Color	Black
Operating System	Linux
CPU Type	Intel Mobile CPU
Screen	7" WVGA
Memory Size	512MB DDR2
Hard Disk	4GB Solid-State Disk
Graphics Card	Intel UMA
Video Memory	shared memory
Battery Life	3.5 hours
Dimensions	8.86" x 6.30" x 0.79-1.26"
Weight	2.0 lbs.

Then, wanted to supplement the RAM a bit, so I picked up: http://www.newegg.com/product/product.aspx?Item=N82E16820134513

Decided to include a YouTube tutorial video, it's all of 38 seconds (just to highlight how ridiculously easy it is to do): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_7ZZxb_q1g

Finally, I've provided an artist's rendition of what it'll look like with the custom printed piece of vinyl installed across the back of the lid.

Cheers,
-Rys

Those Who Know Me Best, Understand The Extreme Underlying Irony and Contrast

2008-02-14T13:11:00.002-05:00

A small highlight of an incredible day...

It is important to note that sometimes I fall victim to assorting individuals by their ideology.

With all the rather hateful and seriously disagreeable things i've seen and heard Bay Buchanan say in the past, it's not unexpected that i'd place her on the other end of the spectrum.

That being said, I have to note that she was incredibly kind to me and genuinely interested in my plans for the future.

Cheers,
-Rys4k

p.s.- I don't believe that anyone I met at the event yesterday will be able to track me down or find their way here, but if they happen to... Let me take a moment to express how great it was to meet and compete with the lot of you.

A Kingmaker Update

2008-02-12T11:02:00.000-05:00

These are the contests that have been scored thus far on Kingmaker.

Super Tuesday Points haven't come in yet, but I await with baited breath.

Cheers,
-Rys

I'm Treating It Like My Own Personal Secular Christmas

2008-01-02T12:00:00.001-05:00

Thats how much I love professional politics...
And, I've finalized my caucus predictions:
If you're not yet playing:
http://kingmaker.politico.com/
Make your bones politically by predicting the primaries.
Cheers,
-Rys

Grades Are In Again.

2007-12-19T11:45:00.000-05:00

Some how, the way they trickled in over the last few days, it's more of a whimper than a bang...

Actually been updating the site the last couple of days, there are a lot less blank pages...

Thats all.

-Rys

New Photos Posted...

2007-11-12T23:46:00.001-05:00

Too lazy to actually post, i'll mention that though.

Cheers,
-Ry$4k

p.s.- The collective lot of you are bastards... i've not got a single comment to moderate.

This is Me, Reveling...

2007-10-29T14:01:00.000-04:00

But... we can't be reveling in our recent victories, because new demands are looming right around the corner.

I've alloted all of a lunch hour for this very purpose, left overs from last night (btw).

So, as often as i've been suggesting it recently... my midterm season has finally officially ended.

Today, I received back my final midterm grade and that chapter is officially complete.

Believe me, I've let go of the illusions that the first half is the more difficult half of a semester. I was reminded today that it is in fact the most expensive part. I received a bill from my creditor reminding me that i've still not paid off in full the cost of my books for this semester.

But, again, today I received the last of my midterms back. It was supposed to be returned to me on Friday, but I was down in the mighty C-Bus enjoying the great Barack Obama live and in person. (On an aside, Firefox is convinced both Barack and Obama are misspelled.) Pictures to be posted in the near future.

Again, back to the topic at hand. This is me, in an ever self-aggrandizing manner, reveling in my recent academic successes.

So, onto the numbers:

PSC317 - Political Parties & Elections : Outstanding A+ (I'll safely assume that means 100%)
PSC318 - The Presidency & Congress : 31/25 (125%, by the way)
PSC329 - Politics of the European Union: 47/50 & 48/50 = 95/100 (not bad for stating "Each member state appoints a judge to the courts for a sex year renewable term." Lovely lovely typos.)
PSC331 - United States Foreign Policy : 100/100 (100% for those not mathematically inclined.)
SOC260 - Deviance in the United States : 104% (I break scales.)

They'll all be added to the closet door soon enough... But, today i've not got anymore time to spend congratulating myself. (By the way, i'll post a picture of that sometime soon)

Till next time,
-Ry$4k

A Continuation of the Sunday Tradition...

2007-10-14T20:57:00.000-04:00

If only to emphasize why it failed in the first place.

So, it's Sunday evening, and i'm taking a moment to talk to you. The collective "you", who are ever gracious that the royal "we" share these fragments of that with you. Wow, i'm an ass.

Either way. It's Sunday night, and i'm adding to the blog. Victory is mine, in part.

I actually came to explain why i'd failed at the Sunday tradition in the first place. I've simply not got time for you baby. There are more pressing issues in my life than documenting private thoughts that will most likely only be used against me in the future. (Lay off my nuts NSA, or... please be gentle in the vetting process, i chafe.)

Back to the matter at hand, basically, i've spent all day studying. Well, studying and napping as it were. I'm only good for about 4-5 hours of work on caffeine alone, and abused the fragile balance to such an extent that even lunch couldn't save me.

On that note, i've got to get back to it. With class in less than 11 hours, theres supposed to be some sleep mixed in there eventually.

Till the next time I extend the olive branch,
-Ry$4k

p.s.- This is where you say thank you.

I No Longer Trust Numbers...

2007-10-14T20:40:00.000-04:00

Thats the sort of statement that needs to be modified to not be received as purely sarcastic or simply ridiculous...

And modified it shall be; in reference to clothing, I no longer trust numbers.

It seems so simple a concept, use a measure of inches to represent the size of an article of clothing. I imagine at one point in time, they used to be actual objective measures of distance. A circumference of a waist band, or the measure from the crouch to the cuff.

On a side note, why hasn't anyone ever created and presented a third measure in mens clothing? Which could only be deemed the "drop"... The measure between the waistband and the crouch of the pants. All the blessed men amongst us know why that's a valid question...

But, I regress. In a general sense, i'm not the sort that appreciates absolutes. For the most part, I loathe them. I'm a man who understands the necessity of subtle nuance, but in this regard it doesn't serve us in the pragmatic sense. As men's clothing has become more and more stylized over time (read; effeminate) the previous paradigm of the inch has faded from glory.

Again, an aside, whens the last time you saw pants that weren't an even measurement? Seriously, do all men skip right past the 33" mark from crouch to cuff? Is it part of that awkward highschool growth spurt? Where we only grow in even denominations?

I blame society. Not just for the pressures and the more modern evolution of men's fashion, but it's disdain for uncouthness. Because I believe so deeply in freedom and society's obsession with cleanliness, i'm unable to try on pants before purchasing for the most part... Alright, that reference is slightly too obscure to make any sense to most (thats right, all 12 people that frequent this drivel). The freedom allusion is a soon to be unveiled reference to the fact that I don't wear underwear (go ahead, take a moment to revel in that). The point of course being, often by relying on the numeric system we've so exceptionally internalized, more often than not pants that I purchase don't fit as reliably as i'd like them to. I own about a half dozen pairs of jeans, all of which are purported to measure 34X34 inches, some made by the same manufacturer, and none of them fit the same.

Personally, I'm not particularly fond of the homogenized "McWorld" model in which the double cheeseburger of New York is the same as the one in Dubai or Columbus or San Fransico (I hear San Fran's has extra special "secret sauce") <-- inappropriate slighted reference to the west coast gay community, by the way. I understand the base concept, in branding and consistency, but I also loathe the lack of nuance. Which is a clever way to tie this all together and offer me an exit from it at the same time...

Cheers,
-Ry$4k

Eat, Drink and Be Merry...

2007-10-08T23:08:00.000-04:00

I had a really nice evening...
Consider this evidence to be used against me later...

One Last Smoke Always Seems Like A Good Idea...

2007-10-04T00:05:00.000-04:00

But, it rarely ever ends up that way.

Wow, It's Friggin Early

2007-08-27T06:47:00.000-04:00

Well boys and girls, it's 6:45, i've been up for 15 minutes, and already I'm ready for bed...

Good lord, i've not been up this early in a while.

Really didn't sleep last night, more so just a series of short naps strung together through out the evening. Giddy like a school girl for this morning's events.

Coffee should be ready.

TTYL,
-Ry$4k

Date of Last Post: October 22nd, 2006 : Premise of Last Post: Posting More Regularly

2007-05-31T14:43:00.000-04:00

Well, I've sold larger lies...

That being said, my dearest apologies.

We'll post more often, now that this appears on my website.

Cheers,
-Ry$4k

Lets Us Begin a Brand New Sunday Tradition...

2006-10-22T22:58:00.000-04:00

A.K.A. - Sorry i've been neglecting you...

So, yeah, my apologies. I've not written in sometime.

Actually, as I look back upon my most recent posts, you've had no idea what I've been up to.

I go through this little quandry everytime I consider a post. What is an appropriate level of information in regards to what I consider my private life? Especially considering I've been making these words more and more public recently. We'll address that in but a moment though, I'm pretty sure i've already decided what to share, and what not to.

This then, shall be the new Sunday tradition. Sometime after family dinner, we'll take a moment, more like an hour for that matter, to recap my personal thoughts and experiences from the week. Pretty simple concept, let's see how faithful I can stay to said intent.

I'd start back at Monday of last week, but for the most part, the week itself were rather mundane. Well, actually, that's really not true. Lou came mighty close to falling victim to a crime, someone decided to break into the studio, and tried to rip the new 32" LCD TV off the wall.

Let me start by saying my opinion on national security, as my opinion on personal security remains unchanged. No matter what we spend, or what measures we take to try to assure our own personal security those who are intent on doing us harm will find a way to do so. So, the hours we'd wasted the day after, bolting closed windows, cutting back bushes, etc etc etc will in reality, not actually prevent any future crime from occuring.

There is just a bit of humor in the whole ordeal. While the 32" LCD only weighed in at about 45 pounds, we'd affixed it to the wall in such a matter, that the assailant was litterally putting his fist through the drywall surrounding the mount trying to rip it loose. This not only made Lou aware the crime was being committed, but allowed him to confront the assailant, and call the authorities. So, here's to doing the job right.

So, on to our weekend then.

Friday: Got a call from B somewhere about 8:30. He told me he intended to head up to Mary's Tavern, which is another in a string of dive bars in the seemingly infinite string that Euclid has to offer. I didn't find my way up there until almost 10:30. B was already pretty well lit, he was there with Ashdown and Bailey, both of which i'd not seen in some time. Good times were had by all. We went pretty deep that evening. I didn't get home until 3 am or so, but I was holding strong. Didn't catch that many hours of sleep either, was up by 10 or so Saturday.

Saturday: The mission of the day: Find a grey, v-neck sweater, with an unfinished bottom. Doesn't seem all that daunting a task at first glance, but a dozen retailers and 4 or 5 hours later, it proved to be just that. Ended up giving up on the idea, still been sifting through what EBay has to offer, but generally i'd really prefer to avoid Cashmere, not just because of price, but care as well. Found a rather nice Stacey Adam's black dress shirt, french cuffed, and a new blazer, corduroy, sort of a brownish red, and actually a new Kenneth Cole leather messenger bag, which'll replace my current bag.
This is all pre-text of course, I don't usually take this sort of time and concern in shopping. More often then not, i'll just stumble across something I think i'd look good in, and acquire when possible. But, Saturday evening, we'd signed ourselves up for disaster. It all started on Thursday. Which again comes to suggest that my week in itself weren't as mundane as i'd suggested. Either way, i'm waiting on some Chinese, and I decide to drop Amey a text.

An Aside: That's offically the first mention of Amey here, which is rediculous, considering... Remember in grade school, when on the first day of the new school year, you were hounded by your teacher to express how'd you spent your summer? Well, this past summer I spent a good deal of time with Amey. To incredulously oversimplify it: I had a great time, and unfortunately it had to end. That's a crap rundown, but that's where i'm leaving it at the moment.

And, we're back. So, I decided to drop Amey a line, because i'd not contacted her since i'd run into her finally on campus. Just a very casual, hey how ya holding up sort of message. And, in turn, i'm invited to an event she's hosting on Saturday. A party / fund raiser for the Women's Lawyer Club or something. This was most likely a bad move on my part. Not the message in itself, but agreeing to attend. It did in turn end generate a four or five hour shopping spree, which didn't net all that much. But, in reality, I went into the situation with a singular intent. Simply express a single concept to her. Seems so easy, no?

So, it's Saturday, about 7:30, B grabs me from my place, and we go get something to eat on the west side. A little italian joint called Peppers, really good eating, i've been there before, I'll personally recommend the white pizza, good friggin eating... So, eventually, about 8:30 we end up at the event. A relatively small room, packed full of law students, all downing keg beer and jello shots, overall, you'd think i'd be in my element. So, I run into her, and she's great, receptive and kind and all of that. Ran into a couple of the people i'd met through her, some I were much more excited to see than others, etc etc etc... So, the event is drawing to a close, accordingly, it only ran until 11, or atleast that's what her mother inferred. Let me take a moment to express how not exited I were to see her mother, and leave it at that. So, I track Amey down, thats a lie actually, I'm pretty tall, it's a small room, and Amey is pretty easy to find in a crowd... Basically just tell her I wanted to borrow her for a moment before the evening came to an end. She of course suggests now, which I'd of been wise to decline. So, we sneak off for a moment to a little quieter of a place. And, i've got the opportunity to achieve my single purpose there.

And, of course, I fumble the ball. Wow, a football metaphor, it really must be Sunday.

I'd just wanted to clarify something, and I deliver probably about 80% of it, and detracted from the intent i'm sure. I just wanted to let her know that I wasn't trying to duck her, or that I were upset at her or anything of the like. Well, actually, I have been avoiding her. It's important to note here that the reasoning behind the end of the relationship were basically that she was returning to law school, and didn't feel it was appropriate to continue our relationship, with her playing the absentee. Which is not horribly unreasonable, were all rational actors as they say, looking out for our own best interests and what not. It's obviously a lot more complex than that, but again, we'll convey the minimum and move on. So, yes, I have been avoiding her, in part because it was seemingly what she wanted, and I guess in part, because I thought if I didn't contact her, i'd not have to think of her. As i'm sure you all are collectively aware, breaking up sucks. An understatement if ever there were one. I didn't want her to pop into my head, when I was driving, or lying down to bed, or out having a great time... hell, i didn't want to be writing this... Heres to selfserved defeat. Don't know how well i'd conveyed the point, it was intended as a genuine expression, yet seemingly received as rambling...

So, not all that long thereafter, B and I jumped out. We headed back east to some of the usual suspects, called a few people we knew, and tracked no one down.

First, Erie Waters, a classic. Literally dead. There were 4 other people there, and I honestly doubt some of them had pulses.
Then, The Main Event. B warned me going in that most likely we were walking into something just a tid bit hood. Unassuaged by the warning, we'd entered. I want to mention that I love black folk, for the simple fact that they ALWAYS have a good time. Seriously, they're able to detach themselves from any self-consciousness and just get down. There was some karoke going down, and some seriously impressive talent in the room. We'd taken down our one drink minimum, and moved on to somewhere a little quieter.
Finally, we end up at the "S&S Lounge." There we delve into deep and intricate conversation about Functionalist vs. Liberal Arts education theory, and Relativity and String Theory, all of which honestly has no place in this sort of locale. Infact, the evening ended when we had to leave because a fight were breaking out in the parking lot, and B didn't like the idea of a bullet hole in his new car. That's classy there.

And, Sunday, here and now, a day of rest.

Didn't achieve all that much today, and i'm absolutely comfortable with that. Ready to be impressive for a brand new week.

Thats just about where i'll leave you, and wish you well individually in your upcoming weeks,

See ya next Sunday,

-Ry$4k

I Forgot To Complain About The Corporate Whores Of The Insurance Industry, The Waste Of Local Bureaucracy And Their Lack Of Communication...

2006-08-11T03:58:00.000-04:00

Perhaps if I find myself in much the same mood tomorrow evening, i'll tell you all about it.

-Ry$4k

p.s.- Lets hope not.

It's Late, Yet I've Got All The Time In The World...

2006-08-11T03:33:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is guarenteed every single day of your life, except one.

Inevitably, it will come. In seemingly no time, my alarm will sound again. A resounding reminder that i've got responsibilities to attend to in this world, to be counted amongst the "productive citizens".

Life's been weird lately. That's lame and vague. My life has taken some odd turns of recent. That's a little better, yet no more specific.

I've come to discover I actually do like myself as a non-smoker. Which is some what odd, because i'd been so long a smoker, I some how forgot what life was like with out it. Waking up in the morning, and not feeling like absolute ass because my sleep deprived my body of it's hourly dose of nicotine. Not to mention the energy. I felt so alive.

Part of me wants to believe it weren't just the lack of smoking, but the combination of factors that made my life seem so good in addition to not smoking.

Of recent I had the opportunity to be a great friend to Davie Boy, and he inturn were to me as well. The ability to completely confide in another person, in the ulimiate confidence is really reassuring and roots you so deeply, that you'll never really understand it unless you've attained that dynamic with someone yourself.

An amazing young woman had opened up to me avenues that i'd never really experienced in my adult life. While as seemingly titillating as that sounds, it's a bit more mundane, day to day, yet still extraordinary beyond reason. Sometimes we come across minor little cross roads in life, and need someone to drag us onto the path that we'd cynically shunned aside. It's amazing how inspired one person can make another feel, and the joy derived simply from their company.

Stack a top that temporary financial security in the form of federal grants and secured loans for college, and you've got yourself some sunshine to revel in. Not to mention the sun itself were shining, with some parts of the states reaching into the triple digits, an inconvient truth indeed.

But seemingly, the highs only amplify the lows.

When standing upon the top of the mountain, you generally don't concern yourself with the matters of the valley. When lost in the valley, the mountain tops are the farthest from the mind.

So when we're low, we find that smoking is as ample a crutch as the ear of a great friend. Though, obviously not nearly as good, you make due... Cause he's on his honeymoon in Western Europe, and not only is it impossible, but honestly inappropriate to call.

If only we could bottle the freshest air from atop the mountain, so while we swagger through the smog of the valley we could be reminded of where we can be. It does work actually, postitive mental imagery... But it works so briefly, a momentary distraction from the maelstrom that is life.

It's not that I don't realize that eventually he'll return, and she'll call, and i'll go through the miserable three days of withdrawl again when so inspired... I know these combinations of events aren't really all that far off. Infact, barring some serious inconvience with changes in airport security, Davie Boy will land in Cleveland in all of 12 hours. It won't matter that her phone has been dead all week, because tomorrow she works right down the street from me, and doesn't end her shift till 2 hours after mine, so I can just stop in and say hello, and the sun will shine again. As to the not smoking thing... Sure, when i've got a couple of days of joy stacked up again, i'll downshift into the torture and agony of withdrawl, and probably sleep through most of it.

It's not that I don't see the silver lining, it's just from the valley, the clouds seem even farther.

-Ry$4k

p.s.- Well hell, wasn't that cheery. It's 4 am, and i'm bitter that my mind chooses to keep my body from sleep.

p.s.s.- To those who randomly come upon this, as to those that find themselves here intentionally... This is overly melodramatic simply cause i'm in a wrought awful mood at this hour, things aren't actually this bad, I just make them seem that way, because it suits my mood momentarily.

It's Big, It's Beautiful, It's Burgandy and It's a Buick...

2006-06-26T19:09:00.000-04:00

And in only seven low monthly payments, it will be mine...

Good evening America,

We've not spoken in some time, and I wanted to let you know I honestly feel bad about that. If the federal government can spy upon my private life, under some assumed expansion of the constitutional powers of a president in a time of war, then I can come out and talk to you all directly. Towards my international audience, i've been tracking the hits, and you've really been falling off, so bugger the lot of you, especially the Canadians.

It's been a rathering interesting ride since I'd last popped in to say hello. As much as I sometimes pretend that my life can be uninteresting, or dull in reality thats not the way. Not atleast in the big picture sense. Obviously, at times, I find myself without something to do. Really though theres a good bit of drama swarming about me at almost all times.

The topic of this particular post started last Wednesday, about 8pm. I'd just finished dinner, went up strairs to check my mail, and found out that a buddy of mine was in Cleveland, and had been for some days. I was unaware, not that the information wasn't available, I really just hadn't been paying the attention I guess I should've. It was literally hidden away, somewhere I barely ever look. But, as it turns out, the plan came together quickly.

I decided to go out and have a drink. Ok, so those of you who've been reading of my life for any time now know that that isn't true. It's pretty clear that i've not got a problem with drinking, or any sort of addiction that'd require an instutition with an acronym assigned to it. But, in reality, I rarely ever have just one drink. It seems such a waste. Inevitably, a single drink will do little to your judgement, and leave you tired and unsatisfied. Not to mention, initiate an almost instantaneous hang over. Generally, I have more than a single drink when I go out.

It's important to note that I was warned of his state, he was unaware that he'd be enjoying my company that evening, and had been drinking since whatever business function he'd been forced to attend. Also, it's important to note that he'd warned me that I shouldn't nor did I need to attempt to keep up with his pace, where in he's had a few more years experience and is a bit more proficient when it comes to drinking. Finally, he'd noted that I didn't need to feel leashed to him that evening, and that I could find my way home at whatever hour i'd had enough.

All of these are valid and worth while warnings, and I really should've tucked away my subconscious pride, and taken heed.

Lets all take a moment to appreciate hindsight. Isn't it wonderful to look back and say... Wow, wouldn't it of been better to do this instead?

But, against what should've been my better judgement, I choose to go out and have a great time.

Lets start from the begining. Left the house at about 8:30. Returned shortly there after, I'd forgotten my camera, and something in the air suggested this might just be one of those memorable evenings you read about on someone's lame ass blog.

That being said, I actually found my way downtown. Let me say this, downtown is a serious bitch. Lot of streets downtown, and not that much parking. So, I found a meter on 6th and St. Clair, about a block away from Key Center, which was the objective.

We started in the bar on the bottom floor. I took a Miller Light, which is generally my drug of choice. To all of those who think they have some high and mighty taste in beer, let me say this; I really don't like beer, not particularly fond of the taste, but it does provide one very important service... http://thatvideosite.com/view/41.html (It'll get ya drunk!)

We left pretty soon after our first drinks. There was this young woman looming around behind us, i'd assumed she were interested in my buddy's ever charming british accent, but as it turns out on slow nights, she paces around waiting for someone to light a ciggarette. So, we left.

Ran up to the 23rd floor, checked out his room, pretty decent place to stay. Especially on the company's dime. Took us a while to decide, but eventually I decided that Alice Cooperstown was the place to be. There was a Tribe game that night, they were getting owned on, and it started to rain... Should equate to a pretty decent crowd at the bars that surround the Jake. As it turns out though, reality and logic often part ways. Pretty lame crowd at Cooperstown, decided to head over to the Thirsty Parrot, which is the bar caddy corner to our current location. Let me say this, the flashing lights, the loud music, and the echo'd chatter and cheering that pour from the patio of the Parrot are in themselves all a lie. Again, pretty lame.

Ran into some random young woman who was rather convienced we'd somehow taken Chemistry together. I've never taken Chemistry, not at CSU atleast. But, I played along, simply because it was about the most entertaining interaction we'd had all night. Eventually, we found our way away.

Stumbled down a dark alley, which I thought at the time lead over to e. 4th st. It didn't. It didn't lead anywhere really, so we both elected to piss on some public property and double back. At this point, the rain became a much larger annoyance than it'd been previously. We'd tried to hail down a cab, but there were none to be found (which again speaks to how shamefully small our city can be). So, I decided to flag down a car. This of course never works. It really never does, no one stops, I don't care if it's a blizzard, no one stops. But, somehow, some way, someone stopped this evening. Gentleman by the name of Paul Hoynes. Mr. Hoynes happens to be the sports writer for the Plain Dealer, which I thought was sort funny and an opportunity for some late evening name dropping. Pretty decent conversation, on what was a short trip over to West 6th street.

I've been neglecting to mention my drinks through out this scene. I'd been diving into Red Bull and Vodka all evening, interlaced between beers. I was pretty drunk. But theres something about big beat techno that lights the drunken soul on fire. Not entirely sure which bar we were at on West 6th, but they're basically all the same. Generally a good time, but I believe there was some weird contention with a small group because my buddy said something flattering to one of the young women amongst them. Really barely worth mentioning, so we eventually jumped out. Last call as it were basically ended our evening.

Don't really remember our way back to the hotel, we could've walked it for all I knew. Pretty much wasn't in a place to drive, set my alarm for 9 am, and hoped parking tickets were cheap that early in the morning.

The moral of this story will come a bit later.
I'm tired.
Been a long day,

I'll check back with you all a bit later America,

-Ry4k

p.s.- This story gets a little more interesting in a moment. Read backwards.

Two Posts in One Day...

2006-05-17T23:30:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure Nostradamus prophecies listed this very event as a sign of armageddon...

Really, you should take a moment for a celebratory drink at the very thought that'd i'd grace you with my words twice in a day. Hell, previously, twice in a week was a matter for jubilation.

First, a warning, then we'll get to the meat of this whole post. I must warn you, i'm atleast at the moment, rather distracted. No, there isn't a duel to the death occuring in the backround. Simply, my mind is rather focused on tomorrow evening. I'm predicting now that it'll be a joyous event, and not in that "we'll be greeted as liberators" context either. I'm sure i'll allude back to it at a later date. (Inserted later) Furthering this idea: I just realize I was so elated by my phone conversation establishing tomorrows plans, I actually forgot to start the dryer.

Anyways, back to the idea behind this post: Perspective.

As much as I hate when others do the same, i'll begin with the Webster's rendition of the term:

per·spec·tive P Pronunciation Key (pr-spktv)
n.

1. A view or vista.
2. A mental view or outlook: “It is useful occasionally to look at the past to gain a perspective on the present” (Fabian Linden).
The appearance of objects in depth as perceived by normal binocular vision.
1. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole: a perspective of history; a need to view the problem in the proper perspective.
2. Subjective evaluation of relative significance; a point of view: the perspective of the displaced homemaker.
3. The ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance: tried to keep my perspective throughout the crisis.
The technique of representing three-dimensional objects and depth relationships on a two-dimensional surface.

Alright, those who know me best know i'm well too cheap to actually own any version of Merriam-Webster References, that's directly from www.dictionary.com, bookmark it, use it, it'll make you a better person.

I didn't really read the dictionary's offical opinion of the word. I came here to express my own thoughts on the manner.

Brief Side Note: This ties back to my theory that there is no such thing as "culture", where as we're all well too individually different to ever represent a functional likemindedness.

As i've already ruined the suspense of my theory with a side note, i'll say this: If we were to sit 100 people (selected at random in some sort of double blind, scientific theory, publically funded research sort of manner) in a room, and show, or say, or present anything to them, no two of them would perceive it in the exact same way. Not to mention, it'd be literally impossible to record their personal perception / reception of the material in some absolutely objective and unbiased fashion. This is sounding like a failed study, and a valid point all at the same time.

The reasoning behind this thought. As i've come into adulthood, i've come to realize that people disagree with me on all sorts of matters. Opinions obviously vary, keep in mind i'm usually in the right and all; but, i've got a great deal of trouble at times understanding where someone is coming from. I'm going to talk about "Jerry" here.

Brief Side Note [Exposition (Drama term, 4th definition]: Jerry. Jerry has a last name, sadly I never bothered to learn it. Jerry and I shared a class room this past semester [PSC231-International Politics(see the post below)] . When I say that, I mean to say that literally daily, Jerry and I went toe to toe on some topic of discussion. My personal favorite Jerry quote from the year, in reference to discussing the North / South economic divide of the world and the concept of sustainable development: "Atleast AIDS is keeping the African population in control". Important to mention that's a paraphrase, and I was so amazingly taken a back by it, i'm not sure I was even able to respond. This was probably the most obscene and inhumane statement he'd made all semester, and most likely he was just trying to get a rise out of me. I can only chastise him so much though, i'd done much the same the week before, comically suggesting we nuke the rest of the world, so we could finally live in peace. It's also worth mentioning here, to give some actual backround towards his perspective, he's a P-60 student, which means he's over 60 years of age attending class for free, and not taking exams. He's also rather conservative in his views, and a veteran.

I obviously can't possibly think exactly like a 60 year old conservative veteran. My childhood didn't consist of depression era conservation. I was never around when racism was overtly accepted. I've never lived through a world war, nor have I ever served my country in one. I didn't make my personal fortune during the wealth and excess of the 80's. I've never had a child and worried about their well being before my own.

All these facts make it difficult for me to perceive where he's coming from. I do believe that we all in a way are a reflection of our personal experiences. When I suggested the US Military Code of Justice was weak and inept, protecting the most high profile offenders to save political face, Jerry only knew of the latrines he scrubbed with a toothbrush because he was late to the mess hall one day.

(http://www.intel-dump.com/archives/archive_2005_07_31-2005_08_06.shtml#1123180566) Not directly the article i'm remembering, but covering the same topic. The article I was referencing contrasted the US soldier who received 6 months restrictive barracks duty, and a $1,200 fine for binding an iraqi general with an electrical cord, stuffing him head first into a sleeping bag, and sitting on his chest; which in turn caused his death, the same day a US citizen was sentenced to 2 years in jail and a $25,000 fine for pouring pig's blood on a military recruiting station in protest.

This is what I refer to when I speak of perspective.

This entire post was spawned by something completely third party to this, but we'll spoil "V for Vendetta" for the rest of you at a later date.

Cheers,

-Ry$4K

p.s. - I wonder if the laundry is finally dry, considering I actually started the dryer this time round. =O)

p.s.s- Random Rap Quote: "Why is Bush acting like he's trying to get Osama, Why don't we impeach him and elect Obama?" Jadakiss - Why (Remix)

I Walk As A King Amongst Men...

2006-05-17T09:39:00.000-04:00

Yeah, well, guess what, grades were posted this morning, so I get to be a prick...

Drumroll please...

That's right boys and girls, looks like the string of perfection in academia continues...

Two semesters down, a good... 14 to go?

I should send this to my Congressman, and hit him up for some of that tastey Federal Money.

Yeah, this post is assy, but i'm excited, i'll write something worthwhile soon.

-Ry$4K

p.s.- Woot.

So, It's Been Three Months Since I Visited...

2006-05-08T11:23:00.000-04:00

It's amazing I can be an absentee father to my own blog.

Let us work of the assumption that i've somehow not had a single word to write in three months. Not that that is anywhere near accurate, but I don't know if I can explain the lack of writing in the last couple months. I'll go with "I was busy".

Actually, if you look back through the archive of posts, I noticed two different and distinct patterns:
1.) I have a habit of blogging when I can't sleep, which has really not been a problem for me recently. I've been sleeping better than ever, which could be in direct relation to how much happier i've been as a whole.
2.) I've been in class. As in, Spring Semester at CSU. It's almost over though, and in reality I should be focusing on a paper for ENG241, Intro to Fiction and Drama, which is sadly such a joke.

But, i'm back, even in that temporary "currently" sense.

So, as it turns out, Mom's not been lying to me all these years. I guess I am actually as charming and attractive as she's been reassuring me all these years. Not that I didn't believe her, but it's sort of one of her maternal duties in the populate the planet sense. I'd explain that further, but it's pretty damned funny in it's current obscure ass fashion.

As it stands, i've met someone. That statement in itself is a misnomer. I knew her previously, but as fate would have it, we'd crossed pathes again, and are both rather enjoying the ride. I don't know the level of detail i've breached previously in these posts, when it comes to relationships. It seems inappropriate in a certain way to "out someone" on the internet, not that i've got a massive readership. Actually, thinking back, i've not been single for as long as i'd previously thought I were. With the modern definition of relationships, it's difficult at times to determine what qualifies a relationship.

Currently, i'm not single. Not that I hold "labels" in all that high a regard, it's good to know where you stand.

I've heard for years, various artists present the idea of "friends to lovers" in their music, but personally i've never experienced it, which is pleasently surprising. Its amazing how comfortable you can be with someone, someone you know on a very deep and personal level, so early in a relationship. Usually we'd both be stumbling through that akward "getting to know you" phase, which can be fun and all. This time round, its a bit different. Where in we'd not seen nor spoken to one another in some years, we've both "evolved" into something much greater. I've alluded previously though out all these thousands of words to the idea of "personal growth", but it's never so evident as when you find someone again.

Two brief interjections,
1.) I promise to stop "quoting" things.
2.) I promise to stop making these mini lists.

College has done so amazingly well to shape my view of the world. Even flipping back only a year or so in these posts, i've come to realize how greatly my perspective has changed. I must say though, i'm a little more scared of the world than ever. Big crazy unstable place out there, and no where near enough people hold my same viewpoints. Even worse, I have a great deal of trouble bridging the divide, trying to express in some lucid fashion why my angle is superior.

Not to suggest there was some overarching structure or hierarchy to this post, but I feel as if i've some how got off topic.

Whats really funny is i'm litterally just killing time. I'm waiting till 12:15, so I can make a phone call, and inquire as to how my girl did on her first final. Let me tell you, i'm obviously still an undergraduate, but there seems a great divide between undergraduate, and graduate finals. Now, obviously, law school is serious business, but I do wonder if I could handle that sort of competition and pressure. It's like locking a couple hundred people in a room, and telling them that only 20 or so are ever allowed to leave. I guess from where I stand, currently enjoying the academic atmosphere so much, I don't know if I want to experience that sort of cut throat mentality. I like discussion, debate, dissent, and information.

But, the more I learn of the world, the more i'm convienced that here in the land of capitalism i'll have to fight and claw my way to the top if I ever really want to make it. Thats a truely bothersome thought. I can't assume it to be exclusively true, but I just see all the dirtiest fighters on the top. The Kenneth Lay's of the world, the Dick Cheney's of the world, etc... But then, in contrast, there are the Bill Gates and Barack Obama's of the world, suggesting that the righteous path isn't necessarily one of poverty or joylessness.

Perhaps it's about assigning value. If you hold the dollar almighty, and your personal dignity or morality in a not so close 53rd, you will assumingly be willing to generate corporate scandal for the man above you, so you can coup de tat a corner office and seven figure salary.

Alright, I'm done. I'll wait out the remaining 15 minutes or so in the shower.

Cheers,

-Ry$4k

p.s.- I'll be back sooner than last, I promise.

I Swear I Was Going To Read...

2006-02-24T10:49:00.000-05:00

Cover just a little more of Booker T. Washington's Biography...

Assigned readings are generally pretty drab. Atleast theres the excitement of considering Booker T as some mild form of reverse race trader. Where in his efforts towards a functional or vocational educational system for recently freed African Americans was in fact a betrayl in a sense of his race. Leading them to a life of inferiority; socially, economically, and politically.

Theres always that.

But, with the twelve minutes that remain before an "optional" review session for the Geology lab midterm, I choose to do this.

I've been having these grand little concepts of recent, considering those matters larger than myself, in some form of recreational distraction from my day to day reality. Perhaps, in a sense to keep myself from actually considering my standing, or to make myself feel more important than I am.

All of which are possible, but most likely not all that probable.

It seemingly ties back to my concept of responsible citizenship, and that which it entails. If I'd not expressed it here previously, it's the concept that as a citizen we are all individually personally responsible for staying informed about the current political and social occurances in the aggregrate. Interesting concept, but again, perhaps just a way to make "news junkies" like myself more comfortable with the time spent in those sort of matters.

I'm going to steal away five minutes from this, before the review starts, to have another smoke.

So, till next time,

-Rys4K

Trying Blogger for Word...

2006-01-16T18:23:00.000-05:00

Cause the online one always finds a way to screw me and or piss me off…

Such is the way of the world though. What I mean to say, is that little these days seems to be without drama. Even the most everyday of activities seems to bring some troubles unseen along with it.

So, it’s Monday the 16th of 2006, Martin Luther King Jr. Day. School starts up again tomorrow, and with that comes the anxiety of perceiving some personal under prepared status. An example of such is the trouble to be had tomorrow at the Bursar’s office, as I’d just recently come to understand that they’d of liked their first tuition payment on the 6th. Ten days late for those too lazy to consider the math. Being as the “BPP” or Bill Payment Plan is some sort of mutual agreement between myself and the university, and really in it’s own way, a pretty important financial favor from the institution itself, I’m sure there is some sort of fine print that says I’m screwed.

Way to assume the worst, ehh?

Such is the way these days, pessimism takes hold in almost every situation, for it’s inherent safety from disappointment. That sort of assumes that the presumption of the worst some how makes the situation better. Which can’t possibly be true? The situation itself stands independent of such factors. It doesn’t really matter what I expect to happen, my expectations have little effect on the real outcome. What is going to happen will happen, my pessimism will only perhaps change my reaction to the situation. If I expect a fight, and am prepared for the fight, generally I’ll be better off.

Again though, I’m pretty sure that’s not accurate. If I approach the situation in a confrontational manner, there is a chance I’ll skew the other party’s perception of myself or of my intent. So the answer is really just to be cool. Just be cool, let what happens happen, and deal with it at that point.

The funny thing about this is it’s situational. The variables in life are so vast, that considering these things previous to their occurrence has almost no virtue. I can’t predict the future, because if I could, I wouldn’t have to worry about my reaction, because it wouldn’t be a reaction, it’d be some little scene played out in response to events I knew would occur.

This post ends here, and another begins shortly here after.

-Rys4K

It's late, and i'm drinking...

2005-12-14T23:46:00.000-05:00

Not for pleasure or anything, i'm drinking because I'm underslept and over caffinated.

sdfsdfdfsffff

Damned blogger unusable text options.

Back to the matter at hand. I've moved past the morality debate, I decided I needed to sleep, and therefore, i'm drinking.

I looked at myself in the mirror right before hitting the head moments ago, and my eyes have gazed over in that pinkish blood shot look.

I'm coming upon the end of my first semester back in college, and i've only been let down really in one area.

Where is the rampant sexual deviance I was promised? Honestly? If hedonism and secularism have taken hold in our godless institutes of higher education, why am I not getting any? Why is no one I know who is single getting any?

I mean, yes, that sounds funny. But, i'd still like a nice little slice of pie every once in a while. Everyone has a sweet tooth.

It's really rather late, and i've got to find my way back to bed.

But, really, think of it.

And, donate to a good cause... The Rys needs love too fund.

-Rys4K

My First Post From a Public Source...

2005-11-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

Thats right boys and girls, on a CSU computer.

As much as I could assume some sort of right or assumption of privacy here, I'd deem it wise not to. Not that i've got some state secrets to share here or something, but as they say it's better to maintain a healthly level of suspicion, then a detrimental level of ignorance.

Didn't that seem insightful? It's a lie, theres no insight there, atleast I'd hope not. I would advise all to maintain a little vilgilance. It's good to be aware of that around you, always be conscious of your surroundings and situations, be it physical, socail, or political.

In reference to something I typed up before my PSC111 exam, which will hopefully appear before this post, though I doubt it. I'm lazy with the time stamping, and sometimes I just put them up as if i'd freshly typed them. There we go, suggesting typing or words could grow stagnent, as if the best literary works of man somehow had a halflife and continue to expire upon the hallowed shelves of the library of Congress. I doubt there are actually shelves in the library of Congress, in fact, I'm pretty sure all the information within is digitized, and stored away in some blade server or rack system. It's amazing how easily such old and epic work can be modernized through digital storage. To the same effect, I do wonder why the Library of Congress, as well as all others in exsistence don't maintain their wealth of information in an online accessable format. The freedom and exchange of such information, even if restricted only to citizens of certain countries or areas respectively, would do well to further man as a whole.

Imagine that if you would, being able to pull up any book online. I would imagine there'd have to be some sort of 50 year lag on entries unto the digital library, protecting writer's and publisher's copyrights and profitabililty. Damn, i'm going to write my congressman now. Wait a tick, they're both Republican, atleast until 2006, which means they have little interest in the furthering of man, or atleast a larger interest in private industry then human rights or civil liberties...

Sadly, i've not got time to explain, expound, or defend that over-reaching statement,

Till next time then,

-Ry$4K

p.s.- Love the $

There is a massive gap in my blogs...

2005-11-14T16:16:00.000-05:00

Not so much a factual gap, but one of time.

As it seems, i've been missing in action for sometime. Unfortunately, i've not really had all that much time to attend to my blog here. Which is most likely why I don't have a real concrete base of readers. All the better though, with 50,000 words here, I got less than 1,500 hits, such is the way.

I wanted to note that I saw something truely amazing, in the most basic sense of the word today. Senator John Kerry, former candidate for the presidency of the United States of America, made some amazing remarks to the US Senate today. Therefore, I decided to write him an email, and ask him for his remarks, either in transcript or notes. It was as follows:

Good Afternoon Mr. Senator,

I wanted to tell you that i've never been more proud than at this very moment to have voted for you in the 2004 Presidential election. My vote on that day were in fact the first time i'd ever voted in a Presidential election, because i'd finally come of legal age. I also wanted to thank you for coming to Cleveland the night previous, I had a great time at your rally, and it really got me a lot more involved.

Beyond all of that, I wanted to ask you if you had available the transcript of your remarks to Senate today, as it was an amazingly well constructed, factually supported, delivered, and most importantly damning and condemning of the President's actions in misleading us to war. If you could possibly email me the transcript or whatever notes you worked off of to deliver these remarks, I would greatly appreciate it.

Best regards, and good luck in your future endeavors,

****** Rys, Cleveland OH

I'm not sure that i've ever share my full name here, not that I honestly care with as few readers as I have.

Beyond that, I do hope you all are doing well.

-Rys4K

Well, we kept our promise to ourselves...

2005-09-19T21:59:00.000-04:00

Thats got to be worth something, in that moral and aesthetic sense...

But, in reality, it's of no consequence.

I did finally publish all of my recent blogging from the good ol' fashioned Toshiba E335, aka my Pocket PC.

They're generally short insights, shared before class or what not, generally not on test days.

The dates are accurate, but generally, the time stamps are not.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Also, you'll note the grammatical and spelling errors, as well as some missing punctuation, but if you've ever tried to blog from a PocketPC, even with a fullscreen keyboard, you'll understand.

p.s.s- I could get a bluetooth keyboard for about 50, but i've barely got enough to cover tuition...

If a written word is never read, was it ever really written at all?

2005-09-19T10:58:00.000-04:00

What an interesting weekend we had.

Back to the title shortly, once more I wonder of the virtue of all these little annecdotes, in the fact that none of them have made it to the blog. Why write what you dont intend to share? I understand that some things are written with the intent of privacy, but the syntax and subjects of the collective notes here in the pocket pcsuggest otherwise. I guess ill post them all when I have a chance...

But to the subtitle, and in turn, my weekend. In a general sense, it was uneventful, there was a lot of time killed playing Counterstrike, which weve determined in the past has no real residual value. I did beat Rommell in the one on one last evening, which is fun, in the fact that it suggests im higher iin the skill hierarchy of the clan and all...

What I did want to note was the two lunches I shared with Justin & Ashley this weekend. Personally, I thought theywent very well, i helped them understand the short comings of their current paths, and suggested a way to skew them in a more successful manner. My personal opinions were basically shattered with another drunken phone call from uncle John, where this all really started...

Profs here, time to go, till next time,

-Rys4K

With the few moments we have before Mrs. Willams joins the class, i wanted to note that I really did do a good deal better on my PHL131 exam then I had first assumed. While i did get all of a 75 out of 100, its still better than the D I assumed.

Have faith in yourself and your own abilities above all else.

While the prof is not yet here, its still time to go...

I will post all of these later today,

-Rys4K

Ive not yet shared anything today...

2005-09-15T21:57:00.000-04:00

Most likely because I woke up at 6:30, and been all hussle bussle ever since. Good lord, prof is starting early, time to go...

-Rys4K

Today, 8 am seems earlier than ever.

2005-09-13T21:56:00.000-04:00

Im sure it wasnt wise to be until 11 and all, but sometimes, thats just the way it is. Had the most disturbing dream last evening, was one of those good old end of the world scenerios. Dont really remember the specifics of it, but i was being showered in glass, which is never fun and all.

<>Anyhow, prof just walked in, so were soon to begin,
<>
Till next time,

-Rys4K

<>My deepest fears were just reassured.

in my 8 am PSC111, wed just reviewed for Thursdays test briefly, and ive come to actualize how poorly prepared I actually am. It is just a little scary, in the fact that its the only class that is nearly particular to my announced major... Time for class again, which sucks, cause i didnt read ch. 3 last night... TTYL,

<>-Rys4K

Were blogging from the parking lot of Rainbow Muffler on the corner of 185th & St Clair

2005-09-12T21:55:00.000-04:00

Standing in the parking lot, waiting for Davie Bou to grab me for lunch... Recently my PSC111 prof was explaining how hes lived in different areas of the United States. I bring it up cause hed noted that no where in the US do people kill time like in the midwest. When I finally come to post all of these random thoughts, that ive been filling my free time constructing them. Just a thought,

-Rys4K

Another day, another entry...

2005-09-12T21:54:00.000-04:00

Only about 15 minutes early for the monday 9:45 today, that is after i tracked down a pisser & handled that sort of business. Not feeling as entirely prepared as i would like to be, being as yesterdays infamous photoshoot lasted a grueling 9 hours. Now dont get me wrong, it was fun and all. Nothing like half naked women to make the day go by a little smoother...

Not to forget weve got some instantly classic pictures of me with the model, which ill most likely share here...

Beyond all of that, today is going to be mighty hectic itself. Weve got 2 classes this morning, possibly lunch with the nice young lady from HIS215, then back east to try & get my muffler reaffixed, then a whole slew of studying and preparation for a busy week, chuck-full-of tests...

Well, prof is ready, so im off again...

-Rys4K

A few moments here, wanted to note that if i were able to convince my father to uphold his part of his divorce settlement, and in turn cover half of my tuition, life and my personal financial well being would be much better off...

All for now,<>

<>-Rys4K

Got a good 10 minutes before class, why not share the dramatic events of the morninng?

2005-09-09T21:53:00.000-04:00

So, about an hour or so ago, i was in my PJs(scrubs & a t-shirt for those who want to visualize) on my hands and knees playing buick proctologist... Last evening on my way home from work, just as i was pulling into the driveway, the muffler finally came completely disconnected from its feed pipe. This was of course leaps and bounds worse than it were previously. The difference between cracked and seperated is the sound of the muffler itself bouncing off the concrete. Surprisingly though, the car actually makes a much less horrific noise now...

Time for class, till next time,

-Rys4K

Again, we blog from class, previous to the arrival of our fearless professor that is.

2005-09-08T19:44:00.000-04:00

Nothing like waking up up at 6:30 to arrive a good 20 minutes early. The real problem in the entire situation is the fact that rushhour traffic can be so unpredictable. I have to allow for traffic, in a worst case scenerio sense. Last thing i need is to roll into class late, especially in thefact that tuition is such a high personal expense, i can calculate the value of a single minute of class.

As towards an update on the ever pressing situation with the buick. oil has been changed, which did help alleviate the excelleration problems, towards the horrendous noise she exclaims whenever I accelerate, its not done anything. Though in turn, while under her chasis, they were able to determine the pipe that feeds the muffler had infact cracked.

Well, again, class is about to begin, so were off running...

Wanted to take a moment again to blog before class. Not that I believe that ill be able to share anything worthwhile, being as theres little time, and this isnt the most effienct manner of typing. The prof is always here early, and has a tendancy to blovviate upon interesting but generally useless subject matter. Today its bees and orchids, and whales eating seagulls...

good stuff

<>I am off again, class shall begin soon

-Rys4K

Blogging from inside the belly of the beast.

2005-09-07T09:33:00.000-04:00

It's just short of 9:30 & i'm already sitting in class... The jew named David in the front row on his cell to kill time, and seem important. This feigned attempt at importance is easily seen through by all of the half dozen people here this early...

I'm proud to say i actually ran this morning, not that i'd made it much further than once around the block, i literally was dying upon complesion. Who would've thought that an excess of coffee & ciggarettes would be a poor pre-run suppliment? Either way, i did survive, and eventually showered and made it to class... Again, way too early...

The buick is starting it's shit again, it's like, if you go 6,000 miles without an oil change it tries to divorce from your parental realm. For a moment there, the professor, who is easily 80, wasn't quite sure he was in the right place... Anywho, the exceleration on the buick is going to shit, and slightly overheating. I might have to actually give in and change her panties this evening...

Time 4 class... Till next time,

-Rys4K

Though, i have but a moment before class begins, i wanted to say that this place has a great deal of stairs, and as a smoker, thats a real bitch. Beyond that, life is well. I've learned that my PHL131 teacher teaches exclusively from the text, not that that's all that horrid, but makes me wonder of the virtue of attending class...

Wow, my second prof, HIS215 is literally always late...

But, class will inevitablely start soon, so mr. ppc is to be tucked away once more...

-Rys4K

P.s.- if this biach was wireless this would already be posted...

Again from Lou's, as we wait for the xante to finally kick on.

Hell, why not blog while getting my oil changed. Step one towards figuring what the hell is wrong with the buick here. The gentleman said that he'd take a look while under there, which could be a good or bad thing... I wonder now, a bit late, if he's really got any real automotive knowledge? As much as i'd accept any advice with a strong degree of cynacism, especially if it ends up costing me anything. Alright, were about done, so im off again.

woot, fullscreen keyboard makes all my in class blogging much easier...

so a much more simmple skin makes life easier...

I'm A Different Man Than I Was Yesterday...

2005-08-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

And, not in that continued personal growth sense... well, sort of...

It is really sort of amazing, yesterday I was designing a WWDB t-shirt, "What Would Buder Do?" (look for it at http://www.cafepress.com/rys4k) just in an attempt to kill a little time with a lazy Sunday, like so many that'd come before. Today, i'm a madman, running around from here to there, yelling and crumbling maps, cursing buildings for not being more clearly labeled, etc...

Today was in part exactly what I expected, and in part the sort of mindfuck you find in sci-fi movies. Both of my classes were your classic first day introduction, take attendance, make sure you're in the right place, and then here's a breakdown of what we'll be achieving in our time together. Pretty straight and narrow...

Actually wanted to jump back a moment before I got to the more surprising part of my day. Arrived nice and early, had to stop for gas and smokes this morning, but made it on the highway at about 5 till 9. My estimate was pretty accurate, 15-20 minutes until downtown, and to the main lot at CSU itself. Was flagged down at that point by the gentleman guarding the lot, who wasn't all that helpful. He first of course informed me I couldn't park there, then I told him that i'd purchased my parking pass last evening online, and I wondered if he had any sort of list with my name on it. Negative, nor could he provide me with the information in where I might be able to procure my tag before class, so I might actually be able to park in the lot. So, i end up driving for a good 20 minutes, trying to track down somewhere to leave the buick for all of 4 hours. Well, street parking is only 2 hours, and I didn't believe that i'd have time to get out to the meter between classes. I of course don't have my student ID yet, which would've allowed me to park in the cash lots for 2 dollars, and to make matters even worse, I had a single dollar in my wallet, and some change in the opposing pocket. I eventually found a cash lot, that didn't require my personal CSU ID, on Prospect and 14th... which for reference is about 8 blocks away, diagonally...

That's where i'll leave off at the moment, cause Lou finished with the client he was with, and i'mma go verbalize all this.

Either way, talk to you all a lil later on.

-Rys4K

50,000 Words, And Only 1200 Hits...

2005-08-28T02:35:00.000-04:00

Why do I even bother, there is no love in the world...

I was just reading through them all, and it was beautiful... In the past I seemed a little more inspired... Perhaps that'll soon change.

-Rys4K

p.s.- You all should read back, it's pretty damned fun...

Our Greatest Fear Is Not That We Are Inadequate, But That We Are Powerful Beyond Measure.

2005-08-28T02:14:00.000-04:00

Williamson, Marianne (1996). A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles. New York: HarperCollins. ISBN 0060927488.

Mom actually has it on the way from Amazon.com, seems to be a good read.

The quote in full is:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Decent quote, from a damned decent movie. Finally watched "Coach Carter" with mom this evening. Well worth the iNDemand charge of $3.95, and I do recommend it to whomever finds there way here.

As to the quote previously, it's not all that often I find myself inspired, which is unfortunate in itself, or even more so that I often find myself inspired by films. Not just your run of the mill, waste of 8 dollars films, but those that display excellence in every sense. If you search back a year or so in the blog here, you'll find my top 5, all named for their own specific reasons, and covering the spectrum. Not to suggest Coach Carter is one of those films, but it has a reasonable chance at reaching the top 50.

Moving on while still supporting and explaining the original quote, I wanted to talk about highschool. Again, I believe I might have mentioned this previously, here in the world of blog, I spent four years in The Euclid Highschool. Obviously, it's worse today then it was when I went some five / six years back, and i'm sure it'll be even worse next year, and those to follow. Euclid wasn't the sort of microcosm that appreciated or endeared intelligence and free thought. Like the republican party, except much more ghetto. Two of my fondest memories from highschool, first, earlier in my highschool career, when I was a little greener, and perhaps a little meek, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my buddy B. I'd noted that one of the security guards beared a striking resemblence to the "space marine character" from Quake2, which had come out around that time period. Yes, Euclid had security guards, actually, we'd made CNN once with our metal detectors and bag searches. Either way, in some misconception the security guard thought I was trying to mad dog him or something, as I guess I stared at him a little too long for his liking. He approached our table, looked me dead in the eye, and said "What are you looking at you fucking faggot?" Good people, i do hope he got a christmas bonus. Second, and even more prominent in memory, there was Mr. Russo. I believe that was his name, honestly, he doesn't matter. Infact, he matters so little, he was my Highschool Guidance Counselor. Theres a great quote in Clerks about them, which I don't feel like tracking down at the moment. This was later in my highschool career, where as I began to enjoy myself a bit more. Quick note, this was the kind of quasi-phedophile that allowed cheerleaders to take their study hall in his office as "runners". So he sat me down in his tiny little closet of an office one day, and I don't specifically remember how it came about, I guess I was being a little to smug or sarcastic for his liking, but he says to me "Steve, you know your problem? You've got a genius complex." I was taken aback, and for a moment I think I might of actually been stunned. My mouth drooped open slightly, as I considered my possible replies... And the only thing that really came to mind was... "No, you're just a fucking idiot", which was somehow not acceptable, even though the man just intentionally insulted and disrespected me. I believe I smiled, thanked him, and walked out of his office.

So being of a sophmoric mentality, I chose to hide away my abilities, and just slid through highschool. Nothing like dumbing yourself down for the acceptance of others, I realize now there is no larger betrayal of self than that, which is what the above quote says to me.

Good of me to finally get around to the point, ehh?

Either way, in the near future, a relative 48 hours from now, i'll be returning into the same structured education system again. While I understand college has a lot more freedom about it, I still fear that mentality may prevail. I've tried to maintain an optimistic outlook towards it all, but i'm being dissuaded direct from the horses mouth. Both Davie Boy, and B, have attended CSU, and their opinions of it aren't all that high. I do believe they've both individually refered to it as the "13th" grade. I say that as if in conjunction their opinion's might change. While they are both incredibly supportive at the same time, I do believe they're just trying to forewarn me in some fashion...

But, when I shine, won't it just be a greater contrast?

I still doubt myself some how. As reassured as I am in my own ability, I fear it will all come tumbling down upon me, exponentially compounding until it is all too much to bear. Full time student, with a good thirty or so hours of work stacked upon it, just to barely be able to cover tuition, for a degree which the world of credentialism barely respects. Will in time I just take the Kayne route and drop my ass up out of college? I'm obviously not slinging crack rock, nor do I have a wicked jump shot, so how am I ever to make it big in this harsh reality of ours? Two rap references in two sentences, how hood is that? That makes thrice, and still it's no better.

Of all the weakness and anger and sadness, why this? Doubt drags us all down. But, this is where I achieve, this is what I do, this is how I roll. I've got this shit on lock, I write 2500 words casually, whats a 12 page essay to someone like me?

I've got a whole bag of skittles, and not just in CS:S.

Thats only funny, because of recent I've been playing a lot of Source, and that's soon to expire. I unfortunately won't have time for such recreation... Especially recreation that has absolutely no real value.

This seems like a crap place to end this, but I'm really just spent, I want to get some sleep and mentally prepare for it all.

-Rys4K

p.s.- We're the only one who can keep ourselves from greatness.

Forgive Me America, For I Have Sinned...

2005-07-11T00:59:00.000-04:00

It's been just under a month since my last confession...

This is such a great place to introspectively examine myself and lay it out there for public consumption, you wonder why I don't do it more often. I killed 3 men in California last year. There, now I feel much better.

Even if you knew me, you'd wonder how anyone can think that's funny.

I'd just risen from bed, swallowed two Tylenol PM, and lit a ciggarette. I do look forward to cheating my ever rampant mind, and falling into drug induced comatose. Tomorrow I sit down with Physician's Ambulence, to discuss possibly doing some web dev / tech work for them. Rather excited, especially because I'm teaming up in part with B on this project. Not that i've not already got enough on my plate, but i'm more than capable. Willing is really the question, but if the price tag is acceptable, it's probably worth my time. After my little rendezvous there, I have another ever so secretive meeting. Then, following that, I get to go purchase a new television for my room here. The one Lou had given me sometime ago, which was exceptionally kind and thoughtful, has finally passed on. So, cheers to spending more cash and all.

The following day is causing me even more angst. I've got a 2 o'clock with Ben Rochester, or something like that, at Cleveland State University. He's an undergraduate admissions advisior, and I do hope a lot more capable than Dr. Sandra Ezeckial. I don't know if I mentioned here my sit down with her, but it's enough to say, it didn't go well. "Can't nobody hold me down, can't nobody stop my pride." Something like that, I will infact move past her, and find someone more interested in helping me, even if it took a month.

The reason I'm mentioning this sit down, is because I finally printed out an application to CSU the other day, after scheduling it. Somewhere about three quarters the way down the first page of the application, theres a section with all of four or five horizontal lines where as they'd like me to explain why i'd like to attend their university. It allows me to attach additional pages as necessary, so I do intend to.

Just as i'd posted my best man's speech here for Reilly and Jen's wedding, reference - http://rys4k.blogspot.com/2004/07/so-i-promised-them-damned-fine-best.html
I will infact share preemptively with you what I intend to attach on addition pages as necessary.

...

I cut everything I wrote here out, because it was bloviated and trite, which at the moment I blame on the drugs...

...

They've taken hold, and i'll now find my way to bed, which is all of 2 feet south of me... So, i assume it'll be a safe journey.

Till next time,

-Rys4k

The Road To My Future Is Paved In Certified Funds...

2005-06-20T13:03:00.000-04:00

A single bank drafted check from Key might infact be the answer...

Yes, today, I finally took a step to remove the infamous albacross hanging from my neck. Sadly, it took three attempts by the large african man sitting behind the counter at Key Bank, not to mention it cost me $6.50... Both surprising and sad, I know.

But, now more than ever, i'm actually taking strides and making an effort to move forward in life, and how amazingly scary it was. I've always felt some angst in reference to this subject matter, I never really enjoyed talking about it, and whenever it was brought up I was happy to shift conversation from it. Most surprising was how anxious I was during the whole process. Which caused the large african teller to turn an incredulous eye my way, which always helps in trying to get a check cut for more than a G. I was shaking, leaning almost over the counter to observe the process, and to make the ordeal even worse the officer who worked at the bank had followed me in observing every shakey second of it.

When I walked out of the bank, I had the check. You'd think some relief would accompany this, but no, nothing. In fact, all I was was worried and scared. These feelings stayed with me a few minutes then eventually faded, as they always do. I'm still a little bothered as to how i'm reacting to this whole situation.

When I got home, I made a few calls, reestablishing some contacts and generating some new ones. Sadly, not a single person i've choosen to involve in this situation seems all that intersted in actually helping me. The gentlemen from the collection company took the time to remind me "We don't do this for free you know".

I personally have bad days too, where in I'm not as kind or helpful to people as perhaps I could be. But, the odds are stacked against the idea that I caught all five of the people I talked to today on a bad day. Unless of course the slope has been steeped and slicked so much, that life is just horrid for the lot of us. I blame republicans.

They lie, they lie as a big team, then give the less than average intelligence lackey following catchy little slogans that they reiterate over and over again. They have so little faith in their constituency they have to spoon feed the lies and spin over and over again.

Hell, atleast Fox News employees thousands of people. I do wonder if they force their employees to sign a loyalty oath, as does the President.

Alright, i'm off to the post office.

-Rys4K

Hey, I Know You, Don't I?

2005-06-17T00:50:00.000-04:00

I have this amazing ability to recognize everyone, and know no one..

It happens all the damned time. Basically, I've come to believe that my incredulous memory and over-vigilant reality has finally started to betray me. Everyone I see, I believe I know. I recognize them, yet am not entirely sure from where or when. This sadly also happens with cars.

Beyond that, you'd think I have something more to write about.

Accordingly, since I last graced you all with my ever graceful words, much has occured in my personal life.

Much of which I won't share with you, haters.

Actually, I've started to play golf, or more so, golf has started to play me. I'm really not all that good, but I believe it has something to do with my 70's set of clubs, or the fact that they all seem way too short for me.

Not to ignore the fact that i've also moved home. Home as in, mom's house. Which, previously may have seemed like some sort of personal defeat, but now really seems like a great thing.

Tomorrow I intend to drop some checks, and request that Keybank cut me a bank check for that which I owe CCAC. The debts of my past shall be repaid. Wootage. This of course in an attempt to get my life back on track.

Which would be nice and all. One night, I sat down, and drew out all my prominent lifeline scenerios. The commonly occuring factors, is they all began with my birth, ended with my death, and in every happy lil scenerio I went to college. Yeah, actually, that's not true, three didn't end with my death. Yes, as sophmoric as it seems, I still think I can live forever. Yet, i'm bored so often, who knows how i'd fill eternity.

"Remember Pluralism", The West Wing - Issac & Ishmael (Aaron Sorkin)

That's where we've ended up this evening. We're all so different, from every single angle. Yet, 84% of the Republican Party consists of White Christians. Fuck that, fuck them. Now, perhaps a point of view conveyed a little less vulgar. Now don't quote me here, i'll deny it every time, but honestly, deep down inside, I agree with some of the concepts of the republican party. I really do think there should be a smaller central government, with less taxation of the citizens. But, I understand the need for a central federal power, and to help one another. What I mean to say, is this current bastardized form of "conservatives" is just too much for anyone with a little more than the trunk of a brain stem. If you're capable of cognitive or abstract thought, start asking questions of those in power.

Being as I'd just recently became "politically conscious" just a few years back, I never realized how good we'd had it with Clinton. Not to say that he didn't make some actions that I disagree with.

It's 1:30, and i'm tired, we'll continue this later.

-Rys4K

This Post Has Had About A Dozen Different Names...

2005-05-16T23:02:00.000-04:00

Yet, somehow got stuck with that one in the end...

Hey America,

How you livin? Good Good, tell your momma hey for me.

Anyhow, I've had a weird last couple of days... months... years... Etc...

Yeah, more so, I've had this odd feeling of unsettlement over the last couple of days. I'll see or smell or hear different things, and it sends me into one man mental tangents. My mind is hijacked for a moment by all these different things. It's really just kind of, different. It's good I can be so eloquent or expressive about the experience, since i'm writing about it and all.

I like cookies, yet, i'm suddenly conscious of my wasteline. (odd overpersonal interjection)

The other evening, all of 2 nights past, I was over at mom's house. The kids, not to refer to them in some demeaning fashion, have been moving for sometime. Moving back from Pittsburgh, to Mom's house, then to their condo. That wasn't a complete sentence, but honestly, it doesn't really matter. Anyhow, they'd allowed some of the less important or essential things to fall by the way side, down in mom's basement. As I came upon the pile, on my way to our makeshift smoking lounge in the basement, i felt this sudden rush of longing yet sadness attached to all the various benign items. It felt like I was the medic strolling through a battlefield, corpses and limbs and gore strewn about the sand. I don't know how that's considerably benign, but theres a chance that a medic would know theres nothing he could do about it all. I think i'm expressing discontent and remorse, suggesting that those items reminded me of who I was then, and how much I didn't like that person.

Happened again all of a few minutes later. I was flipping through Jen's collection of old pictures, all neatly stored and arranged in some high class shoebox featuring pooh bear, and this sudden sadness came over me. There was a picture of me hanging out of Reilly's sundance, pretty smashed, at age 14/15. I was a lot heavier then, those were the 5'10" 250 days. Not a great version of me. And, the odd part is sometimes, i still feel like that's me. That internal selfimage or what not, that makes us selfconscious and remorseful of what we think we look like.

The oddest part about both of these experiences is that I was feeling great about myself all but a day before. I had a great evening out at a bar, was feeling good about myself. Even met a nice young lady who seemed to fancy me and all. Nicki, 3rd year English major at Baldwin Wallace University, and works in a library. Stop trying to picture her, you're wrong, and while she was very sweet but not too innocent. Had a little alternative bad girl side to her, made her even more appealing some how. Either way, I was sweet and charming and confident, and again, she fancied me. So, cheers.

There was actually a moment of great joy interjected right between those two incidents mentioned above. There were pictures of Davie Boy, a.k.a. D-Baby, K$, muh nigga, back in 97/98. He looked like such a child, it was really funny. That young boyish look, it was actually sort of elf like. Anyway, there was a lot of love there. There was this one where he's got a ciggi hanging out of his mouth and he's counting money, sitting in the front seat of the Saturn. Very pimp, I don't really remember the situation surrounding the photo, but it was really funny.

Might I add, I think that West Wing Week was an excellent idea. And, cheers to Bravo for doing so. I can litterally watch this show 24 hours a day, and be completely fufilled as a person. That is it's level of excellence. I think it's actually a very transperant liberal conspiracy, and no one has to die. Well, actually that's not true, but atleast we're not the ones stealing elections and invading foreign nations. But, Bush might have to die. I was actually thinking of the software, or virus, or whatever you want to call it that the NSA or CIA or APFTA might use to track verbal and written threats on the president, and how amazingly overloaded it's got to be. I'm so amazed that no one's tried to take that bastard out, I really am. Actually, I am really not, we the extreme left aren't gun toating nuts or NRA members, or KKK members, or small minded bigotists, seperatists, assholes. Ohhh, but we could rent one.

Actually, the point I was intended to make. This show personally inspires me to a level I can't possibly explain. It makes me want to make the world a better place for all people.

People have phenomenal capacity - Jed Bartlet.

Let's hope that's true.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I'm sure I had more to say, but theres only so much time, and always a tomorrow.

STEVE'S BIRTHDAY WISH LIST!

2005-04-05T00:15:00.000-04:00

http://www.wishcentral.com/guest.php?AOBGkptZWNPdg=3638

http://www.wishcentral.com/guest.php?AOBGkptZWNPdg=3638

http://www.wishcentral.com/guest.php?AOBGkptZWNPdg=3638

http://www.wishcentral.com/guest.php?AOBGkptZWNPdg=3638

http://www.wishcentral.com/guest.php?AOBGkptZWNPdg=3638

http://www.wishcentral.com/guest.php?AOBGkptZWNPdg=3638

http://www.wishcentral.com/guest.php?AOBGkptZWNPdg=3638

Tell Everyone You Know! Tell Everyone I Know!

-Rys4K

Man Up Nigga, Man Up.

2005-03-14T23:14:00.000-05:00

What made you think this was an option? You don't hit this and we got a problem nigga...

Well now, who'd of thunk it.

Davie Boy just called me out.

We hit out, he's lying on the floor bleeding.

No, not really.

Davie boy came and saw me tonight, and he and I made a wager. A wager amongst gentlemen, even though he's sort of a bastard for trapping me so well. Accordingly, if i'm enrolled at CSU in the fall, I can be in his wedding. This was only a trap because he actually intended to invite me to be before the wager was placed.

Dave and I had a really great conversation, details of which won't be shared here. But, overall, it was basically about getting Steve back on path, and i'm honestly inspired by it...

I love that fool so much at the moment, and i'd tell you all about it, but theres little time left in the evening, and i've really got to get up early.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Sometimes, all you've got to do is ask, even as much as you don't want to.

p.s.s.- Case in point, Dolan is giving me my money tomorrow, even if I weren't man enough to ask today when I was there, Davie boy made me call him today, and ask for what was mine.

Well, I Fucked Up...

2005-03-02T20:15:00.000-05:00

Yeahp, fucked up pretty nicely this time.

Broke my computer. Like, seriously broke it.

Came home, and I was booting without video...

Had added a fan to my computer last night, was worried I accidentally unseeded the processor or RAM. So, took the RAM out, put it back in... Still, nothing. So, I tried to take the processor out, to reset it. Well, thats no easy ordeal with the modern cooling fan and heat sink. Unsnapped the unit, tried to pull it up... Nothing... I sort of gave up at that moment. Decided to just snap the unit back down, and give up for a while...

Thats when it happened. Pushing down on the levers that lock the the whole thing in place. I remember it being a tough thing to do when building the unit... Put in pushing down on it, the plastic frame snapped, cutting my thumb pretty well, as well as sliding the heatsink off the processor, which had fused from the heat. Which was nice, because it allowed me to reset the processor into the system... Tried to boot without the heatsink and fan on the processor, and now, the system tries to bootup... But just resets the power after a few seconds...

So, now i'm pretty well fucked.

If we assume it's just the board thats fucked, that's about $150... Processor, ehhh maybe another $250? Then of course, if we somehow fucked everything, with the power resetting as it is, thats not totally out of the question... $1,100... Merry Fucking Christmas.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Least it's West Wing night.

I Do Wonder Sometimes, How We Always Find Ourselves Here...

2005-02-27T04:39:00.000-05:00

How we find ourselves here, at this hour, so regularly...

I don't know why we find ourselves here. I really don't. Moments ago, I thought it was the allure of the solitude, the peaceful quiet that allows us to do what we care to. But, then, the tides stem towards loneliness. "I walk a lonely road, The only one that I have ever known, Don't know where it goes, But it's home to me and I walk alone." Green Day, Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Not that the concept is all that original, existentialism has been the root of many a song, mostly geared toward the angry teen crowd.

I actually have been using this time to catch up on the West Wing. Interesting interesting developments. I really enjoy the way they're switch hitting the focus between the white house and joush's one man campaign. Something to believe in, a base, an idol (not one on FOX), something to follow, something to believe in.

So, again, it's 6 am, and we find ourselves here. That statement in itself suggests a removal of control from the situation, where as I simply found myself here, and didn't put myself here.

I hold the reigns, I turn the screws, and yet the horses are going no where, and the drill stares back at me longingly.

I know the answer, but it's really the question that fills my preoccupation.

The answer is really quite simple... Something, anything, as long as it's progressive. As, long as it's an attempt at forward motion, i'll be moving in the right direction.

For me, thats all for now, the wicked never rest, but the rest of us tire after 17 hours.

-Rys4K

p.s.-
Hey there, got a dollar?
Hey there, want to play a game of chance?
Ohhh, you wonder of the prize?
What if I told you, everything, and anything?
What if I told you, that you could invest in me?
What if I took your money, and bettered myself?
What if the future me, became capable of change?
What if the change were of epic proportion?
What if I turned it all around, and flipped it upside down
What if I trimmed the fat, found a new way to skin the cat?
What if I were able to better it all, for all of us?
Would it be worth the risk, could you accept the danger?
So, I ask of you, perhaps you care to place a wager?

It's Not 6 AM, But, Why Not Come Out of The Woodwork...

2005-02-21T02:25:00.000-05:00

It's been some time, that was the most appropriate opening I could amass at this hour.

CJ Craig, a character in a fictional liberal utopia, struggles with the responsibility and pressures of a promotion forced by a frightfully painful looking heart attack. Josh learned you don't always have to achieve your current objective to win. Most importantly of all, I've found a new love for a show i'd accidentally written off. It litterally amazes me how much time I waste distracting myself with things I don't need, things without any real intrinsic value. Yes, i could leave work, stop on the way home for any of my various favorites on my personal fast food menu, and come home to 5 or 6 hours of Counter Strike. But, Why?

It's amazing how my lengthy bouts of depression are closely tied to Counter Strike. When I was without work in PA, I played Counter Strike a lot. It plays well to the ego. I happen to be pretty good at CounterStrike, most likely because I play a great deal. Playing well at Counter Strike makes me feel better about myself, because domination of another is fufilling is a very basic tribal fashion.

This sort of introspection conquers my conscious thought, well, what's avaliable of it these days. With all the self-loathing and what not, i've barely got time to consider the fact that my life is going no where. Not that I'm complaining though, i've wriggled so comfortably into a position where my life can prepetuate without motion. This would be an award worthly task for someone whose not entirely over qualified for it's horribly shameful stature. I'm better than this, yet I'm not.

It seems with all the planning and plotting I do, I'd be able to create a viable and feasible option to find my way out of this rut. I think I may have previously alluded to my interest in revision, Rys 2.0 as it were. No no no, the masses cried, we like the Rys we have. Which is all well and good, I know I'm loved, and honestly appreciate it more than the air I breathe. But, more important of course is the fact that I myself like Rys, whichever version we happen to label it.

Look at that, it is 6 am again. How... Deja Vu.

Heres the thing, i've got about a half a dozen plans for creating a newer happier me, but they all basically fall apart at the same moment every day. The moment I wake up in the morning. With general disgust I greet the day, mostly because there really are few mornings I wake up "on time". More so, I greet the day at random, whenever I happen to wake up. This doesn't help things, it really doesn't. I do tie my sleeplessness/excessive sleep to the depression, but there has really got to be a way past that too.

But, you know what? I can write. Even at my worst, I can write. I think I should focus on that really, that might just be the answer.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Sup all.

p.s.s- Yeah, i'm fine.

Another 6 AM Note...

2004-12-12T06:11:00.000-05:00

Just cause i'm up and in the mood and all.

Yeah, it's 6 am, and i'm done bitching about the insurance industry, and back to bitching about myself. So, i'm sitting here listening to LaunchCast Plus, whose subscription should soon run out, and a certain song comes on. Actually, many many songs have come and gone since I began writing. But, this particular song contained the lyric, Players wanna play and ballers wanna ball... I actually think it might be R. Kelly in retrospect. The pied piper of stagetory rape.

But, again, I came to this revalation. Bitches bitch, and that's all i've been doing lately. I'm consistantly angered by something, and vent about it profusely. At the moment, i'm going to bitch about Christmas. Currently, it's December 12th, and i've not bought a damned Christmas present yet. Yeah, if i'm on your gift list, don't get your hopes up about the recieving end. Not only is my license situation making me extremely agoraphobic, where as I won't drive on the highway, but i'm also pretty much broke. Obviously I'm making not making nearly as much money at Lusso as I was at Brisk. I'd like to say i'm happier, but I doubt that's really true either. Welcome back to the binds of perpetual discontent. We're so apt and able at change, yet I let apathy take hold. I don't have a plan, I don't have a goal, i'm living day to day, and slowly striding towards the eventual end. Really not all that cheery and bright an outlook when you consider it. I've been waiting forever for these things to just get better, but... hell, I don't know if I can even find the horizon anymore, let alone that pot of gold.

I'm a realist. The carrot doesn't drive me. I know I don't have the answer, but I feel like I may have a few ideas... I feel college is the right path at the moment. It'd allow me to further my knowledge base, specified towards a career, accredit me accordingly, and widen my social borders. When I say widen my social borders, i mean find a smart attractive young woman who appreciates my abilities and looks past my downfalls.

BUUUUUTTTTTT, of course, here rises the pesimist in me.

I don't have the money. I just don't. I don't make enough to afford it. I don't have the credit score to secure a loan, and i'm of the wrong gender, race, and / or sexual preference for any real scholorship / grant opportunities. Even better, if I did have the money, i'd have to first pay off my outstanding debt accrued from my first year of college. To further that, i'd have to find a college that'd accept me. My lackluster performance in highschool didn't produce the sort of transcripts that'd interest an accredited university, and I can't even remember how i did in lil ol' CCAC. Not to mention that they're not going to release my records with them until they collect their sachel of silver.

So, I wonder what the first step is. I was actually considering contacting as many liberal celebrities as I could think of, and basically begging for money. That idea what short lived, I really don't have the right to make that sort of request of another, simply because they've achieved somewhere along the line.

I was thinking about just going up to CSU on Monday and stopping in, and informing them that i'd like to attend. Basically see where that takes me.

One last story, and then i've really got to find my way to bed.

It was St. Patty's Day, 2000. And, before I got drunk, I had business to attend to. Mind you I was 18, but already a pretty decent drinker. I went up to Duquesne University in good ol' PA, and sat down with the president of their admissions department. I don't remember how I ever chose Duq. or even better how I got to see the president of admissions without an appointment, but I do remember sitting down with her. I was great. I was relaxed, and respectful, and charming, and well spoken, charasmatic and exemplary. She loved me, she was almost hiking up her skirt and bending over her desk, inviting me to join their elite little university. That is until the ghost of academic past reared it's ugly head in the most tangible and perminent manner, through my highschool transcripts. Then the conversation took a turn for the worse. There was talk of some remedial monitored program, which didn't allow for any scholarships, and the option of attending a community college, and coming back in two years with my undeserving tail between my legs. The first half of that meeting was fun, the second half resulted in a drunken stooper over the next 8 hours.

Sometimes life is that way.

-Rys4K

p.s.- We raise our glasses, and toast to the Rys4K I could be.

Wasn't That Just a Cliff Hanger?

2004-12-12T04:39:00.000-05:00

As if it caused you to wait in anticipation...

Yes, it's been some time. What have I been up to? Well, beyond obviously not writing, nothing much. Honestly, I wouldn't lie to you all, my devote followers...

Been actively ducking the police. As much as i've not been a fan of them in the past, I've now gained what's known as a rational fear. Where as, previously, my fear and hatred of the police was considered an irrational fear, simply because it was without a solid basis. Not that the police have ever done anything positive that directly affected me.

Wanted to talk about this a moment. It's obviously bothering me and all. This epic struggle dates back to 1953...

Ohio's financial responsibility law: The financial responsibility (FR) law, which took effect October, 1953, is NOT a compulsory automobile insurance law. No motorist is forced to buy auto liability insurance. The law DOES require drivers to be insured or have other arrangements to pay for injuries or damages they cause in the event of a crash. The law provides protection against irresponsible drivers.

Took that right off the BMV's website. Considerably, i've never been in an auto accident.

It's not that I don't understate the concept of insurance. I do, really, I do. The problem I have with the insurance industry is that it's become overly bastardized. Currently, they all play the same game, and control the market. Let's take a look at what is taken into consideration when an insurance company considers ... Age, Sex, Race, Car's Make/Model/Year, Enviroment, Credit Score, and Commision. Of course, there's got to be the middle man agent making his monthly cut off your ass, for selling you more than you need, to pad his own pockets. Back in my one year of college, my Sociology class taught me one thing... Almost all racist, sexist, and ageist bigotry is statistically supported. Yes, minorities are more likely to be criminals. Does this mean you should treat every minority like a suspect? OF COURSE, as long as you're an officer of the law. So, we've got federally mandated insurance laws, which are only legal because there's huge dollars in the the insurance lobby for your favorite politicans. Proof, come on now, do I ever support these outrageous claims with some sort of evidence? Ok, you got me, maybe just this once... How's about, the biggest individual contributor here in good old Ohio was Peter B Lewis of Progressive Corp who donated $22,997,220... Think he may have some sort of interest in buying the right candidate? Well, how about this statistic. Placing Number 8 out of the industries that donate comes Insurance who in the Presidential election alone donated $37,582,666 where as 31% of the money went to the Democratic candidate and 69% went to the asshole in office. Hope your industry is happy with who you bought, because the rest of us aren't...

So, the insurance industry pays off the government to maintain the right to mandate laws requiring individuals to buy their product. Imagine if big tobacco got in that game?

Even better when the insurance company "calculates risk" we on bottom get shit on the best. Yes, the price tag is highest for those who can't afford the product. Personal example, at one point in time, I was paying 10% of my monthly income to auto insurace. I'm close to the bottom, but it gets worse. Imagine if I were a young africian american male, living in a poor neighborhood, who'd finally saved up enough money to buy himself a new shiny bright red Toyota Camary. His isurance would be more expensive than his car. And why? Ohhhh no logical reason, beyond statistics and all. This young man could be the one to cure cancer, he could be the brightest mind in the nation, but none of that matters. He could be the safest driver in the world, considerate and focused at all times, but they don't care about that either. They want their money.

It's a business, shit what isn't a business these days. Therefore, they've got what is called a "profit margain". Now, the best part about the industry is that their product is a necessity. Not like, ohh I need those new LeBron kicks or i'mma get my ass beat at school, this is one of those government / police will take you down if you're without products. They've got a pretty damned large market. But, they're all about the money. They'll do everything in their power to not fufill your policy if ever something were to go wrong. The policy itself is a complex as the US Tax Code, and full of even more loop holes. I'm sure it's their policy to deny all claims initially for those in high risk demographics.

This arguement is like every other I ever make. It's the big guy picking on the little guy to get himself further ahead. And you know what the worst part is? We all fucking just fall in line. Like sheep amongst the trough, we all get in line and get fucked in time. Wait, what? You don't feel like you're being taken advantage of? Well then, let's play it like the insurance industry, and close with a statistic. The average price of auto insurance has risen every year for the past 20 years. 15% of people will never be in an automobile accident. 54% of people will never be at fault in an automobile accident.

Therefore, if you were born 18 years ago, 1986 for those not playing along at home. And, you're insured from your first to last day driving over the next 60 years, paying the current average for auto insurance, $2800 a year, adjusted for inflation and reduction over time with record and age... You'll have burned just under $170,000 in your life time. That's a mighty nice home there, well excluding "property tax" and "home insurance"...

The system was designed to hold you down, and empower those on top. Best of all, you're doing absolutely nothing about it.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Life doesn't have to be this way, we allow it to be.

It's 6 AM on a Sunday...

2004-11-28T05:58:00.000-05:00

The world stands still and silent, yet my mind races on...

Been an interesting couple of days. Not all positive, not all negative, a weird blend of events that leave me where I stand. I don't know where to start our little confessional here. I need an old priest and a new priest... See, that's an Exorcist reference, we drown real emotion or expression in humor. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way.

I'd like to tell you where this all began, but again, i'm really not sure. We could root it back to something simple and drab, some stupid childhood memory that I can barely recall, but I don't know that there would be any truth or insight in it. I can tell you I got lit on Wednesday.

Yes, as often do they. This little anecdote starts with me getting drunk. I like it, it's fun. I'm pretty sure it's not healthy, and I know I smoke more when I drink, overall it seems like a bad idea. Theres a certain balance involved though, where as we weigh the effects and consequences of our actions verse the possibility for a good time. Usually, and when I say usually, it's because there is really never a guarentee or anything, usually we have a pretty good time. Really the evening began considerably earlier. I jumped out of work about an hour early, to make the Cavs game with J. Note, this was last Wednesday, LeBron put up a career record 43 points, and I was there. Then we went east. Tales of the east side. 185th and all, 185th and all the troubles it's known to bring. As is the American way, we'd assembled a colition of the willing. That's actually a poor term for the situation, because we basically kidnapped Dave. We went to Cebar's looking for Laurich, but it was packed so wall to wall, that we never made it through the door. We drifted down to Juniors, where no one ever wants to go because everyone always goes. It was suprisingly empty, not empty so much, as just not excessively full as it usually is. I could list the dozen plus people I ran into that I didn't want to, but such is the way the day before a major holiday. Either way, eventually we found Laurich, and ended up having a great time. I don't dance, I don't really like to dance, I'm tall and white and lanky and unco-ordinated and what not. But, there is something about the Laurich's that bring out the party in people. It's "interesting".

Either way, we eventually made it home. It was something like 3 am. The hour of sickness as we call it. We call it that, because at that hour, we induce vomiting to regain balance. It's not a pretty ordeal, and often the result of excess. But, who can call excess, you've got a bottle in your hand, you take that bottle down, this is the understanding. So, to continue this evening of poor descision making, I called an old friend. She was under the same state of mind, drunk and lonely as it were. So, she comes over, and hangs out for the evening.

That wasn't what we like to refer to as a "good descision". It didn't go well. I wasn't in a place physically where I could handle that sort of excitement, and sucessfully further ruined my evening. I've come to realize this sort of topic is something you've got to spend an entire post on to cover sufficiently, not that it's something I really want to talk about.

So, then it's Thursday. Thanksgiving. I woke up about 11 when she left. Jay was already gone. Made a call or two, established that there weren't any plans on the day. And, moved on to the couch, turned on CNN, and fell asleep. I woke up somewhere around 6 pm. Another day wasted. I was pretty pissy about it. I hate sleeping through days, as much as I feel like i'm wasting time normally, atleast when I'm awake I'm consciously making the descision to waste time. Not to mention I could've seriously dug on some turkey and stuffing. As much as I dislike the holiday season, I like the classic thanksgiving feast. Anywho, I jut over to 117th, and come to the serious and dastardly conclusion, that it's a holiday and everything is closed. Litterally. Nothing is open, so I hook back around, and head to Detroit. My favorite little chinese joint seemed like a decent recluse for the situation at hand. CLOSED. Damned the socialization and americanization process and how quickly we force everyone to be like us. Fortunately, the Greek crowd doesn't fall into line as quickly, so it was a Gyro sort of Thanksgiving. I was bitter and butthurt. Only cause the gyro was really crap. Eventually, I crash out, and find my way to Friday.

Work Friday, worked a lot on Friday. I worked 11 hours. I don't do that often, especially considering that the bulk of those 11 hours were spent painting. Which, i'm getting better at. So, i'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my Friday night. I didn't want to go out drinking again, cause that grows old, and I still resented my actions or shortcomings from Wednesday. Ahhh resent, you evil motherfucker. So, i'm sitting around, playing a lil CS:S, Counter Strike Source, the original counter strike, on the Half Life 2 engine. It's super fucking pretty, and a lot of fun. And, I get the call. I'd been waiting for the call, but i kind of assumed it'd never come.

I'm going to continue this tomorrow. I'm finally ready to sleep, got a little stress of my chest, and the exhaustion really set in.

Till Tomorrow Then,

-Rys4K

I'm Starting Another Fund Raiser...

2004-11-18T21:28:00.000-05:00

This one, with even greater effect and intent than the Send Steve Back to College Fund...

On Janurary 20th, 2005 the offical Presidential Inauguration will be held in Washington DC, I believe it my duty to attend. On that day, the will of real american's will be stolen away for another four years, and I can not allow myself to not take part in the protest of such an act. I am willing to wager that it shall be the largest political debate in history. More will stand up to voice their dissent than in the period of the Vietnam war.

No longer will we, the patriotic few stand by and allow our freedoms to be fleeced and leased to corporations and their greed. No longer will we stand idly by and allow these facists to dictate what rights we have as Americans. These are not the times for the small minded.

We can no longer accept the personal ideology of one person to lead this country. Especially not one who spent the greater part of his life as an alcoholic, nor one that is so dependant on his faith.

This is time for real leadership, and real dissent, from real Americans.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I'm like G.I. Joe biach... A real american hero...

I'm Having a Really Bad Day...

2004-11-15T20:59:00.000-05:00

I just wrote 2400 words, and blogger just erased them.

I have beer to attend to.

-Rys4K

This is My Good-Bye to These Divide States of Embarassment...

2004-11-06T22:58:00.000-05:00

I can no longer take part in this hypocrisy...

I hear Canada is nice this time of year, I guess it's a lot less cold than we all assume. I'll have to consult the cartographers for social equality, as i'm sure it's one of the many things they keep up on.

Yes, that was a West Wing reference, but they happen to exist.

I'm done being angry. I was angry for almost a week now. Well, actually I've been angry for much longer than that. Now, i'm sickened and disappointed.

I can't believe these people exist, or even worse, they exist as the majority. I've always been one for dissent, and of the minority opinion, but of recent, the stakes got too high. I wish I would have done more. I wish I could have done more. I wish any action i'd of taken, would have really made a difference. Well, actually, I could've shot Bush, then Chenney, but I don't know that that would've really made a difference. Well, actually I doubt I would've been successful, or survived.

Lets do something realistic, let's take a look at the numbers... The statistical mishaps...

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/states/US/P/00/epolls.0.html

Consider that these are based off of exit polls, and are generally useless, and are only the opinion of 13,660 Respondents.

These statistics represent the trends we expected.

Let's talk about the one that really piss me off.

We'll start with one you'll not see on this page, the landside victory of bigotry...

75% to 25% was the margain at which a CONSTITUTIONAL FUCKING AMMENDMENT, "PROTECTING" the concept of marriage, to be constrained to the classic definition , between a man and a woman was passed.

Not to suggest that it's the ultimate doctrine of law, but it's really quite close. How can you justify such a small minded act, reflecting such a small minded ideology. I think i've mentioned in the past that i'm "gay friendly" or what I like to refer to as a reasonable fucking human being. Next, these Fascists will tell those of varied other races that they believe that nature didn't intend for them to marry. Not to suggest this flood-gate syndrome, where as everything is over exaggerated to draw a contrast. These are PEOPLE, human beings, like you and I. More over, Marriage doesn't need protection from them, it needs protection from everyone. When the divorce rate rises above 50%, I don't think excluding homosexuals from this legal binding is the answer. This is just America's way of saying i'm better than something else. This is bullshit.

I was going to move to Canada. I was going to fold. I was going to abandon the fight, and just let those in power stay in power.

But with my fist in the air, i'll defy everything i'm against, until my days end.

I shall never give up, nor concede, I know my fight is the good fight, and you better watch your ass if you oppose me.

That's it.

-Rys4K

p.s.- As much as i'd assumed it in the past, it's good to know i'm better than the majority...

p.s.s- Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. -Dylan Thomas

I Know Your Afraid, I Know Why Your Afraid, But It Doesn't Excuse Your Actions...

2004-11-05T10:06:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to the Republicans...

Your lies and fear mongering bought you another 4 years of Fascism.

You've scared the rural and retarded into falling in line. Fifty million degenerate dominoes tumbling over one another to assure this madness. You lied, they believed, you won. Congratulations! I understand why you did, if you ever told the people the truth, they'd rise up and destroy you.

You told them Kerry would take away their guns, and the terrorists would win. I'll tell them that daddy's shotgun is no match for my TEK-9, and that the terrorists are only as strong as they are because your buddies in Saudi Arabia are dumping more money in them then your failing oil companies.

It doesn't matter yet, we're still all fucked for the moment. But, a true patriot will expose you, and i'll be on the front line to take you down.

-Rys4K

p.s.- You want fear, fear the lies they spew.

I'm So Proud Of Myself At The Moment...

2004-11-02T14:09:00.000-05:00

I voted, i've got the sticker to prove it.

I'm rather sure my vote will be challenged though, because I never recieved my registration card, with my voting information. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that i'm not receiving my mail either.

Damned Republicans, damned republicans and their lawyers...

One thing I did like though, there were a good 3 people outside asking me if everything went ok. Genuinely inquiring if I had any problems or confrontations inside. After which I had a nice 5 minute conversation with one about how outdated our voting system is. India is doing it for 38 other countries at $500 a unit, imagine the value of election without suspicion?

But, that'll never happen, those in control will do everything they can to stay in control.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I've got this other therory where as either my neighbor upstairs, or Jay misplaced my registration confirmation... But, my usually cynical mind sways towards conspiracy...

I'm Fucking Angry... Angry... Pissed... Et Fucking Cetra...

2004-11-02T01:23:00.000-05:00

Probably only half as much as I'll be tomorrow.

It's 1:30 am, I'm tired, and I don't want to be writing this. I stood for four hours in the cold to watch the man I believe can save us. I'll talk about that some other time, although I must say, it was really funny when the big scary gay guy grabbed Davie Boy's ass.

Beyond that, i'm pissed, if I had not mentioned it. Why? Let's see, Republicans lie. I don't believe they even make an effort to mearly misinform anymore, they just fucking lie. Not to mention of course that Democrates aren't man enough to call them on it.

Let's get a little more specific here. First, I'm on the way home from Mom's, where I ditched my car before the movie, which I'll also mention later. Any how, the Buick is a piece of shit, so I needed more gas. Not that it wasn't at a quarter tank before I drove all of 15-20 miles east. Any how, if I'd forgotten to mention it some how in the past, Euclid's just a little ghetto. That's an understatement, like saying George Bush is just kind of an asshole. Anyhow, there is this dirty fat chick hanging out at the gas station, and when I first approached her, I tried to play nice, I really did. I was actually at a good mood at this point in time. Made some mini-small talk while the women behind an inch thick plexiglass tracked down my pepsi.

I mentioned, in passing really, that I was out at the Kerry rally. And, she said something that was not only untrue, but amazingly retarded. "You take a lemon, and cut it in half, one half is Kerry's brain, the other half is Bush, put two halves together and we might have something." Now, this was just poor, but also a little unclear. So, I suggest that there are signifigant differences between the candidates on all fronts, but most apparently on domestic issues. She said, they really both stand for the same thing. I just looked at her... She even went as far as to blatently declare that Kerry was trying to destroy our right to free speech. I almost lost it. She said to me that it wasn't something he said recently, but something he said when running for office two years ago. Now, my memory is a little unclear here, but I think I might of actually stabbed her. So, I mentioned that Kerry wasn't running for president two years ago, CAUSE THERE WASN'T A FUCKING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IN 2002. Then, I took a breathe and said to her...

"I don't mind that you seem to disagree with me on a few issues, what really bothers me is how uninvolved and uninformed you are. We live in a modern age where mass media gives us all access to each candidate and issue. I don't care if you do so through MTV or CNN, but atleast do a little research before you pretend to formulate an opinion."

That put me in a rather foul mood. It really bothers me a lot. It's not hard to try to stay informed or worldly.

But, then let's move forward to the media betraying the people.

Eminem is a prominent figure of pop culture. He's a natural descenter, and amazingly popular. He's lyrically and musically gifted. Honestly, he's got the midus touch when it comes to the music industry. Recently, he made a video for a new song of his called Mosh.

This is the link:

http://launch.yahoo.com/artist/videos.asp?artistID=1037847

Take a moment, watch it. More importantly, listen. On his previous LP, Eminem put out a track called "White America" which was critical of the governments actions towards free speech suppression and repression. This is much more direct, and has a great message laced within.

This is a great video and a powerful song, by an amazing artist. Yet, we don't see it on MTV. We don't hear it on the radio, and no one has real access to it directly. There is only one vulgarity precisely placed within the song. As an artist with an opinion, he was repressed.

This is bullshit.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Republicans aren't bad, in therory. Just like Socialism or Communism aren't all that bad in therory, but this bastardized version we're recently submitting to is enough to drive someone like me insane.

I've Tasted All The Colors of The Rainbow...

2004-10-30T19:08:00.000-04:00

Cheers to a stupid ass bet, and my inability to deny it...

Well, now this story is not nearly as long, or interesting, but still some how worthwhile...

Pink, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, and Purple. Yes, for reference, I know those aren't the actual colors of a rainbow. But, they made due. They made due for our purposes last evening.

Point of reference, if you're ever at a bar, and you happen to be the only one in your small group that is not in fact a bartender, it would be in your best interest to order your own drinks. Keep a strong grasp on your destiny, especially in matters like these. So, that's how it started. It seemed so innocent at first. I was at the bar with Jay, and we'd finally gotten our stools back, those which we've deemed ours after consistant abuse week in and week out. I shot a plus 8 on Golden Tee, but we were playing Pro Courses, so that didn't seem so horrible. And, to our right, or nearest to my stool, sat the yuppies. Early middleager, late 20's intrigued by their own little political banter. Amazingly enough, they were democrates, but that nice snooty elitest type. Now, I could usually take these people down with slighted comments and caustic remarks, but I was already a little drunk when we'd sat next to them. So, we engaged in minor conversation, and I did my best to hit on the gentlemen's girlfriend, it's all I could do to hold my own, and still be a bastard. If you couldn't deduct it on your own, I didn't really enjoy their company. Jay honestly didn't seem all that interested either, but sometimes you've got to take what you can get, and we didn't have much of a crowd to choose from. Now, I'd like to point out that McNamara's isn't the sort of place you can watch CNN at, so I had no idea about the Bin Laden tape until today. Either way, the elitests to my right started in on me about drinking Miller Lite. As if what I chose to drink were any indication of who I am as a man. These are the type of people that believe if you are able to pronounce a beer's name, you shouldn't drink it. Because Fraugenheimer Lager sounds all that appealing. Either way, I chucked caution to the wind, and let the lot of them choose.

Accordingly, their only prerequistes for such a task were that it were something "Fu-fu", pink, and contained atleast 3 liquors. Linda, the bartender at the moment, served me something serious. Something seriously pink. It was sweet and tart, and filled with liquor. It scorched down the back of my throat like someone light each sip individually a blaze. I'm not sure if someone pictured the challenge before it began, or if the rules we're made up as we went along, but Linda approached as the glass emptied, and asked, which color came next?

Blue, blue came next. I don't know what it consisted of, but it had much of the same qualities as it's pink predecessor. This is where the rainbow theme seemed to stem from. I knew at this point I was in some trouble, I guess I could've assumed the consequence of these actions, but I rather have just roll with it. I don't know if you've heard this therory or not, but I guess alcohol is capable of impairing judgement.

Blue went down a little smoother, or faster, or made less of an impression on me. I took Green on like it was a young catholic school girl. For all rational sake we'll call that a slight lapse in judgement. The first gulp of green slapped me like a bitch then said degrading things about my mother. I litterally began to choke, and thought I was going to share the multi-colored wonderment my stomache held with all of the bar's population. To say it was sour, Sour isn't capable of expressing how rough this was. My throat tried to close, to protect my body from this absinthe allusion, but my will wouldn't let it. Check that, we'll call it ego over will, or something of the sort. Not that there was anyone worth impressing at the bar, but when the tender lays down the gauntlet, you've got to step up. So, green went down slow and painful, bitter and demented. Next came... Yellow.

Yellow was good, yellow was nice, yellow was basically all red bull, yellow pulled me back into the game. Red Bull is popular for good reason. I grabs hold of your body, and straps in tight. It holds you steady, and keeps you straight. Its been called liquid cocaine for good reason, it's rumored to have many of the same qualities. I could imagine it to be litterally the liquid incarnation of cocaine, I mean, it tastes like chemicals, that's really it. There is probably not a single organic substance to be found amongst it's ingredients lablel. I hear there is actually a ban of carbon based materials within a one mile radius of the factory. Either way, yellow went down pretty quick, and inspired me to finish this marathon.

As much as yellow picked me up, orange put me down twice as hard. Mindi came on to the scene moments before orange was announced. I don't know if it was the catholic school girl outfit, which might I add is a fine Halloween costume, as well as exceptionally sluttly, both which I enjoy. Now, I think orange might have been her way of punishing me. See, in my drunken stooper I wasn't making my normal effort to disguise the titty stare i've perfected over the years. Not that someone in a bustier can really take offense to someone staring at what they're laying out on a pedestal, especially in a low brow bar. As it were, orange wasn't all that orange. Orange was sort of dark and dingy, like a brownish orange, full of ill will. It tasted of whiskey, massive ammounts of whiskey... Every sip tasted and felt like a kick to my already heavily churning stomache. I'm not afraid to admit that I wasn't without help with this one, Jay took a few heavy hits to help with the load.

After a little discussion in the back room of the bar, Purple was delivered. Finally a little empathy for my broken dreams, it was purple, it was really purple, but didn't seem to include any alcohol. It had a little fizz to it, and took me a little while to complete, but eventually I took it down. Jay ordered me some water, and when that subsided, we were off. I was struggling. The red bull did well to keep me relatively conscious, but physically I was in shambles.

Finally we were home, and I was able to let go, let loose, and let the liquor take hold. It swamped through my veins, and rustled my thoughts into one distracted consciousness. I couldn't hold on any longer, I fell off the couch, and Jay told me it was time to let it all go. So, to the bathroom I went. We all knows what comes next. Theres no need to describe it, really there isn't. Though, I will tell you, when mushed together all the colors of the rainbow come out brown and sort of chunky...

Well hell, I guess I did describe it and all. Either way, i've got to get a shower because the liquor is sweating out of my pores. Not to mention of course, that I've got to get ready to do it all again in less than an hour.

Rys4K

p.s.- In this crazy world, nothing is funnier than a terrorist in a turbin mocking an asshole in office for reading a children's book about a goat...

A New Simplistic View...

2004-10-28T01:29:00.000-04:00

I wanted to change the look.

I wanted to change the look of the blog. Something smaller and more simplistic to emphasize the whats here, and not what it looks like.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Someone put my laundry in the dryer before it rots.

It's Not a Post, It's a Commitment...

2004-10-27T14:28:00.000-04:00

While I believe it's more than worth your while, that's for you to decide...

So, I didn't intend to write 3300 words, but let's see if you can maintain the constitution to read them...

-Rys4K

p.s.- Heh, and the worst part is... IT'S ALL TRUE!

p.s.s- Well, not all of it... But, most of it =0P

I Think We Have Come To The End Of The Road...

2004-10-18T10:17:00.000-04:00

I actually had to force myself to come into the office this morning...

This can't be a positive thing. Today, Today I think is the day for making change.

-Rys4K

p.s.- This is a horribly short post.

I Don't Often Do This... This is NOT The Reason I Have a Blog

2004-10-17T18:22:00.000-04:00

But, at times you must make exceptions...

My blog's original intent is to share my radical and outrageous, yet passionate and barely considered, view points with this massive beast of an internet. Or, my few loyal fans, consisting almost entirely of my immediate family. I don't want to propagate viral marketing, or share links to stupid videos of dancing cats, or shit like that that clutters the net. I've never forwarded an email to more than 2 people, and it was on a professional subject matter.

What I mean to say is... This is just not how I usually get down.

BUUUUUTTTTTTT, once in a while you find something you've really got to share.

Follow this link...

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2652831

Don't ask questions, don't wonder where i'm sending you. Follow my word like it's law. This is a beautiful act, that I some how missed when it had originally happened.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I'll give a little follow up and expansion on this a little later on, right now, i've got to go burn a CD...

p.s.s- Yes, for those of you who were wondering, I was in fact stealing something new.

I'm Pretty Sure God Never Intended Me To Be A Laborer

2004-10-16T14:35:00.000-04:00

That's about the nicest way to say i'm a mighty big punani...

What a playful and fun word punani is... Either way, it's about quarter after 2, and I just woke up. As believeable as that statement seems, I actually woke up originally at about 6:53 this morning. Threw some clothes on, put on the coat, jumped in the car and started driving. Lou was mighty surprised by my call at 7:15, I only called because the lights were still out in his place, and we were supposed to be starting at 8. No, not by choice, neither Lou or I enjoy the fresh morning air, and both would do everything in our power to not greet the world before the sun rose. But, the cement truck was due at 8, cause thats when it was avalible. So, I swung by the Phoneix down on Detroit, which I came to learn is actually not owned by Carl.

Either way, I don't believe i've ever used a wheel barrow... Actually, I think it's wheel barrel, which seems a bit more logical and all. Even more so, i've never used a wheel barrel to cart cement. Concrete more specifically, which I recently learned is more like cement ++, for those coders out there. I couldn't have carted more than a dozen loads over the period of 45 minutes, but it definitely whipped my ass. I felt like a perocial school student with poor handwriting. The fore arm, the bicep, the lower back, the "sweet breads" of the back, all of which I have and all, but lay dormient and unused most of the time were put to task, and put to test. Now, it's not that I didn't contribute my fair share, Lou and I switch hit loads with opposing barrels, and I went toe to toe with him and all, but I'm pretty sure the guy with the cement truck was giving me shallow loads. After that excitement, I handled some business more my speed.

I took a nap. No, not really, I mean I did, but first I handled the problem with the LussoCosmetics.com email server. As it were, the messages on the email server when auto forwarded were left to compile on the server itself. Point of fact, over the past four months, a good 350+/- megs had compiled. Not, when you consider a plain email, with just text is all of 10-15k, that's scary. The reasoning behind it, spammers like to send massive email offers to any email addresses posted on the web. Like, if I put Steve@FuckYourOpinion.com on my blog here, some stupid spider or bot or crawler, or however you'd like to tag it, would eventually come across it, and enter it into it's parents database. So, being as all of the half dozen email addresses Lou has are infact in plain english on his site, or in as mailto: links, he recieves thousands of spam emails. Most of which he actually never really recieved though, the biggest culprit, equating to about 280 of the estimated 350 megs was the main address on the account. An address that's gone unretrieved since the begining. Accordingly, an email addressed to an account that didn't exist on his domain was conviently forwarded there. So, Steve in his epically capable deductive reasoning was able to solve the issue in a good 15 minutes, re-establishing all the addresses, with absolutely no down time, not to mention programing a nice bounce back message for all of those sending email to random addresses at his domain.

Damn I'm good, well, damn i'm good at what i'm good at, and capable of about everything else...

-Rys4K

p.s.- Wow, as much as I brag about being well spoken, that there was just poor.

p.s.s.- I also like to abuse the idea of the "post script, not even tagging the acronym appropriately. As well as an abundant absurd abuse of alliteration.

It's mifdnight, and I'm pretty sure I should be sleeping...

2004-10-15T00:58:00.000-04:00

But something inside says "Perhaps you should write something before people stop checking..."

It's midnight and I'm pretty sure I should be sleeping. I've not seen my office in two days, and I should be making preparations for day ahead. There is business to be done and all, I've got 4 or 5 dozen clients that truely do rely on me being in the office. As trivial as it may seem to some, I gave these people my word that i'd be there for them, and that isn't something you take lightly.

Of recent, I've been constantly annoyed and/or upset. I know the holidays are coming, and theres really nothing ever joyous about them. I'm not broke, but the rent is due tomorrow, and i've grown tired of sweating the small shit. I'm tired of being in a place where i'm under appreciated. Overall, hell i'm just tired most of the time.

I'm tried of hearing our president lie to us, I can't stand to watch him insult or discredit anyone who disagrees with him. Since when did liberal become such a horrible thing?

As do we do so often, once more we fall back to dictionary.com

lib·er·al ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lbr-l, lbrl)adj.
1.) Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
2.) Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
3.)Of, relating to, or characteristic of liberalism.
3-A.) Liberal Of, designating, or characteristic of a political party founded on or associated with principles of social and political liberalism, especially in Great Britain, Canada, and the United States.

Honestly, what seems so evil or weak about that? Let's compare it to... Conservative?

con·ser·va·tive ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kn-sûrv-tv)adj.
1.) Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.
2.) Traditional or restrained in style: a conservative dark suit.
3.) Moderate; cautious: a conservative estimate.
4.) Of or relating to the political philosophy of conservatism.
4-A.) Belonging to a conservative party, group, or movement.
4-B.) Conservative Of or belonging to the Conservative Party in the United Kingdom or the Progressive Conservative Party in Canada.

Very well then, seems innocent enough, until you consider the fact that this world doesn't slowly turn.

We're at a point in time where the world is evolving at such a pace we can't have some leader who stands resolve in an old world mentality...

Guess what? Some people are gay, yeah, and most of them are really good/kind/open hearted/open minded people. They're not the victim of some plague or illness, and you turning your brow down to them only makes you their bitch. That's right, gay people own on republicans. For those who don't happen to know me, I am in fact straight and all, but it doesn't mean that other's shouldn't be able to live how they care to. I almost slapped Jay the other day, he and I get a little heated about the debates. See, I'm independant and open minded, liberal as they call us these days... And, he... He's wrong, ignorant, and confused... Republicans as they're commonly known...

He had the audacity to say to me "The bible says homosexuality is wrong"... I literally almost slapped him, if it didn't draw such a strong parallel to the discussion I've been having for a good year and a half now. As Reilly mentioned, our political view points are multiplied in an election year, and exponentionally so in a swing state. It's 2 AM, I wanna see Girls Gone Wild and Hot Chat Line commercials, not some political rhetoric. Anywho, back to Jay and the bible dogma... My reply... "Yeah, no, the bible is wrong on a lot of things."

I'm going to rant about the bible here, then the electoral college idea. The bible, the bible as you and I know it, is just about the 20th rendition of a work of fiction, which has been translated about 6 times, and was written recalling a story 120 years after it occured. Yeah, it's a nice story, and it's intended to teach people to live well. Actually, let's just come out with it... The functional view of religon, It's intended to control people. That's it, the bible, and your religion are intended to keep you in line. Obey, obey or you'll toil in the heated depths of hell forever. Sorry, but it's unrealistic. The only reason it stands, is because it's impossible to disprove, and it's following is too strong.

Another short rant, morality. There's only one absolute in the world, and that's it. The other night, I was enjoying a nice evening in with the family. And, they suggested that murder was wrong... I of course disagreed. Well, I do, sorry and all, but that's my opinion. Some people deserve to die. Hell, here's one for you... We'll hunt down the terrorists, and kill or capture them all. Does that not sound vengeful? How about a shock and awe campaign that kills hundreds of innocent women and children? Does this not seem like mass murder to anyone else? What, so we can install some government that'll eventually betray us? Sure, call it an election, hell we have elections, doesn't really mean a damned thing when you look at it. Do you have any idea how strong incumbency is?

How about the Electoral College? Again, in therory, it sounds good. It seemed like a good idea on paper... much like republicans or socialism. But, it's long been dated. The idea was that if we didn't assign each state a relatively equal ammount of votes, candidates would only campaign in the most populated areas. Conservatives, i'd like to welcome you to the 21st century, it's a nice place, you should stick around when you realize you're wrong. We live in a world of active media. Everyone has access to politicians these days. You can turn the TV to any station, and become misinformed by republicans. Without a massive media and communications network, it would seem reasonable to force the candidates to focus their attention in all areas. But, why now? Why do we allow the electoral college to make our descisions for us? Why not create a proprietary, sealed, and secure electronic system that worked by fingerprint, which tapped into a massive database to perform our elections for us? You say there is too much room for corruption, you say you need a paper ballot? Do you not have any conceptual understanding of how corrupt the system is already? I'm sorry to say this, but i have in the past, and I will again now... Your vote doesn't matter, my vote doesn't matter, those in control only allow us this feigned extension of our will so we don't rise up against them.

Speaking of corruption, I wanted to mention something that struck a little closer to home. The Northeast Ohio Regional Sewer District, which infact is a public utility company, which does in fact function off our tax dollars, just spent 18.2 million dollars on a new office. This might not seem bad, but the excess in spending is outrageous. They installed a water fountain in the lobby, which retailed at $130K. You know how many people you can feed for $130K? We are a city who has been struggling it's way out of debt for lord knows how many years, and this gross misconduct is allowed to occur? Someone, somewhere, of some power, had to sign off on this budget. God damn, I should just run for public office and get this shit in line.

Hell, if Dick Chenney can tell the United States Congress to fuck themselves a dozen times in a day, I'd be more than happy to do so to any elected offical that stood infront of me.

That's all from me for now, as i'd mentioned earlier, we've a long day ahead of us.

-Rys4K

p.s.- How many democrates do you know in the KKK?

p.s.s- The apathy of the American public is demonstrated every four years when the rich and religous decided who leads this nation. And there is nothing unamerican about standing up and saying so.

The Rys4K Lunch Hour Thought of the Day, for Monday October 4th...

2004-10-04T13:56:00.000-04:00

Not that we're good about doing things on a daily basis, we should refer to it as random thoughts...

I don't know where this came from, but I've come to believe those that appear crazy actually know the truth. Once more, we've already suggested there is no truth in that absolute sense, but I meant more so they've come to learn or understand something so incredulous that it drives them insane? Imagine you came to learn that some secret organization (we'll call them the Illuminati, for arguement's sake) orchestrated the attacks of September 11th, to propogate an enviroment of fear and control, to keep a corporately sponsored president (we'll call him Bush, just cause I think it's funny) in office / power / puppeted... This sort of knowledge would eat away the body and soul, and would be difficult to convey without sounding insane.

So, when you find yourself around someone who seems off their rocker, and not in that classic sense, ask them what secret they hold.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I should be working, but I should always be working...

The Concept of Truth...

2004-10-01T17:38:00.000-04:00

Another obscure theory inspired by too much coffee...

So, now, for the third blog of the day, we ramble about the concept of truth. It's an election year and all, so truth is as scarce as ever. Here's the thing though, there is no truth.

Wow, wide generalizations, you'll never hear one of those out of me...

And, in support of that idea... There is only one absolute, and that's it. Nothing, as in nothing, as in not a damned thing, can possibly be absolutely true. Think about it... Cause that usually leads to good things and all, thought for that matter. Your mind will first fall to the most simplistic reply, which is of course... The sky is blue, and the grass is green.

Yeah, the sky is sort of blue, but it's not. The sky is a shade of blue, and it's not the sky really so much as the atmosphere bouncing light back towards us that began at the sun, and bounced off the oceans. Hence the whole blue hue.

As for the grass, it's not green. Well, varieties of it aren't, blue grass does have a rather blue tint. And even that which does appear green isn't green, not in that declarative absolute sense...

This is seemingly getting thinner and thinner as a theory as I continue...

There's only one absoulte, and that's it. That's all i've got to say to defend my theory, because it's my theory and all, damned it.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Wonder if J has tired out by now?

Well Then, We've In Fact Become One of "Those" People...

2004-10-01T16:43:00.000-04:00

One of the army of coffee house liberal elitists.

Did you ever see that really poor movie "Duplex" staring Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore? At a certain point towards the middle of the film, where the "climax" is usually tucked away, there is a scene in a coffee house. Not just a coffee house, but a Starbuck's in Seattle where the inspired come to collectively feign an attempt at profit. Aspring writer's and struggling artists filled the boothes with laptops and napkins and other less common mediums, as our star Ben tried to finish his screen play under the deadline he was assigned. Overall, the movie was rather slow, and didn't do what good movies do best; make you care for the characters they lay out for your acceptace. I blame Danny Devito, as morose as he usually is, he let it slip a bit too loose in this display.

Either way, it lays our scene as appropriately as the next allusion. So, it's round about 5, here on the eastern coast atleast. Which is funny in itself, being as somehow we're both the east coast, and the midwest. I find myself in the Phoenix Coffee House on 21st and Superior, here downtown. I'm not soul searching, or seeking inspiration, or taking part in some lofty and barely relevant conversation... I'm honestly killing time, just waiting around, because at the moment, it seems inappropriate to go home. I'm sure I appear a lot more anxious or discontent than usual, worn through by another long day at the office. Hands shaking, in some combination of poor posture and that bitter white alkaloid known commonly as caffeine. The local legend Daffy Dan himself just made what i'm sure was his 20th appearance of the day, but he is a man of the people and all, and that does require a bit of effort.

While this is usually the oasis from the angst of the office day, we find ourselves sitting here trembling. Perhaps it's because the day was a bit long, or worthless, or daft... But, still I sit here vibrating. Some odd palpitation that starts in the back of my neck, or the spine, or the shoulder, that bounces through the brachium, and manifests itself so obviously physically in the hands. Nothing like a steady hand, to convey a sense of trust.

Back to the reason I'm here. Well, more accurately, the reason I'm not at home deciding what is the lesser of the regular evils to have for dinner. (I think it'll be chinese, chinese has a Friday night feel about it... Also, a Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/You get the point kind of feel) It's so easy to stray from the point I was making. Racheal, Jay's current signifigant other, had just made her way into town at about 3. Which means there's some rampant entertaining, in the dirtiest variation, going on. Sounds like fun, but not as a spectator and all. I really don't need to hear them going at it for a couple hours, when I can sit here, in a relative state of peace.

That's it for now from here, as i'd successfully burned a good 30 minutes, and can't even consider another topic at the moment.

-Rys4K

The Rys4K Offical Reaction to the First Presidental Presentation of the 2004 Defection...

2004-10-01T14:22:00.000-04:00

Wordplay and puns are for the elderly...

It's been about 12 hours since I disconnected. Finally, someone where close to 3 am, I pulled the plug on the political spin factory known as "coverage" after the initial debate. It was Lou Dobbs who originally stripped the title of "debate" from the setup we saw last evening. As impartial as men in his position attempt to appear, his tones waivered somewhere between distain and disgust as he described the rules agreed to by both parties. The supposively non-partisan, non-profit Commision on Presidential Debates, seemed to do it's best to stack all the rules in Bush's favor. Whats that? You'd like to see some evidence to support that claim? Check out their homepage, the only image that appears on it from the debate, features one of the very very few moments that Kerry was found frowning off camera. Perhaps they didn't have the time to extend the effort to find a "non-partisan" image of both candidates?

Either way, last evening I was busy working, trying to stay afloat in this staggering Bush economy, but I was able to have the debates on in the backround in an attempt at ambient entertainment. I really wasn't able to give it the full attention it deserved, but I did get to watch the highlight and split screen replay later in the evening. There were a few moments of note through out the debate, you could almost sense when something big were about to occur. For example, when Kerry, much to the dismay of those at FoxNews, took a moment to remind both the under/mis-informed American Population, and President Bush himself that Iraq did not attack us, nor did we find any direct links between Iraq and Al Queada.

While both candidates took a few pot shots and all, I couldn't call a winner, because i'd not paid close enough attention. Though, the coverage immediately afterward did clue us in mighty quickly.

I knew Kerry won when....

Directly after the debates, every Republican talked about what a good debate it was, and how it was exactly what American's deserved to see.

They didn't declare themselves the winner, because they knew they had lost, and couldn't hide it any other way.

From the replays, I think even Bush knew he lost while it was going on. At times he seemed choked up or lost for words, angered and frustrated, and over all inept. Sometimes it takes a little more than a few well rehearsed catch phrases and quotes, strewn between misrepresentations of the truth and slander to win a debate.

Not that this was a debate. This was a puppet show. How can you call it a debate when the candidates can't address each other directly?

How much better would it have been if Kerry could turn to him and say 'What the fuck were you thinking?'

That would've held my attention, even beyond transfering a pond.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I intend to go rally outside CWRU next Tuesday, maybe tell people that I slept with Chenney's daughter before she went lez. Then twice afterwards, when we went three way with her new "friend"...

The Rys4K Lunch Hour Thought of the Day, for Wednesday September 29th...

2004-09-29T13:29:00.000-04:00

Well hell, why not start a tradition...

I'm a realist, and one of the boundaries I set for myself as a realist is...

Everything you believe in, no matter how strongly, you must allow yourself to understand that you may in fact be wrong. There is only one absolute, and that's it right there. That's what bother's me about people, they believe a little too strongly, it's crazy to assume that you're completely right. Especially in the tones of religon, or your classical political hot buttons. It's extremely unrealistic to not leave room for error. When in fact, some time down the line, you come to know that what you believed so long is in fact inaccurate, the overwhelming sense of betrayl will be too much for your already recently weighted heart.

That concludes our thought for the day...

-Rys4K

p.s.- As a follow up: If you could prove that Jesus nor God ever exsisted, would you be able to share it with the world?

p.s.s.- Damn, I could've used that for tomorrow lunch thought...

Bush seemed like a decent guy...

2004-09-26T02:18:00.000-04:00

It's about 2 am, and I just heard Al Gore sigh. I can see the frustration in his face, and it's only debate number 1. Albeit this discussion occured just short of four years past. I don't know how I wasn't paying attention during the 2000 election, but I don't remember a lot of this. I just heard Bush declare that we must keep the ties with our friend's in NATO strong, in relation to getting Milosevic out of office after Serbia's first popular election. I think that was the biggest error on the part of the Democrats was to not play up Bush's incompitence. I also just heard Bush say he'd never use force to take Milosevic out of office. "Weather or not the mission was clear" It's amazing that this debate is some sort of foreshadowing to the failure's of the Bush in his only 4 years in the White House.

Good god, if I didn't know this guy, I might of even voted for him. Gore looks like a pansy, he's wearing heavy make up, and with every answer he shrugs his shoulder's to suggest that he has no idea if the declaration he's making is accurate. There is no cofidence there. That's where Bush was, and will always be strongest. His willingness to stand behind his descision. You could call him stubborn, you could call him mildly-retarded, but you can't suggest he's ever recanted a descision.

Honestly, if some how Bush steals another term, someone will kill him. Some great martyr to the glory that is these United States, and that what which we stand, would take 86 rounds from a dozen secret service members just to make sure this nation didn't have to struggle through another Bush presidency.

Someone needs to get a message to Kerry for me. One simple note, the secret to winning this election. Embarass, mock, demean, and shut him down... Do it hard, do it sure, and do it on night one, infront of all of America. Just lace into him. Rip into him about every mistake he's made, every promise he's broke, and DON'T SIGH! Beat him up, not for being rich, but for dumping money into his rich friends, and their businesses. Call him a liar, call him a their, and call him a fucking retard. And do it confidentially, don't stop until he walks off stage, and you get a free hour on every station in the states to tell the people why you're better.

Gore almost ran up and slapped Bush there, that was good. Here's what I don't like, The Republicans like to convience people that Democrates like big government, big government that makes your descisions for you. Republicans want to tell you that they want you to have your money, and to be able to make your own desicions, and just step back and let you thrive. What they don't say, is they're not talking about you. They're talking about themselves, and their multi-billionaire friends. They're talking about giving big business a sick amount of money, so they can change your mind, and distract you.

God, Gore looks like such a bitch. Gore, perhaps you shouldn't talk about Kaelie standing in a classroom, without a desk... Perhaps, perhaps, you shouldn't talk about your own shortcomings for the opponent. Bush is a salesman. He's not even considering the question, before he gives you the answer you'll be more comfortable with. I'm now not so amazed he won, he's pretty damned charasmatic.

Thing is, i'm not surprised, I'm not surprised that Bush won. I will honestly shit on myself if he some how takes the presidency again.

Why does Bush get the last word on every fucking question?

It's almost like everyone involved in this debate was handing it to him...

We've been robbed, we've been robbed for four years. There is no way we'll allow this to happen again.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I'm sure i'll be intently watching the debates, so look here for some updates, and seriously biased opinions...

So It's Sunday Night, and I Think I Might of Just Learned Something From Jay

2004-09-13T01:21:00.000-04:00

I'm actually still reeling in shock, as it's such an unregular occurance.

Yes, so we just learned what a facility manager is, and what function they perform in the professional circuit. Accordingly, in the off season, someone has to look after a professional arena or stadium. It's their responsibility to manage events and hire staff, trying to maintain a positive profit margain in the off season of the appropriate team's season. It's not hard to make money for the four months that the Brown's play, but the other 8 have to be filled in some fashion.

Why that's important, I don't know, it's barely on topic with what I was going to talk about in this post. Actually, I didn't really have a subject selected for our little interaction here.

So, it's Sunday night, and I'd pulled out my laptop to plan my week ahead... Or more so to shift about my calendar items, and put reminders on them so I actually get in touch with the people I was supposed to. Made an effort towards setting up email forwarding, to help sort and shift my email about. Not that I get an obscene amount of email, as this little blog of mine has yet to make me famous and all, but it's a nice way to aid me in keeping organized.

We've got a weird little omage to "American Gothic" going on here. It's like a modernized technologically enhanced version, but still has that feel to it. Let me lay the scene for you. Jay and I are both on the couch, he's got an XBOX controller in his hands, and his laptop open infront of him. I've got my laptop on my lap, with the remote to my other PC next to me, my cell under my thigh (just incase I get a text message, and don't hear it vibrate across the room) and four assorted remotes for various devices through out the room. I feel like I should have a jack in the back of my skull, so I can plug into my system and sync up all the various bits of porn and what not. In a Johnny Pnuemonic sort of way, except less damaging, and graciously less useful or imporatant. It's just an interesting scene we've found ourselves protraying and all.

Today was nice, I sat around and did nothing. It's really sort of refreshing, well it would be for that matter if it weren't so depressing. I'm sure you've heard the quote "Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. - Susan Ertz" it'd seem a bit more on point if it were raining at all today, or the reason I layed around was because I didn't have anything to do. It's not that I couldn't concieve a way to fill my day, my room is so full up with dirty laundry I actually almost fell on it twice last week, or clean up the living room which had become rather trashed itself, or even one more step up do the dishes which have inhabited the sink for so long the flies are starting to appear. All very valid ways to spend the day, and even better, "productive". I know Lou would say that it's fine to lay around all day on a Sunday, and do nothing, but there's a certain bit of guilt or shame involved. I feel like I should spend my time more wisely. It's sort of the same way I feel about working out, or my physical appearance.

Wow, this has become so degrading so quickly. Quick, switch subjects before anyone else notices... Nope, I got nothing.

Till next time then, same lame time, same lame channel.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Well, I prolly beat Dolan in Fantasy Football... So, cheers to my pick strategy...

We Blog From a Dell C800

2004-09-10T14:56:00.000-04:00

Ohhh baby, what a sexi lil laptop it is.

Yeah, so it's Friday, a lazy sort of Friday here at the office, and I've decided to fill the time with my first blog from my laptop.

While the beast is structurely sound, there is some physical damage on the outside of the case that the seller wasn't good enough to inform me of. What can I say, the world is full of haters. Everything works fine, it's a damned decent system.

And, it's more than capable of blogging.

I'm really not in the mood to do so at the moment, so I do kindly bid you adieu.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Fuggin Fried-days...

Wow, It's 6am... We Never Write This Late...

2004-09-06T05:37:00.000-04:00

Note to self, you really should be spending this time a little more wisely...

Perhaps touching up your resume would be time better spent, being as it's in such high demand these days.

I wanted to spend some time talking about the concept of the resume. Being as it's a pertinent subject matter in the coming day. I never liked the idea of a resume. I don't like the concept of one's work history dictating their ability, or percieved ability to perform the tasks required by the desired position. First, obviously there is little risk involved in hiring for most positions in a company. Second, no one would be applying for the position if thier current job were better, or demanded more then the objective. Third, many things look good on paper.

Not that I like to talk about the war, or politics, or anything like that but it's a decent analogy for the situation. Let's say Bush was sitting in the Oval Office, or the Situation Room, or something of the like strategically planning for the proposed invasion of Iraq. Now, obviously, his bean bag chair puts him a little below table level, so he had to rely on his staff to dictate the plan to him. Well, one to dictate it to him, then three more to dumb down the language. And, on paper, it seemed like a good idea to police the world. So, he laid upon it his crayon'd John Hancock, and America's young and dumb and innocent are shipped overseas without their say or knowledge or consent.

Enough with mocking the current leader of the free world, there's no challenge in it.

Back to the idea of resumes. I don't like to add the little accent to the word, or and umlaut or whatever it requires to be gramatically accurate. If you'd not some how noticed in my previous writings, i've got little concern for gramatically accuracy, and even more I like to disrespect that which I don't agree with.

I understand that an HR manager doesn't have all the time in the world. Well, honestly I couldn't imagine they've much else to do beyond reading resumes and sitting down with prospective candidates. So, their days couldn't remain that full, unless they worked for an emassive corporation with a high turn over ratio. It may seem important to the process to use resumes to filter unworthy candidates, and conserve time, but honestly your only cheating yourself. Many don't have the time nor money to hire a professional to assemble their resume, or even more so don't keep one on hand. They didn't expect the president to export their job to cheaper foreign labor, so they weren't planning on looking for work in the near future. Again, I digress, not that it's all that rare I stray from the subject at hand. Here's the point I was making.

I think of myself as a decent writer. In my life I've achieved a great deal. I'm proud of the postions I've held at the companies I've worked for, and even more so of my efforts while with them. I'm only 22 and I've got a great deal of real world experience in a variety of fields. What i'm saying is, beyond the obvious lack of degree, I'm a damned prime candidate for most companies. Yet, I'd wager if I applied, and my resume came across your desk, you'd pass over me. Good chance you'd end up with some young buck, straight out of college, with a frat house mentality, a $100 a week coke habit, no real world experience, and an absolutely abysmal work ethic. Simply because his parent's invested $60,000 in a college who was good enough to make him accredited for his C- average.

It's most often refered to as credentialism. While, it's only a concept or therory really... This is how the dictionary defines it:

cre·den·tial·ism
( P ) Pronunciation
Key (kr-dnsh-lzm)n.
Overemphasis on diplomas or degrees in
giving jobs or conferring social status

While, I don't disagree with the definition, I abuse the term in a different, or more so broader sense of the word. Which, conviently, ties back to the point I was making earlier. Where as, one's past achievements are used to determine their percieved worth, more than their potential to achieve. Now now now, I know this sounds crazy, and you're going to want to disagree with me, you'll say that of course it's taken into consideration. Consider this then, I walk into any relatively respected higher education institution, and express to them an idea. I suggest they allow me to attend their university without cost, in exchange for $100,000 when I make my first million. Now, this descision would be weighed quickly, and I'd guarentee the scale would never tip in my favor. Even with the prospect of making their tuition back two to three fold, they wouldn't accept the risk, simply because my credentials don't suggest I'd be a prime candidate for such an offer.

I'd say it was their loss, but nothing risked is nothing lost and all.

Either way, it's 6:30, and I've got to get some rest if I intend to "update" or "spice up" my resume tomorrow.

-Rys4K

p.s. - As Kanye says... Two words; Fuck you, Pay me. Which doesn't really make sense, but seems powerful and all.

By The "C" on Cleveland Browns Stadium...

2004-09-02T09:10:00.000-04:00

Yes, his gas petal is... flacid, it's gone limp...

So, yesterday was mighty interesting. I'm sitting at home, somewhere around 6 pm, and I get a call from JJ. He wants me to grab Nascar 2004 out of the XBOX and meet him out front of the house in 15 minutes. See, Nascar 2005 was supposively shipped two days past, and in his excitement, JJ has been up to Game Crazy the last three days anxiously awaiting it's arrival. Either way, I find a shirt, and grab the game, and sit about and wait. JJ calls me again about 8 minutes later, and I stand up, turn off the TV, and start towards the door. He tells me he needs another favor. As it ends up, JJ is stranded with a broken truck, by the "C" in Cleveland Browns Stadium.

I jump in the Buick, which had instantly become far superior to JJ's truck, and headed out. Luckily, being as we live on the western crest of Cleveland, he wasn't all that far, or I might have had to tell him I was tied up at the moment. 2 West to the 9th street exit, a left at the light, a left at the 2 West enterance, and bear right, and there stands JJ heartbroken as ever. After a few meager efforts towards investigating what might the problem might be, we decide Triple A is the right choice. And then... we wait...

First, let me say this if you're a crackhead, or ever aspire to be a crackhead, don't attempt to give auto advice. Second, if you're a crackhead, instead of asking for money, you might want to beg for a pair of shoes, if you've not got any and all. Finally, if you're a crackhead, try a story a little more believable than "I'm trying to get to Wisconsin."

Yeah, so we're standing by the car, and we're approached by a crackhead looking to find her way to Wisconsin. You'd think it unfair to assume this person were a crackhead, until you realized all the obvious signs. One: If the gas petal doesn't work on a car, it's unreasonable to assume it's a transmission problem. Two: Crackheads have a very obvious shake or tremor about them. Three: Crackheads have been classically known to trade their shoes for a nice fat rock. Four: Cracky-ass Lips. Five: No one, litterally no one, is trying to get to Wisconsin. Infact many people are trying to escape Wisconsin as we speak. Six: You could hear the distinct clink of spare change on crack pipe as she walked.

Six signs of the mysterious "Cleveland Nubian Crackious Fiendian"...

Anyhow, i'll get back to this some other time. I've got to go get coffee before I start my work day, or at least before the boss shows.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Fuck, I am the boss... Now I'm in trouble, i've been spotted.

We're Trying to Maintain the Unspoken Promise of a One a Week Minimum...

2004-08-31T23:59:00.000-04:00

Also known as, I'd noticed it's almost been a week since my last post, not to mention the stall in traffic...

News of the moment, i'm tired. As Jay put it, it's 11:30 and you just got home from your second job, you got up for work at 7:30 this morning, no shit you're tired.

It's almost bothersome, with what zen like mastery JJ is able to state the obvious. So, again i'm growing more and more discontent with the downward spiral inherint to money. We work all the damned time, to get money, which we use to buy flashy shit we don't need, with the little spare time we have in which we're not working, THEN you save a little, throw it into your retirement fund, but with the rate of inflation, and taking into consideration that you barely make enough to survive and save, therefore you're basically going to work the rest of your life, then die much earlier than you should, due to the enormous stress you've endured working 50 or so hours a week the last 50 years of your life. What's so appealing about this scenerio? Why do we all fall right into line? Why can't we just go live in a cabin in the mountains with the things we need and the one we love?

Atleast there is 80's music to make things seem a little more upbeat? That's the funniest thing, the songs all sound so upbeat, but it's about some grim or malicous subject matter.

Speaking of malicous subject matter, Dad seems to keep calling. It's pretty obvious if you call someone three times a week, and always some how mysteriously end up in voicemail, theres a chance it's not an accident. Every damned time, he leaves me a voicemail too, and some how I'm stupid enough to actually listen.

If I've not mentioned it yet, the last couple weeks, i've been trying to recall I happy memory shared with my father. And, I can't. I mean, I honestly can't think of a single happy moment shared with my father in the 22 years i've known him. Which could really suggest why we don't speak all that often.

Either way, back to the voicemail. I don't remember it verbatim, and I got all pissy and deleted it, but here's the general paraphrase. "Hey Steve, it's 7:30 on Tuesday, I just wanted to give you a call to tell you we're all getting together this Sunday for a little food and drink, I'd like to see you there." Let me take a moment to translate, "It's 7:30 on Tuesday, I wanted you to come over this Sunday, because at Jen's wedding, everyone learned that I've been lying to them telling them you still live out in Pittsburgh for the last year or so. Soooo, if you could show up this Sunday, I won't have to lie to them about our current standing."

Something along those lines. At a certain point in most peoples lives, usually some where after they leave their highschool years, they come to realize the reality of the situation is much more important than how it appears. It's about substance, not flash or fluff.

So, I leave you with these words of advice. Come to know what is really important to you, and do all you can to keep it in your life.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I only seem bitter, because you don't understand.

An Elitist for the People...

2004-08-25T03:05:00.000-04:00

The common man, better than the common man...

That's a catchy little phrase that's been haunting me of recent. I could tell you where it originates, but those who know, know it could only be "her". I don't know that I ever attained any closure in regards to that situation. Well, let's restate that in the most ... palatable way possible; That situation was fucked, as well was she. Cheers to the bliss infatuation brings about and all, but eventually you realize something that fun is unhealthy in it's own way. This is obviously the asshole thing to say, but we could've made a great couple if she was able to overcome her various personal issues. Funniest thing about the whole situation is this; She tells me early on she wants me to be straight with her. So, about a week in, I'm straight with her, and it ruins it all, and slowly dies over the next month. I've come to realize most people only think they want to know the truth, because as cliche as it sounds and all, most can't handle the truth.

Enough fluff and backround, let's get back to the point I was actually trying to make. Towards the inevitable end of that little escapade she'd suggested she was drafting up a pro / con sheet to aid her in comparing her ex-boyfriend and me. This was actually kind of flattering, to think I still had something left in the "pro" column. This really didn't play well towards my uncannily introspective nature. I have yet to determine if this was a cunning malicous act or just an innocent stupid one. Once before I'd walked away, and twice after I'd asked her to take a look at said list. To no one's surprise, i've still yet to see it. But, she gave me one, a single item from her little list, she told me I was an elitist.

I was schocked and awed by the comment, well not really, in fact i've been told I come off "stuffy" at times. You'd really think if I maintained this perception that I was better than everyone, I'd have a lot more confidence. I do have the incredible ability to make people feel bad about themselves, which i'm pretty sure i've mentioned here before, but it's not like I consciously use it to set myself above the rest.

Most of the time i'm one of the sweetest, charming, and endearing people you'd ever meet. I always put forth the effort to be percieved at a minimum to be gentlemenly and chivalrious. Perhaps people are getting better at sensing what i'm thinking then being distracted by what I say.

Alright, we'll sway this from that now, and make mention finally that i'm sick again. Physically ill or unwell, being as sick is so easy to misunderstand. This morning it felt like a sinus infection, the whole left side of my head was going to war. The back left of my throat was sore, my left nostril was running like mad, not to mention the incredible pressure behind my left eye, and finally a general headache to top it all off. I still made it up on time, made it over to Reserve Square to drop off the dry cleaning, pick up a large coffee, and make the office by quarter to 9. My office day didn't last all that long though, I was short fused this morning, but the boys couldn't tell. Left at noon when all else went off to lunch. Stopped at everyone's favorite ghetto convient to grab up a few recently necessary supplies, and made my way home. JJ was still sleeping when I got in, we'll pretend he's enjoying his last days off before class start. I mixed up a nice little narcotic cocktail and went off to bed. Slept till about 4, when I got up for an hour to call Lou and let him know I was down for the count. Stayed awake until round about 5, then more drugs and rest. Woke up again round about 9, eventually dragged my ass out of the house to get something to eat as I realized i'd yet to consume something today. Didn't feel like spending a minimum of $10 to get the chinese place to deliver some won ton my way.

So, suddenly it's 3 am, and the drugs are finally taking hold again. I imagine I'll awake somewhere around... 9 and decide if i've got it in me to make it into the office.

Till then, stay classy Cleveland...

-Rys4K

p.s.- I was flipping through blogs this evening, care of the new blogger toolbar you see at the top of the page, and I realized that A.) No one has a damned lick of taste anymore, and B.) This isn't something that should be abused by the low brow... Did stumble across one page worthwhile, but not so much so to track back and find the link.

p.s.s.- We well surpassed 25K words here on blogger, before this post.

A Brief Reprieve From my Perpetual Discontent...

2004-08-23T13:15:00.000-04:00

Also known as the lunch hour...

Another lunch at the office, another $3.10, another coffee and bagel, another 30 minutes of rest...

I noticed it's rather hot out today, another beautiful day to continue the mini-streak. I guess yesterday the weather was rather fine also, but I slept through most of it.

Anyhow, I wanted to really begin this post with a brief analogy, this one particularly graphic, to exaggerate the similiarities. Imagine if you got a dog, a kind loving beast. But, for some reason unknown, you chose to kick the dog in the head everytime you saw him. For no real reason, perhaps annoyance, or frustration, or something of the sort you lay a serious blow upon an unsuspecting and even more so undeserving victim. Overtime the dog would become timid, and grow a healthy fear of you. It would avoid you when you came home, it would do it's best to shy away behind something when it saw you. In the even more eventual future, the dog would either run away, or lash out at you in defense...

So, for those of you who don't get the joke, that was a parallel to my current day to day 9 to 5... It's not anywhere near that extreme, but you get the point. The majority of my clients are acquired through cold calls. Meaning I'm the guy calling you about your phones. Not many people are all that excited to talk about their phone lines, and the market is so over saturated with other shady motharuckers, that it's difficult to convey my skill or experience over the phone.

"Sixteen tons, what do you get, another day older and deeper in debt. St. Peter don't you call me cause I can't go, I owe my soul to the company store." -Tennesse Ernie Ford

It's kind of funny that came up on Yahoo Radio as I was expressing my concern over my current position. Followed closely by a little Rage Against the Machine.

Either way, you may wonder what would keep me here then? Well, quite honestly, where else can you make a half dozen phone calls, and pocket a deal that'll put $1000 in your pocket? Albeit they're few and far between, it happens. It does. Not to exclude the idea of the pending raise. Where as I wouldn't only get a status bump, but a bit of a raise. The only problem is, I don't know if said raise is enough to keep me getting by if I really don't want to spend the bulk of my days on the phones?

It's amazing what I share with the internet. Being as "insecure" as it is, although it has that needle in a haystack thing about it, still someone could stumble across it. Who knows.

Till next time folks,

-Rys4K

p.s.- It's not as bad as it sounds, i'm just having a crap day. There's always tomorrow, and that miracle call to get you through.

It's Time to Live the Legend...

2004-08-23T01:35:00.000-04:00

This message brought to you by those who care at Rys4K...

It's time to live the legend. I had an interesting weekend. I shared some intimate moments with men I truly respect for their abilities in the professional world. At a certain point in the evening, before I got so out of control I could barely see, I had the opportunity to inquire as to the "secret".

So, I say, what's the secret to your success? He replies "..."

You don't get to know, I asked him the question, I get to know the secret. What I will tell you is that I've decided to live the legend. Some of you may wonder what that entails, but there isn't a direct answer. You can't tell someone how to live the legend, they've got to decide that themselves. It sounds a little cheesy, but that doesn't matter all that much, it's a thought, an idea, conveyed through a title. Think of it as an experiment towards an experience.

Wanted to take a moment and talk about the weekend, did quite a bit as it were. I've been really busy of recent, it's a good thing. Friday night, I left work at 3:30, which is barely night and all. Had to run home to track down a form, and went back to the east side to handle a banking issue. Finished up my business at the bank, and went and grabbed Reilly, and went suit shopping. One, I look fucking amazing in a good suit. That being said, understand I got a bit aggressive or zealous with my suit shopping, but style costs accordingly. So, the associate was a good guy, took great care of me, suggested a few very nice suits. It came down to a final four, and as much as I wanted to pick up 2, the daily spending limit currently in place on the bank account wouldn't allow such a thing. Not that it was in my best interest to do so any how. I can't say I'm at that place in my life where I can drop $700-800 in one fitting on 2 suits. So I end up in a three button charcoal grey Jones New York, with a heavy blue "2 Ply" Joseph & Feiss International shirt, and a blue and silver grandient tie from Ziggurat. It's a good look. With the pants tailored while I waited, the total tab on the outfit was $409.26, which was conviently all of 3 pennies over what I just got back from a bank error. Not that I didn't miss the money last month when it was misappropriated, but it was a nice little bonus in my time of need and all.

Funny thing is I get paid this week too, and while I have no idea what kind of check I'm looking forward to I do intend to go back and pick up the second suit, on either Wednesday or Thursday. Another three button, this one is black, with light blue and grey pinstripes, care of Kenneth Cole as it were. Which I do believe I'll also look exceptional in.

Back to the idea of my weekend, and sharing that with you all. Friday night, Reilly, Lou and I went and saw the new Exorcist movie, and grabbed a bite to eat. The movie ate some serious nuts, and the CGI was almost as poor as the script. Which was followed shortly there after by a lack luster meal at Quaker Steak and Lube. Had a burger, because I've never had a good experience with their wings. Actually, funny enough, we all had burgers, and no one really enjoyed them. The appetizer was the only redeeming part of the meal. A wide variety of deep fried bits, with three rather choice dipping sauces, all served on Fiesta wear, and a bucket... You can't beat food served in a cardboard bucket. The atmosphere there actually kind of bothered me, not that it has in the past, but for some reason it all seemed so cheesy and over the top. You can only be so impressed with garage parts scattered amongst the walls. Any who, went back to Mom's place in the clid after and took time to press the lines out of my new shirt. I don't know why they can't put dress shirts on a rack, so they don't look like they've been sitting on a shelf stuffed with straight pins and cardboard for years and years. Got home at two am, and hit the sack immediately because we had mass to attend in the morning.

One, I don't go to church, i'm not much for religon. Organized religon for that matter. But, Saturday morning I end up at Holy Family church at 10:30 am. All because of a man we call Dolan. Well, I guess Deanna takes some blame too, being as without her it wouldn't have been all that much of a ceremony. So, I'm sitting in a pew, next to Duffy, his girl, and Bob, who'd just one week previous had taken a $15+ pot in hold um, with trip 5's over my two pair, 3's and 5's... I think i'm only resentful, because he was fading in and out of consciousness half the hand. Though, he did prove useful in advising me how to make it look like I was kneeling down and praying to the lord with the rest of them. Not only that, but he didn't take communion either, which made me a bit more comfortable with the situation. It's almost like everyone falls into this groove where they're totally numb to what they're mindlessly supporting. The preacher says something, the masses reply. It would seem no one actually listens to him either, because what he's saying would seem so over the top and cult-like if it weren't such a major religon. Like, part of the wedding vows themselves are promising to maintain a christian home, raising their children by example, as good christian children. Hold a tic, what happened to the concept of religous freedom? How about letting the child choose which religous concepts he prescribes to? Not to mention, I do believe during the NFL season, the churches attendance almost halves? How about Madden as a false prophet? Alright, we're getting side tracked. I obviously respect Dolan a great deal, and attended the ceremony because it meant a lot to him. And then, we wait. I don't know if you want to call it bad planning, because when he explained the reasoning to me on Thursday, it seemed pretty ... reasonable honestly. There was a six hour gap between the reception and the ceremony. So, I'm hanging out with Duff man, and Ashley at Ashley's apartment, which honestly seems to be way the hell off in the cut. Hung out there as Ashley frosted the cake, ran out and got some Donatos and a pair of dowel rods for the cake. Ashley is a masterful little baker, and was commisioned to do the cake. Which turned out pretty damned well honestly, as much as the florist's assitant seemed to try to sabotage it. I actually got about a two hour nap in, which really did me well towards the evening. Though, for some reason I awoke with a horrid headache. So, Duffy hit me off with two Advil around the time we were delivering and setting up the cake. When I say we, I mean I stood around and tried to sound supportive.

6 o'clock finally rolled around, and we went up to South End to grab a drink, just so we wouldn't be there when the wedding party arrived. So, we grabbed a quick beer at the bar, then went back around the corner to the reception. For reference, this is where the madness begun. The reception was really great, it even had a powerpoint presentation that i assume Mike assembled. The speeches were pretty well done, seemed a bit off the cuff, but that can be a great way to let real emotion or compassion shine through. I was already about 4 drinks deep at the moment. Vodka and Cranberry, a dozen through out the evening. Mixed in the most reckless fashion by the bartending staff. While I was appreciative with how loose they were with the Smirnoff at the time, in retrospect I do wish they weren't so giving. It's now about 1:30, so I've got to wrap this story up. It's somewhere about 3 am, and I wake up rather quickly on Brett's couch, and make my way up to the bathroom, and vomit profusely. That really does well to wake and sober you up. So, I stay up for about an hour chatting with Brett and Mary Kay, being as I was suddenly so much better than before. I had a horrible morning, and spent most of today resting up from yesterday's excitement, and now i'm ready to sleep in preparation for the morning.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Living the legend, 7 short hours from now.

It Sort of Feels Like I'm Cheating on my Keyboard...

2004-08-21T00:37:00.000-04:00

Or something funnier that doesn't sound nearly as dorky...

This is really odd. It's almost like driving someone else's car, even when you know it's only temporary and soon you'll return to the "comfortable quirks" of the Buick. I guess it'd be appropriate to mention it's about 12:30 and i'm posting from depth within enemy territory... The Clid...

For some reason i've always viewed the Clid as a lot more ghetto than it is. Don't get me wrong, it is in fact pretty damned ghetto, but not as much as i'd make it seem. Actually, I think it was the Euclid Public School System that instilled the distaste. Nothing like busing in the really ghetto children of East Cleveland to bring down the median.

I, one day down the road, want to roll up into the parking lot of "The Euclid Highschool" in my drop top beamer, step out in my Kenneth Coles, with a $500 suit on, walk in and tell every staff member that doubted me how exactly they should fuck themselves. Not just the general exclamation you'd think of, but a detailed step by step explanation with graphs and projectors and fuckin indian burns man... It'd be a horrific understand to suggest the faculty and I didn't see eye to eye on a few issues. Basically, they were in the habit of suggesting everything I did was wrong, and I played the role of the unrulely slighted teen. I remember the day I was sitting in the principal's lobby, awaiting his dictative judgement, and I made a comment along the lines of... "I can understand why someone would choose to walk into a place like this and open fire" In my usual calm tone. Of course, abusing the "Zero Tolerance" policy, they threatened to expel me for such a threat. I, again calmly, explained to them it would be extremely difficult to convience anyone that conveyed understanding is in any way a threat. I also cited a fine example, as how I could understand what amazing joy they must wake with in the morning, knowing they can bully and demoralize children with the bulk of their day. They appreciated the latter suggestion even less.

I don't think I ever intended to write about highschool in this post. Highschool was a long time ago. I think it was more so because I'm in Euclid currently, and all of my scorned views of Euclid are almost entirely based off of my time in highschool.

I should buy that place. Buy out the entire building, take over the payroll, and start cutting some serious fat. Take out the bulk of administration who set their own outrageous salary, and distribute it amongst the teaching population. Then, remove all teachers who either don't care to teach, or only do so, so they may coach a sport of some sort. I really don't need a disengaged middle aged man teaching Social Studies, so he can stare at the fully blossomed female varsity soccer team bounce up and down the sideline. Hell, theres a chance i'd remove sports entirely. Replace them with various arts, theature, other worldly culture building experiences.

Hell, I'd even implement incentive programs to get the kids more involved in the arts. Even as spectators as it were. If 80% of the student body attends the student orchestra concert, we'll make attendance option on Friday, so those of you who care to can make it a long weekend.

Actually, i'll take it one step further, I'll make attendance completely optional. That's damned right, i'm that crazy, you don't earn a nickname like "Crazy Eddie" for no reason. And, if a teacher is unable to maintain an 85% weekly attendance average, i'll sit them down and have a little chat. Ask them why they believe students would choose not to attend their class? Why they find it boring or drab, or disconnected and not hands on. I'd punish the teachers for not making class more engaging and appealing...

Nothing like a dream, ehh?

I think I should start "Rys Consulting". My own little consulting firm. Where, for a nominal fee, you could contract me to enter the innerworkings of your business, and tell you where you're being retarded. Now, that, would be excellent. Step one, make all of your employees commisioned employees. Take their basic function, and set a number of times they should be able to complete that function, then pay them based on percentage what you'd of normally paid them. Lets say you pay John to fold shirts at your screening facility. Currently, you pay John about $500 a week. You've had problems with John showing up late, leaving early, disappearing for half hour spans at random, and generally just slacking off. Now, tell John you expect him to fold 200 shirts in a day. That's about 2 shirts a minute, averaged. Not that hard, not an unreasonable expectation. Now, tell John that if he folds an average of 100 shirts a day over a one week span, you'll pay him $250, or half of his normal salary for half of the expected performance. John might take offense at first, but he was a lazy stoner cunt anyways, so it doesn't really matter if he walks out on you. But, if you like John, or if he's unfortunately your step mother's nephew, you tell him that if he averages 400 shirts a day over a week's time, you'll pay him $1000 dollars for that week, or double what he's normally paid. I bet you every god damned red cent I have to my name his ass would show up on time, if not early, work the whole day through, sometimes even skipping lunch, to keep his numbers up. This is why every employee should work on 100% commision. Productivity would raise exponentially.

I think that will conclude our broadcast day, as I've got to go iron my new shirt I bought for my new suit, so I can look super fucking slick tomorrow.

-Rys4K

p.s.- Fuck um and feed um, I'll leave um, Gettin all fucked up in my mind. (Cypress Hill)

Another Night in The Place, And my Mock Turtleneck Just Wreaks...

2004-08-19T12:50:00.000-04:00

Well, no, I'm actually at work, and in a white button down...

Yet, some how that lyric came to mind, and even better seemed appropriate. I'm actually having an oddly off beat day.

Let's start from the begining. I woke up today to my make shift alarm clock (my cellphone and a pile of pennies) which happens to make the most atrocious sound in the world. In turn, I wake up and it's 7:43, all of one minute after i'd set the alarm to rouse me the previous evening. First thing I noticed was that i'd some how cut my forearm in my sleep, not like a deep gash or anything, but the kind of scratch that reminds you it might be time to cut your nails. Second thing I noticed was that my back was killing me again. Since the day my back "went out" i've just not been feeling up to par, something just seems off, it's always sore and i'm constantly in fear of it begining to spasm again. Cause, you know, that's not all that fun.

Anyhow, I decided to have my first ciggarette, then lay on the couch for a moment, hoping that'd help with the whole back pain thing. Turned on the TV, went to CNN, which wasn't all that good or informative this morning. So I scrolled up a few channels, and caught the gold medal match in woman's badmitton. I ended up dozing off, not because badmitton isn't an excellent spectator sport, but I had taken some drugs for my back.

Either way, I wake up and it's just about 10 o'clock, have another ciggarette, and consider my options. I decide to call Pat. He wasn't coming into the office today, because he's got to finish the 11th hour details for his wedding this weekend. I just told him the truth, and he suggested a lie would sound better, so I made up some story about being kidnapped by some fine young blonde from the bar last night, where she'd taken me back to her sorority house and chained me down and her and all of her "sisters" went to town on me. Told him i'd just woken up on my porch, naked, bound in duct tape with a sharpie message written across my chest. "Thanks for the great evening, the girls of KOI". We both rather enjoyed that, and he told me to call him when I got into the office.

Actually, i'm going to cut the story short here, and finish it later on, simply because my bagel is consumed, and i've got some work to do.
-To Be Continued...-

-Rys4K

p.s.- I should draft something like that for the Penthouse Forum...

Blogger has Defied my Wishes...

2004-08-17T23:08:00.000-04:00

And, it must feel the wrath of my will...

It says i'll have to post again for the changes to be made to my template...

-Rys4K

p.s.- That'll teach you kids... If you steal templates, make sure you actually know what you're doing while editing them.

In the Rare Case an Errection Lasts More Than Four Hours...

2004-08-17T22:52:00.000-04:00

Seek Immediate Medical Attention, or a member of the opposite sex...

So, I just saw a Levitra commercial. It happens to be an absolute coincidence that i've referenced it twice in a six hour stretch. I don't have a name for my member, if I did I might be able to refer to it a little more casually. My penis is just fine. It's actually quite nice, which has always been a nice ego boost and all. It's a bit lonely, when couldn't he use more company though?

Well now, this has gotten completely out of hand. Which is an unintended allusion to masturbation. Well, now it's not.

Something else. We've got a little Blog community going on here. Reilly, Lil Reilly, and I. It's interesting, especially now that i've made reference four times to my cock, and twice to masturbation.

That's it, it's over, i'm off to bed. I'll watch some West Wing from my humble matress stack, and unconsciously prepare myself for tomorrow.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I can already smell the coffee brewing.

Why Can No One Speak Straight?

2004-08-17T18:15:00.000-04:00

So, I get home from work. Kick back on the couch, enjoy some cold pizza from last night and turn on CNN. I've been watching a lot of CNN of recent, in my aspiration to stay worldly. It's not that local news is crap, it's just... well... Ok, so maybe it is crap.

Anyhow, Governor Rod Blagojevich is on Lou Dobbs because he basically ignored federal law and the rulings of the FDA to setup a program which would aid the citizens of Illinois in importing cheaper drugs from Canada. When I say cheaper I don't mean, well I can save $0.37 after I take shipping into account, I'm talking 25-50% cheaper. That's a lot, and we're not talking Viagra or Levitra or something for your middle aged flacid member, we're talking real prescription medicine that families and the elderly rely on daily to maintain their well being.

And, he's dancing around the issue, he's not calling it straight. He doesn't want to name names, or suggest why his efforts are so secretly opposed.

Now, let's pretend like in the world of politics someone finally stepped up to the plate and said what they really meant.

"In the final push for Medicare prescription drug legislation, the pharmaceutical industry, HMOs and related interests spent more money and hired more lobbyists in 2003 than ever before, according to The Medicare Drug War, a new report by Public Citizen. The pharmaceutical and managed care industries spent a combined $141 million last year."

Followed by a little nutshell explanation...

"Bush likes drug companies, because they hand him millions, while he through his obvious political influence and partnerships to maintain an unfair mark up in our supposively "free market"

I hate republicans so much.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I'm going to start buying up local cable advertisment space... Film a really straight forward commercial, me, sitting in a chair, smoking, black back drop... And my words are as follows "Pay Attention. A lot happens in the world on any given day, it might be in your best interest to try to follow some of those stories. These people who you allow to lead you are constantly making descisions in your worst interest while pocketing millions. Pull the wool from your eyes... And if you just reached for your GAP wool mock-turtleneck, just stop breathing and save me ad dollars."

Well Since I Spent an Hour Updating the Look...

2004-08-17T00:52:00.000-04:00

I mind as well provide a little substance with all my flash.

First, i'd like to note that this template was inspired by (stolen from) the link on the right of the page. I do believe they also give themselves credit in the source, if you'd like to take a peek.

Second, I had the sort of day that nightmares are made of. Well, actually no, no subconscious would subject a tortured soul to this sort of experience. The day started out well, today I sported the blue pin strip hilfiger button down atop the dark navy clairborne slacks, which looks mighty nice beyond the wide collar and sleeves an inch too shallow. Made the trifecta of stops on the way into the office, Gas / Ciggarettes / Coffee, in 8 minutes flat. The day started the way the day normally starts. Drink some coffee, eat the cookie, walk about and inquire about everyone's evening / weekend. Which I wish I would've written about earlier, because this weekend was Dolan's bachelor party, and when you get that many men together, especially men as capable as we, there's going to be a good time had by all. Actually, I will tell a 9 second story, on the way back to Pat's place, round about 2 a.m. for those keeping score, on a limo bus that seats 30, Dolan in all of his inebriated wisdom decides to crowd surf amongst the isles. It went a lot better than expected, and was really quite hilarious.

Actually know what, we're going to end this message on that high note.

What happened today, honestly doesn't matter, it was fucked long before this.

That's the lot of it, we just play ball from here to do a little damage control, and see if we can't come away rather unscaythed.

-Rys4K

p.s.- I don't like the feeling of being unempowered, nor in a situation where i'd unintentionally wronged a client... But, I guess it can happen...

It's Monday and the Coffee is Bitter...

2004-08-16T10:32:00.000-04:00

Just like your scorn and blackened heart.

It amazes me with what disregard I'm treated on a daily basis. These people seem to lose the concept of common courtesy simply because I'm not standing infront of them. I could only imagine how their tone would differ as I stared down upon their desk. It's not to say all are this way, but those in fact do care to act in such a manner really merge the rest towards their evil little gradient.

But, it is overcoming such odds that seems to make my job so much more rewarding. Not to mention of course the obscene paychecks.

Thats all, it's Monday, I was let down by my coffee, and I just felt like bitching to an open forum.

-Rys4K

p.s.- That's all you are to me internet, an open portal for my moments of rage.

I Have Misplaced My Checkbook...

2004-08-13T07:51:00.000-04:00

It's blue, rectangular, and has a cheap plastic cover...

If you happen to come across it, please do let me know...

-Rys4K

p.s.- I'm going to take the time to write something real in the near future...

Rys4K, or something like it...

My Inaugural Adventures... Day 1 Part 2

My Inaugural Adventures... Day 1 part 1

My Future Called...

Six Months, 17 Days -- Almost to the Minute.

It's Two AM, Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

I Offer This as a Contrast

It's All Happening...

Your Invitation to the Trifecta Celebration!!!

The Craziest Thing Just Happened To Me

So It Seems Someone Else Thinks I'm Special As Well...

It's Far Too Beautiful Day To Be Stuck Behind a Monitor

Something a Little Shallower & More Self-Aggrandizing

In the Unending Dichotomy Between Comedy and Tragedy...

Mostly I'm Tired of People Being Ugly to Each Other

It's Been Said ... That All Men Lead Lives of Quiet Desperation...

I Quoted Nietzsche More Than Three Times In One Day

*** New Gadget Alert ***

Those Who Know Me Best, Understand The Extreme Underlying Irony and Contrast

A Kingmaker Update

I'm Treating It Like My Own Personal Secular Christmas

Grades Are In Again.

New Photos Posted...

This is Me, Reveling...

A Continuation of the Sunday Tradition...

I No Longer Trust Numbers...

Eat, Drink and Be Merry...

One Last Smoke Always Seems Like A Good Idea...

Wow, It's Friggin Early

Date of Last Post: October 22nd, 2006 : Premise of Last Post: Posting More Regularly

Lets Us Begin a Brand New Sunday Tradition...

I Forgot To Complain About The Corporate Whores Of The Insurance Industry, The Waste Of Local Bureaucracy And Their Lack Of Communication...

It's Late, Yet I've Got All The Time In The World...

It's Big, It's Beautiful, It's Burgandy and It's a Buick...

Two Posts in One Day...

I Walk As A King Amongst Men...

So, It's Been Three Months Since I Visited...

I Swear I Was Going To Read...

Trying Blogger for Word...

It's late, and i'm drinking...

My First Post From a Public Source...

There is a massive gap in my blogs...

Well, we kept our promise to ourselves...

If a written word is never read, was it ever really written at all?

Ive not yet shared anything today...

Today, 8 am seems earlier than ever.

Were blogging from the parking lot of Rainbow Muffler on the corner of 185th & St Clair

Another day, another entry...

Got a good 10 minutes before class, why not share the dramatic events of the morninng?

Again, we blog from class, previous to the arrival of our fearless professor that is.

Blogging from inside the belly of the beast.

I'm A Different Man Than I Was Yesterday...

50,000 Words, And Only 1200 Hits...

Our Greatest Fear Is Not That We Are Inadequate, But That We Are Powerful Beyond Measure.

Forgive Me America, For I Have Sinned...

The Road To My Future Is Paved In Certified Funds...

Hey, I Know You, Don't I?

This Post Has Had About A Dozen Different Names...

STEVE'S BIRTHDAY WISH LIST!

Man Up Nigga, Man Up.

Well, I Fucked Up...

I Do Wonder Sometimes, How We Always Find Ourselves Here...

It's Not 6 AM, But, Why Not Come Out of The Woodwork...

Another 6 AM Note...

Wasn't That Just a Cliff Hanger?

It's 6 AM on a Sunday...

I'm Starting Another Fund Raiser...

I'm Having a Really Bad Day...

This is My Good-Bye to These Divide States of Embarassment...

I Know Your Afraid, I Know Why Your Afraid, But It Doesn't Excuse Your Actions...

I'm So Proud Of Myself At The Moment...

I'm Fucking Angry... Angry... Pissed... Et Fucking Cetra...

I've Tasted All The Colors of The Rainbow...

A New Simplistic View...

It's Not a Post, It's a Commitment...

I Think We Have Come To The End Of The Road...

I Don't Often Do This... This is NOT The Reason I Have a Blog

I'm Pretty Sure God Never Intended Me To Be A Laborer

It's mifdnight, and I'm pretty sure I should be sleeping...

The Rys4K Lunch Hour Thought of the Day, for Monday October 4th...

* New Gadget Alert *